Art of Negotiation
Chapter 08. The Impact of Emotions on Negotiation
No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. – Regina Brett
Emotions are a key element in negotiation.
Emotions, especially longing,
fear, or anger,
can work for
or against you in the negotiation process.
The more you avoid letting emotions get into the negotiation process,
the more likely you are to win over the other party.
Conversely, the more emotional you are,
the weaker your negotiating power.
Emotions distort judgments.
When dominated by them,
you lose the ability to think clearly
and make the right decisions.
Any action to stay calm in negotiations will help you get a better deal.
How much do you want that?
The strongest emotion in negotiation is desire.
The more you want to own a product or service,
or the more you want to sell something,
the more you lose your bargaining power.
If you want something so intensely
that you can feel it yourself,
it’s easy to put any price on it,
and that feeling will probably backfire on you.
Remember the coolness advantage introduced in the previous chapter?
Ask yourself a few questions.
What if you can’t buy the product?
What is the worst that can happen
if you cannot succeed in this negotiation or sale?
If you don’t get it,
what will you do?
Be prepared in advance
that you will not be able to achieve your desired goal.
The calmer and mentally prepared for the possibility
of failure in negotiations,
regardless of whether you are a buyer or a seller,
the more likely you are to consider
and make the right decision.
Greed is another emotion that has a significant effect on your mind.
Thinking that you will get something for no purpose,
or buy something for a much lower cost
or price than you imagined can distort your feelings,
and makes it hard to think clearly.
That thinking can affect your ability to make rational decisions.
Fear is the next dangerous emotion.
The more you worry about the outcome,
the more anxious you are to take actions
that could negatively affect you.
That’s why being calm in the process of bidding
or reaching a certain result in a negotiation
is a great way to calm your emotions.
The last emotion that can cause you to make bad decisions is anger.
Talented negotiators often use the fear
or anger of others to gain their advantage
and get the other side to make decisions
that are detrimental to their own.
Whenever you feel like you’re being dominated
by emotions in a negotiation,
take a moment stop.
Take a moment to rest,
if the negotiation drags on,
ask for permission to go for a walk
or have a cup of coffee to calm your mind.
If the negotiation is not too urgent,
you can make an appointment
with the other party to come back after lunch
or negotiate another day.
Forcing yourself to make important decisions
or agree to conditions the other person offers
when you are too stressed,
will put you at a disadvantage.
Always ask yourself,
“What will happen?”
What if the deal fails or falls apart?
A successful entrepreneur who guided me in the early stages
of my startup once said something
that I will probably never forget.
Whenever I got too excited about a potential deal,
he would remind me:
“Brian, deals are like bus routes.
There are always other trips coming.
Don’t get too excited
or worry about not catching this one.
If things don’t go well, forget it.
The next one is coming soon.”
Another person once told me,
“Sometimes the best deals are the ones you never step into.”
Practice letting go
The key to emotional control is to be mentally prepared.
Know how to let go.
When entering a negotiation,
take a deep breath.
Carefully monitor your emotions and keep yourself calm.
Don’t let yourself get caught up in emotions
or identify too strongly with any deal.
The ability to stay calm and let go completely
is the key to staying strong.
Remember that the person
who is more easily swayed
by emotions when aiming
for a goal is the one with the least advantage.
Great salespeople are relationship builders who provide value
and help their customers win. — Jeffrey Gitomer