Chapter 5: We get what we expect
We tend to get what we want in life.
The tennis players say
“My legs are shaking like a civet,
I won’t win”.
When he told himself that,
he was right.
But it’s not the legs that tremble,
but the player’s spirit that trembles.
It’s also not because of the black cat,
or your passing under the stairs.
If Mary said,
“People only come to see me when my house is in disarray,”
she will certainly see it repeat.
If Fred said he caught a cold several times a year,
I bet he would.
If Fred says “Whenever I have money,
I have to spend it”.
Fred will continue to clean his pockets forever.
Doctors say that patients tend to heal according
to their expectations rather than according to the diagnosis.
Dr. Carl Simonton,
working with cancer survivors in the United States,
concluded that patients’ healing consistently reflects their desire to heal.
“People always ignore me,
treat me badly,
take away from me”
and immediately realize that’s what life is for him.
“People are nice to me,” and they are treated well.
What does all this tell us?
It shows that you have control over what you think.
You decide your thoughts
and decide what you will reap.
Try to find someone who is truly happy.
It’s hard, man!
Try to find the person who lives the saddest life
but always expects a great life.
We get from life most of what we expect.
Law of Attraction
Have you ever thought about someone you haven’t seen in months
and that very morning he showed up at your door?
Or do you write to an old friend
after years of no correspondence
and receive a letter from him right away?
Or do you sing an old song in your head
and when you turn on the radio,
you hear the exact same song?
Have you ever decided to find a certain book
or record and found it lying there for a while?
Do you find yourself working
or living in the house you
once imagined you would have,
and wonder if it was only through your conscious effort
that you achieved that goal?
These events are grouped by many people
and named coincidences.
But there’s something better than that.
Your mind is a magnet and it attracts
to you what it thinks about.
When I first noticed this,
I thought “This is bullshit!
How can my mind be attractive,
born or manifest anything?”
But I think it’s important to delve deeper into the argument
that crazy people also contribute to this theory.
If the human mind could appeal to the real thing,
I wouldn’t be a fool for the rest of my life knowing nothing!
I went out and bought a few books about the mind,
some of them scientific, others metaphysical,
and then spiritual too, on how to get rich.
Amazingly, every book comes to the same conclusion
about the attractiveness of the human mind.
What a coincidence
I think! I bought a few more books and bought more.
I read about 200 books.
Books were written by different authors at different times
with different religious and philosophical beliefs.
They all say the same thing
“You attract what you think in your mind.
Your mind is a magnet”.
I’m starting to think there’s something here.
I used my mind as instructed in the book
and that’s when I was convinced!
Now I’m going to teach people
how to use the mind to make things better.
Listen to people who are living the right way
One of the first things I learned about the law of attraction
and the magic of the mind is
that all successful people have used these principles!
I thought about telling them about my latest discovery,
but was afraid they’d say “I’ve been using it for decades”.
I’ve also found that the most miserable people
I’ve ever met will argue that the principle can’t work our way.
I’d rather listen to the advice of happy people than those of whiners!
There are hundreds of things in books about the creative power of the mind,
but for brevity I’ll cite just a few.
In his best-selling book “Think and Grow Rich” Napoleon Hill wrote ”
our minds create magnetic fields
from the dominant thoughts we keep in our minds and because no one else.
Like anyone, these “magnets” will attract forces,
people or living circumstances towards us
in accordance with the nature of those thoughts.”
James Allen wrote in “When One Thinks” that “a man soon discovers
he is the master gardener of his soul,
the leader of his own life.
He too will soon see the laws of thought
and understand that with increasing precision,
mental and ideological factors work to shape your character,
your circumstances and your destiny”.
He added, “That situation is formed
from the thought that man has taken time to realize
In “The Magic of Faith”, Claude Bristol
also talks about the attractive power of the human mind. ”
Our fearful thoughts attract trouble to us just as positive
and good thoughts attract good results.
So regardless of the nature of the thought, it produces results.
It’s the same kind of effect.
As this drifts into people’s consciousness,
they begin to understand the great power they can use.
Then they say,
“It seems random, but it’s not random because of it.
It’s just the result of the meticulous work you’ve done.”
Explain more about the attractive power of the mind.
Bristol has said that since radio waves can easily pass through wood
and brick or hard steel,
we can also see the impulses of thought that way.
He asked, “If thought waves,
can be converted to higher vibrations,
why can’t they affect the molecules of solid bodies?”
Shakti Gawain, author of “Creative Visualization” also discusses this issue.
“Thoughts and emotions have their own magnetic energy
and can absorb energy of the same kind,” she said.
“This is the law of what you send into the universe,
and you get it back.
From a practical point of view,
this has that is,
we attract into our lives
what we think about most, believe most,
or expect most deeply, or imagine most vividly.”
Richard Bach wrote,
“We suck into our lives what we think in our heads”.
A thought cannot be “nothing”,
To think of it,
it must exist.
Must be something or something.
So it will have its energy.
A thought will follow the same rules
or principles as everything else in the world.
Maybe because viewed from this angle,
it is easy to confirm that the law of gravity is
as real and powerful as electricity or gravity.
I could go on and on,
but my goal is to make it a little clearer to the reader
that the mind-set can produce results for you.
I don’t expect you to accept those concepts blindly without experimenting.
I also want to emphasize that thinking is not a substitute for action.
Moreover, using your mind properly will make you achieve your goals faster
and easier than otherwise.
Your mind is a magnet.
Just keep thinking about what you want to have,
you will have it.
Think of your thoughts as an invisible cloud
that can fly out and bring achievements to you.
By controlling your thoughts,
you determine what you will achieve.
We attract what we fear
Since the thing or thing that we most like and fear most dominates our thoughts,
we will tend to attract those very things.
Do you ever ruin a new suit the first time you put it on?
Just when you think “I don’t want to dirty my beautiful outfit”,
the ink pen oozes blue ink on your pocket.
“I’ve been driving my car for 7 years and never scratched it.
As soon as I got the new tires,
people started sucking on my car,
hitting the sides or knocking over my car fly out of the way”.
In the previous section I talked about the woman
who had an accident 5 times in 4 years.
Eventually she realized that it was
because she was so scared
that she was drawing back to herself what she didn’t want.
If we say to ourselves,
“I don’t want “thing A” to happen,
we’re leaning toward “thing A.”
Our minds cannot move away from certain thoughts,
only toward there.
This explains why
when you were a kid
when you snuck into the kitchen,
grabbed a stack of cakes and sneaked out,
you got caught!
the father appeared out of nowhere.
Your most important thought is “I’ll just take some cake
and hope I won’t get caught, or I’ll die”,
And then you get caught!
You are invited to a party
or about to attend a special occasion,
you think “I hope I will not get sick and miss this opportunity”.
You are in pain and the good times are gone.
Is your mind real or not?
A magazine recently wrote about a New Yorker named Pete Torres
who has been stabbed 15 times since 1968.
Arguably this is not an accurate statistic.
Although Pete denies that he did anything to make people attack him,
he is helping people bring suffering to him.
He loves horror movies.
He kept thinking about slashing,
killing and looting. His mind was full of horror movies
and because he wanted to be “scared”
for once and didn’t understand
why the streets of New York were filled with such horror stories.
This principle also applies to poverty and ill health.
If we talk or read,
or think about “the bad”,
the subconscious will lead us there.
Successful people are always aiming for success.
The loser who tried to run away failed.
If there is a spiritual principle that can turn losers into winners,
it is the principle of “focus on what you want”.
It’s funny if you walk into the store
and say “I don’t want to buy milk,
and butter” but expect to go home satisfied.
Many people spend their
whole life complaining about
what they don’t have
and talking about what they don’t want.
This is a hopeless job.
We have to focus on what we don’t have.
Speaking of which,
let’s explore the “fear of loss” principle.
When we fear losing something,
we put ourselves in a position to lose it.
The same goes for a wife or husband,
girlfriend or furniture.
We often read in the newspapers about people
whose homes were robbed whether there were locks,
security systems, or dogs.
The same is true in relationships.
When we fear losing someone’s love or affection for us,
we are in immediate danger of losing it.
So the message here is
“Focus and be satisfied with what you have.
Don’t think about losing what you have”.
Focus on what you have.
Sticking to the things you fear will make them happen.
The principle of attraction to what we fear really works.
This means that we must accept challenges to confront
and improve ourselves.
How can we grow if we never confront what we fear?
When it comes to fear of loss,
the law of the universe wants us to stand on our own two feet.
If we think losing something will ruin our lives
and keep thinking like that,
maybe the universe will prove that you can live without it!
If you think you can’t live without a Porsche 911,
the universe will give you the experience of life without a Porsche 911.
If your attitude is “I like my car but don’t have it either. it’s okay.”,
you’ll just depend on it for as long as you want.
Circumstances will help us learn this
and that and make us stronger.
We should be content with
what we have right now and live now.
Fear of loss is not living in the present
but living in the future.
When we face our fears, they disappear
An interesting rule is that often
when we are brave enough to face a problem,
it disappears so we don’t have to deal with it anymore.
As soon as we have the courage to make a difficult phone call,
confront an opposite person,
or make sacrifices for something,
we see no need for it.
We struggled for weeks
before we told the secretary she had to find another job
and when she did,
she said she was already planning to quit!
Of course that’s not always the case
and sometimes we have to suck on soap!
Similarly, when we decide to face our fear,
There is no doubt that you have done things
that at first you thought were very difficult.
When you jump in, it’s only half of what you expected.
Especially with telling the truth
and paying the price for mistakes and crimes.
Who knows how much more painful it is to think about it than to do it.
The power of words
“You say one thing and it turns into three”
You get what you say.
Since our thoughts influence our circumstances,
so do our words.
The words we say build our attitudes
and determine what we get and experience.
When we are serious about our determination to be happy,
we must watch our mouth.
We decide to speak well of ourselves
and avoid putting ourselves down.
It’s not about pretending to be perfect,
but it’s part of avoiding complaining about yourself,
and friends, family,
or anyone else if you want to be happy.
A guy who came to see me recently said,
“I’m tired of being sad.
I don’t want to be a burden to my family anymore.
I want to be happy!
What should I do?”
I replied, “The first thing to do is just open your mouth
and say something nice.
You will change and both you
and your family will enjoy it!”
I met him a week later
and he still said “I want to be happy.
I don’t feel happy.
What should I do?”
I replied, “I gave you the best advice last week”.
He said, “I’m still not happy.”
I replied, “I know.
Because you’re not serious.
As long as you’re serious about this, you’ll be happy.”
I don’t know if the guy got the message.
He needs to know that only he can control his mouth.
At some stage he needs to take responsibility for his thoughts.
He needs to take the thought he has in mind seriously.
This is very simple.
When someone really feels that they have suffered enough,
they change their attitude.
They change the way they talk.
It has to be principled,
requires effort but is very simple.
Controlling your thoughts
and words will force you to be different from others.
What is great is different from everything else.
Many people have the attitude of “I would do anything to be happy
as long as I don’t have to change anything about myself”
that alone is not a committed attitude to progress!
Mental health issues are always complicated.
Patients go to doctors
and psychologists to ask how they are doing.
So they have
love to look at
– their “status”.
Now there was a monster,
almost with a life of its own.
– their “disease”.
The patient may have experienced great pain
and suffering up until this point.
This person is truly worthy of our love and sympathy.
But the best thing we can do
for him is to help him realize his responsibilities.
Difficulties still exist.
What does this guy have to do to be happy tomorrow?
Words have the power to influence our personal power.
The words we utter are always filtered into our subconscious
and become part of our personality.
It tells others exactly how serious we are
and how determined we are to achieve good results.
There are words that refer in general to our progress.
Every time we use the word “trying,”
we show that we are out of control.
If you “try” and do it,
“try” and arrive on time,
“try” and are happy,
you think you can and can’t.
Substituting “will” for “trying” sounds more challenging
and it will give you better results.
It sounds detailed,
but it is important in shaping
how we and others perceive us.
Using the word “I can’t” weakens your ability.
It’s better to say “I won’t” instead of “I can’t”.
if you say “I won’t see you tomorrow”,
other people will notice
that you have the ability to decide and control.
“I’m not going to learn to swim” means you’re not ready for this.
You can if you really,
really want to learn!
Words affect our memory
Many people put a lot of effort into telling others they have a very bad memory.
And then how is their memory?
They have what they want.
Our words affect our energy.
When it comes to memory,
researchers tell us we never really forget anything.
All information is in our heads.
The problem is how to recall them.
This explains why you “forget” someone’s name
but remember it the next day.
The name does not leave our head and return 24 hours later.
It stayed where it was,
but we didn’t “remember” it at first.
Words influence our subconscious
and the subconscious is inextricably linked with our memory.
If you keep programming your subconscious mind
to say “I remember to scream everything,”
your recall will improve rapidly.
Your subconscious will tend to remember
all the numbers and names
and remember more and more.
An affirmation is a positive thought
that you repeat to yourself.
Using affirmations will allow you to select good thoughts
and plant them in your subconscious
so that you feel happier
and more productive.
Let’s assume you are driving on the freeway
and you have a severe headache.
This is your chance to link the power of words
with the power of thoughts.
You repeat to yourself “My head feels great!”
or “My head is relaxed and comfortable!”
When you start talking like that,
surely a voice will say,
“You lie like Cuoi.
You’re in terrible pain!”
However, if you keep affirming
what you want, the thought
that you are well will take root in your subconscious
and you will start to feel good
and half an hour later the idea may appear in your head
think “I had a headache
for a while but it’s gone”.
Is that an assertion, or is it just a coincidence?
You can use affirmations to get the same results in other situations.
For example when on a tennis court you should say,
“I’m going to play great”.
In a certain relationship must say “Everyone loves and respects me
and I also love and respect them”.
For your mental attitude say,
“Every day I get better,
better and better”.
To be prosperous, you say:
“I feel happy and rich”.
Opportunities will open up endlessly.
Affirmation is not without effort.
It means you have conditioned your mind on what you want.
If you choose to make it a part of your life,
you will find it a very simple and effective tool.
Actually it’s too simple.
It’s not sophisticated,
it’s not complicated,
but if you’re a complicated person you’ll think
“I don’t use that third cent!”
As a result,
after a year,
you’re still confusing,
you’re getting headaches,
and you’re still not using your brain to its fullest.
Obviously, everyone has a choice.
There are some rules to remember
when using affirmations.
First of all, your mind is always on what you think.
So if you choose the affirmation
as “I won’t argue with my husband”,
or “I’m not sick”,
you won’t be very excited about the results!
Your mind also turns to what you say you don’t want to do.
If you think about it,
you’ve probably heard of people
who spend their lives talking about something
they don’t want and then are surprised to get it about that.
I recall a few teachers who used to make me
and other students write sentences like “I won’t talk in class”,
and “I won’t be late”…
I wonder if they realized it at all will unintentionally stimulate
those actions from students or not.
And in my class, the students actually do these things!
The second rule for keeping affirmations in mind is
that they will have more impact
if you say them out loud or put them on paper.
If you just think, you will wander to other thoughts such as:
“What should I buy for lunch?”
or “Where are the kids?”
Writing or speaking them out keeps your mind from going astray.
You also use other senses
so the effect will definitely increase.
The third thing to remember about affirmations is
that it’s important to repeat them over and over.
If you want to re-architect a trust you’ve had for twenty years,
it takes more persistence.
Don’t expect to change your life just
by saying “I’m really happy!” six times.
Words influence our thoughts and feelings.
Our thoughts influence what we say and think.
This is an equilateral triangle.
If we feel uncomfortable,
it’s easier to change what we say than we think and feel
– it’s easiest to start controlling what we say first.
what we say will positively affect what we think and feel.
We will break this triangle and things will get better.