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36 humanity art! How to say it all without hurting other people’s feelings?

Chapter 4: How to say it all without hurting other people’s feelings?

When communicating with people

who must be good at listening

to ideas in languages

and look at body language,

and knowing how to convey ideas outside of words,

it is the most wonderful art of correcting social relations.

Elderly people who teach everyday life specialize

in saying a sentence with two meanings.

The elite don’t need to say much, don’t need to say it,

but make it clear:

the crafty little people are used to spitting blood,

cursing dogs and cats,

using harsh words to make others close.

Regardless of whether the speaker intentionally hides the mystery or not,

the listener must clearly understand the true intention

of the speaker to be able to respond appropriately.

If your mind is not alert,

your ears are not sharp, you will definitely encounter many difficulties.

In the words of the word,

slamming the side is the game of the smart,

the fool can’t play.

The mind is not sharp,

of course,

there will be disaster

or it will become a joke for the world.

In the words, attacking from the side is actually a kind of slander,

both attaching importance to the strategy of slander,

and at the same time attaching importance to the hidden art,

so it is more active and magical than the slander.

It is a super social trick that only intelligent people can use.


1. Small talk can also attack people

Society is very complicated,

we often encounter many grievances,

many injustices,

but we cannot express our dissatisfaction.

To our loved ones,

sometimes it is necessary to criticize skillfully.

But how to express this dissatisfaction

requires a certain level of education,

especially for non-principle issues,

to both express dissatisfaction

and not damage the harmony in the society relations,

it is not easy.

In such cases, using the method of words with words,

hitting the side is the ideal weapon.

b. Use an example to warn.

Compare two things that have a certain similarity to each other

to imply that the opponent’s words and actions are not satisfactory

but do not make the other party dissatisfied.

For example, the director of company A in a professional negotiation was attacked

by an employee of company B.

He angrily called the director of Company B and said,

“If you don’t guarantee me that you will dismiss this rude employee.

It means that you don’t have any intention

to sign a contract with my company”

After listening, the director of company B gently said:

“Dear Director, educating

or dismissing employees is a completely internal job of our company.

It did not relate to your company.

Just like we do not require your general manager

to have to dismiss the director

who has a conflict with my company’s employees

in order to sincerely sign a contract with us.”

The director of company A is as dumb as a mussel.

In this case, the director of company B made a very good

use of the use of examples to warn.

Although two companies A and B have a lot of disagreements,

they have a similar point, that is,

the handling of employees

or company directors is an internal matter of the company,

not related to the success of the company,

agree with the other party or not.

The director of company B takes this analogy as an example

to warn the other party

to make excessive and unreasonable demands,

expressing dissatisfaction with the unruly attitude

of the director of company A.

It should be made clear that:

Although the tone of expressing dissatisfaction

with this technique is also quite clear,

it is not the same as the direct warning style,

so it is called the technique of “taking an example of respect” rather

than “taking a wallet” example to warn”.


c. The right blow.

There are some girls who like to be angry with their boyfriend

to show that they have personality.

If this young woman is a pearl in the hands of her parents

or her brother’s proud sister,

it is not easy to tolerate others.

There are some boys who are in love,

for fear of offending their girlfriend

by saying something wrong, and offending the princess,

who hastily humbled themselves

and begged for forgiveness to express their loyalty

to their lover.

In fact, there is no need to do that.

A young lady with the surname Tu,

the girl of a director, fell in love with a guy surnamed Ly in the unit,

she always acted arrogant.

Mr. Ly comes from a farmer background.

After graduating from university,

he came to this department to work as an employee.

Once, Miss Tu came to Mr. Ly’s house to see the scene in Mr. Ly’s family,

and she was not satisfied, so she whispered into Mr. Ly’s ear.

After dinner,

Ms. Tu sent Mr. Ly’s sister to do one thing after another,

sometimes boiling water,

sometimes wiping her feet with a cloth.

He took the opportunity to smile and tell her:

“If you want to be a teacher,

you must first be a student.

Now you should practice hard so that

when you come to your husband house,

you also become teachers.”

Ms. Tu felt that in Mr. Li’s words there was a hint

that she had an excessive attitude,

so Mr. Ly used that statement to warn her

but to avoid direct conflict.

Even though the other party was a bit disgruntled at the time,

she would come to her senses later.


d. Funny reminder.

Humor is an antidote to socializing.

Sometimes using humor to express dissatisfaction is also a good method.

There is a story as follows:

In a restaurant,

a lady who likes to prune orders fried eggs.

She told the waiter:

“The white must be fully cooked,

but the yolk must be fully raw,

able to flow.

Don’t use too much oil, just a little salt, add a few peppers.

Must be fresh hen’s egg. ”

The waiter asked softly:

“May I ask, is that hen named Miss Tran suitable for you?

In this funny little story,

the waiter used humorous tricks

to remind the guest of many things.

The waiter showed displeasure

at the harsh requirements of the customer

but went along with the other person’s words,

proposing a ridiculously ridiculous problem

to remind her that the requirements of the customer,

she was excessive,


thereby expressing her displeasure with the guest.

In addition, for those with malice,

there is no need to “heal the broken shell and make the lips”,

but just talking about the snake is

enough to defend themselves.

Rude people desecrate,

we just need to hit the threat is enough,

should not make people fall into the dead, must be a person

who is both square and round to stand firm in the middle of life.


e. You don’t need to say it to make people understand

Everyone knows that the plot failed in the Three Kingdoms,

where Sima Phien led an army of 150,000 to the Western Citadel.

At that time, Zhuge Liang was in the Western Citadel,

with no generals on his side,

only a few mandarins and two and a half 1,000 soldiers.

In this perilous situation, Zhuge Liang decisively ordered

to hide all the flags,

widen the city gate, sent twenty soldiers pretending

to be hegemonic to sweep the road,

and then personally burned incense

to play the guitar on the face of the city.

When Sima Phien came down to the city,

he saw that there was an ambush

and withdrew his army.

In this case, Zhuge Liang had the courage to open the gate,

let him sweep the streets,

and play the piano on the face of the city,

creating a special situation that made the enemy mistakenly believe

that there was an ambush,

thus keeping the stronghold.

Using skillful situations without words

to make people understand,

even if they misunderstand the truth,

it is also a wonderful plan,

although risky,

but the effect is wonderful.

In communication activities,

sometimes it is not convenient to say it

and it is not necessary to say it,

but it is only necessary

to arrange a certain communication situation

that can say the whole meaning

and realize the intention of communication.

Using non-verbal communication situations in this case

is both appropriate and typical,

and has the effect of expressing more meaning than language.

Another way of arranging the situation,

when the other party talks wrongly,

does not directly express his dissatisfaction

but has to wait for later to choose

or arrange an appropriate situation,

repeat the same words of the other party and then

That corrects to make the opponent clearly see the intention.

It should be added that the social situation

is not always chosen and designed by us.

If the other party chooses and designs,

we must pay attention to the meaning of the social situation,

accurately interpret,

respond flexibly,

and prevent passive and mistakes.


3. Cleverly chasing down the legs

In the business world,

there are many examples showing that the people,

the gods who enlighten the enterprise often become the person

who hinders or hinders the progress of the company.

These people consider themselves

to be public gods, elders, high but useless,

complacent and do not seek progress,

but are good at pulling rafts and pulling wings,

deceiving and making money.

The capacity of the hooligans no longer kept pace

with the company’s development,

but became a stepping stone,

hindering the company’s progress.

The manager is heartbroken but can’t bear

to get rid of the feelings, has no courage to cut it off,

and has no good measures to solve the situation,

so what should be done?

Except for those who are unknowingly born apathetic,


in general,

most do not callously say that beating is fighting,

saying killing is killing old friends

who shared the same tribulations to build a career.

Although the harm has ended,

but because of a love word,

it is difficult not to dare to ignore the bad day,

but it is impossible to continue like that.

If the manager can use the technique of flanking,

he can not only take care of his emotions,

but also bring the company out of difficulties,

opening up a new opportunity.

Isn’t that happy then?

There are many side attack methods,

please give a few examples,

hope managers can refer.

*Make him a new room.

The distribution of the positions

of the rooms has a symbolic meaning of power,

especially a room for one person,

regardless of the position,

width or size,

or how it is arranged,

it is enough to show the position

and power of the person,

that in the company.

The old office has been in use for several years

or more, the form and meaning of power has been ingrained,

which room of the deputy director,

which of the director is familiar to everyone,

which is the right one.

How much power, where is the center of power,

everyone knows.

If only now he wanted to usurp power

from a certain person

who did not want to use tricks to adjust his position,

the most discreet method would be to arrange

for him to have a new office far

from the center of power.

Thus in this very natural and invisible situation,

the person gradually loses his inherent influence.

Waiting for his influence to wear off will not make him too heavy-handed

and will not produce any side effects or sequelae.

In fact, changing offices is the first step in the de-powering process.

From any angle, that measure is the most peaceful

and does not damage the dignity of the other party.

A little more intense,

take him out of the personal office,

into the large office with the staff working normally,

in other words, strengthening that department.

After losing his private office,

his bodyguards also disbanded.

There are a number of companies

that take the opportunity to reform and expand,

leaving the entire company

to a newly built large building,

the manager according to his intentions,

redistributes the rooms,

work to achieve his goal of regaining his power.

* Cut off the phone,

do not invite meetings,

cut off information.

It is said that the most powerful person in a company can be the secretary

because all information is communicated through her,

so she is the most informative person in the company.

If a secretary doesn’t like someone,

it can be very easy to let that person lose power.

She only had to cut off his sources of information

to put him in a state of extreme misery.

In today’s information age,

it can be said that information is the source of all power.

The more information a person has,

the more power he has.

So one of the ways to kill people

without a knife is

to cut off the source of information.

How to cut off the opponent’s information source?

For example, convening an important conference

when the other party is absent

or is on a business trip,

causing the opponent to lose the opportunity

to participate in the decisions,

or pretend not to send conference invitations

or send professional reports to the opponent.

* Promotion to a position that is actually demoted makes

both sides have no real power.

Outwardly a promotion, in fact depriving the opponent of power.

The administrative agencies put the ministers,

the director as consultants to decide to make them high but tasteless,

which is a clever trick to spy on spies.

This method has many advantages:

One is that it does not hurt the face of the opponent:

The second is that power is transferred in a peaceful and favorable way.

For example, putting the general director,

deputy general director:

the director as a senior advisor, no one can blame.

* Send the other party on a long-term business trip.

Invite the other party to go abroad to visit

and survey for a few months.

When he returned,

he discovered that the whole situation had changed,

his work had been taken over by someone else,

and his power was not much.

At that time, he explained that due to the urgent situation,

it was impossible not to have someone to handle it,

so he arranged a replacement,

even though he knew it,

he couldn’t complain in his heart!

If you continue to attack the flanks like that,

surely no one can stand it,

there is only a way to obediently ask for retirement.

To the incompetent,

to be honest,

hat’s already benevolent.

Do so in public

Both roads are beneficial and not demolish,

lose face,

and do not have to be kicked out of the chair

to enjoy retirement and old age,

so why is the flank attack not good?

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