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Brian Tracy! Art of Negotiation! The Impact of Emotions on Negotiation

Art of Negotiation

Chapter 08. The Impact of Emotions on Negotiation

No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. – Regina Brett

Emotions are a key element in negotiation.

Emotions, especially longing,


fear, or anger,

can work for

or against you in the negotiation process.

The more you avoid letting emotions get into the negotiation process,

the more likely you are to win over the other party.

Conversely, the more emotional you are,

the weaker your negotiating power.

Emotions distort judgments.

When dominated by them,

you lose the ability to think clearly

and make the right decisions.

Any action to stay calm in negotiations will help you get a better deal.


How much do you want that?

The strongest emotion in negotiation is desire.

The more you want to own a product or service,

or the more you want to sell something,

the more you lose your bargaining power.

If you want something so intensely

that you can feel it yourself,

it’s easy to put any price on it,

and that feeling will probably backfire on you.

Remember the coolness advantage introduced in the previous chapter?

Ask yourself a few questions.

What if you can’t buy the product?

What is the worst that can happen

if you cannot succeed in this negotiation or sale?

If you don’t get it,

what will you do?

Be prepared in advance

that you will not be able to achieve your desired goal.

The calmer and mentally prepared for the possibility

of failure in negotiations,

regardless of whether you are a buyer or a seller,

the more likely you are to consider

and make the right decision.


Emotional control

Greed is another emotion that has a significant effect on your mind.

Thinking that you will get something for no purpose,

or buy something for a much lower cost

or price than you imagined can distort your feelings,

and makes it hard to think clearly.

That thinking can affect your ability to make rational decisions.

Fear is the next dangerous emotion.

The more you worry about the outcome,

the more anxious you are to take actions

that could negatively affect you.

That’s why being calm in the process of bidding

or reaching a certain result in a negotiation

is a great way to calm your emotions.

The last emotion that can cause you to make bad decisions is anger.

Talented negotiators often use the fear

or anger of others to gain their advantage

and get the other side to make decisions

that are detrimental to their own.


Stay calm

Whenever you feel like you’re being dominated

by emotions in a negotiation,

take a moment stop.

Take a moment to rest,

if the negotiation drags on,

ask for permission to go for a walk

or have a cup of coffee to calm your mind.

If the negotiation is not too urgent,

you can make an appointment

with the other party to come back after lunch

or negotiate another day.

Forcing yourself to make important decisions

or agree to conditions the other person offers

when you are too stressed,

will put you at a disadvantage.

Always ask yourself,

“What will happen?”

What if the deal fails or falls apart?

A successful entrepreneur who guided me in the early stages

of my startup once said something

that I will probably never forget.

Whenever I got too excited about a potential deal,

he would remind me:

“Brian, deals are like bus routes.

There are always other trips coming.

Don’t get too excited

or worry about not catching this one.

If things don’t go well, forget it.

The next one is coming soon.”

Another person once told me,

“Sometimes the best deals are the ones you never step into.”


Practice letting go

The key to emotional control is to be mentally prepared.

Know how to let go.

When entering a negotiation,

take a deep breath.

Carefully monitor your emotions and keep yourself calm.

Don’t let yourself get caught up in emotions

or identify too strongly with any deal.

The ability to stay calm and let go completely

is the key to staying strong.

Remember that the person

who is more easily swayed

by emotions when aiming

for a goal is the one with the least advantage.

Great salespeople are relationship builders who provide value

and help their customers win. — Jeffrey Gitomer

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