Chapter 1: How to support others with pleasure?
In your communication daily with people,
when you saw an opportunity to help people,
you immediately rushed over like a hungry squirrel,
grabbing the last chestnut on the ground.
Because human love is wealth,
the most basic purpose of communication is
to make human friendships and have predestined relationships.
You have to love humanity like you love money to be able
to help yourself when you have an opportunity.
Only when people owe you a little bit of humanity,
it’s very easy to ask for help,
sometimes without even opening your mouth.
Being a human being like that is mostly
due to being good at making friends,
willing to help others.
The art of grace is the most basic strategy
and collection in the science of human relations,
the most effective and satisfactory technique
to take advantage of the benefits of social relations.
When helping people must master the following basic rules:
1. When you please don’t say it openly
to make the other person lose face,
even more should not show off helping people to everyone.
2. Please don’t do too much at once
to avoid making the other person feel indebted,
even so shame leads to severing the relationship.
3. As a leader,
you have to make your subordinates fall in love with you,
and make them volunteer for you.
4. Support others must choose the object.
People are greedy like hungry tigers,
if we give them a favor,
not sure they won’t bite back.
I suggest you limit you become a teacher as good person,
first you are success then you can do,.
Some of the following stories illustrate the plan of mercy:
If you want someone to love you,
you must first love someone.
1. They have the kindness to help people achieve their goals,
only then can they accumulate a debt of humanity.
That is like saving money,
so they can even leave a good thing for their descendants,
which is called the grace of the ancestors.
The law of cause and effect says,
if you can help others through trouble,
later when you need it,
you will have someone else to help
For a carefree romantic,
once confiding can help him become a serious and confident person,
capable after using a horse on the edge of the abyss
to become a hero galloping on the steppe.
In ordinary life,
a trusting look at a righteous act can be a source
of impetus for the cause.
A round of applause,
a new initiative inadvertently promotes an innovative idea that,
although it costs money,
can still buy people’s hearts.
In fact, on the road of life,
everyone needs help and must help others.
Helping others is virtuous.
There is nothing more tolerant
and assertive than helping others.
A word of comfort should not be taken lightly
for a person who is at a loss,
a gentle pat on the shoulder for someone about to fall,
a little sincere trust for a hopeless person.
It may not be for me to lose anything,
but for people in distress,
it is a situation,
support and consolation.
On the contrary,
refusing to help others is valuing one’s own small victory.
The eyes of such people will be dull and emotionless,
their hearts always rippling with dark thoughts.
The difficulties of others see them as their benefit,
the failures of others see them as something
for them to gossip about.
Others raised their hands for help,
they coldly brushed them away.
Other people suffer,
they shake their thighs,
not moving at all.
As for the middle of the road,
when they meet with grievances,
they never draw their swords to support them,
seeing that death can’t be saved,
they also give full reasons to justify their behavior.
Selfishly, this type of person
who plucks a hair to benefit the world also definitely does not do it.
During the Warring States period,
there was a small country called Zhongshan.
Once, the King of Trung Son held a banquet
for famous celebrities in the country, unfortunately,
just as he ran out of goat meat soup,
there was not enough for everyone to have a share.
There was a person who couldn’t eat goat meat soup named Sima Tu Ky.
He held hatred in his heart,
so he went to Chu country to advise King Chu Conquer Zhongshan.
The State of Chu is a great power,
conquering Trung Son is as easy as turning one’s hand.
Trung Son country was razed,
King Trung Son fled to another country.
When the king fled, he saw two men carrying weapons
with his bodyguard and asked,
“What are you two doing?”
The two replied,
“Once upon a time, there was a man
who was given a bowl of rice by his master,
so he didn’t starve to death, we are his children.
When our father was about to die,
if Trung Son was in trouble,
we would have to die and make every effort,
even at the cost of your life,
to support the king
to repay the deep gratitude.”
After listening,
King Trung Son lamented:
“Resentment for losing the agricultural period will hurt the hearts of Ta people
because of a bowl of goat meat and lose the country!”.
Causing resentment is not based on depth or depth,
but rather in hurting people’s hearts or not.
Helping people is not about more or less
but at the right time what people need.
King Trung Son lost his country
because of a bowl of goat meat,
but because of a bowl of steamy rice,
he was protected by two brave warriors.
This story speaks of the miracle of human relationships that give grace,
help others or offend others, not in more or less,
but in human love.
************
2. Help people not to lose face
A friend told a story about his father’s understanding of humanity and the world.
At that time, the ancestors were very poor.
One day in heavy snow,
he went to the rich man in the village to borrow money,
fortunately that day the rich man was happy,
so he immediately lent him two white silver coins,
and said,
“Take it and spend it, don’t pay it back!”.
The old man hurriedly put the money in his pocket and ran home,
the rich man called after him:
“No need to pay!”.
Early the next morning,
the rich household opened the door
and saw that someone had swept all the snow
and swept the snow on the roof.
The rich man sent someone
to inquire about it,
knowing that it was the old man
who swept the snow,
so he thought that by giving people silver coins,
people would naturally reciprocate,
even though people were not very willing to do so.
That is the whole quintessence of the art of opening a love account.
Everyone is doing their best
to protect face even if they have to do things
that are out of the ordinary.
Once you know that people value face,
you must be very careful not to make the other person awkward in public,
and always remember not to do anything that makes others lose face.
Let’s forever inculcate a physical reaction in our hearts:
An action inevitably leads to an equivalent reaction
as long as we have a mind,
as long as we always pay attention
to saving face for others,
we will achieve it represented by the sky and by the sea.
So when helping people,
you need to pay attention to the following things:
One is not to make the person being helped feel indebted to us.
Secondly, acting in a completely natural way makes people not feel it right away,
but gradually, gradually understand our love more and more.
Doing so is ideal.
Third, when helping others,
you should be happy,
and not show any unwillingness.
If when we help others but reluctantly,
in our heart think that this is for people to do.
If the other party has no reaction to our help,
but we think that we help people in such difficulty,
but the person who does not appreciate it, is ignorant.
Such an attitude should not only not be expressed,
but should not even be thought of in the heart.
If the other party is someone who thinks of others,
the good thing we bring
to them is that we can’t be like an arrow shot
without returning,
the opponent will definitely find a way to repay.
For such grateful people we should often help them.
In short, people in the world interact
with each other,
we help people,
people help us.
But we also can’t openly tell each other:
“Is there something wrong?”,
“Help me once, I will help you back”,
ignoring feelings in communication makes people feel boring
in a love relationship,
party will not be sustainable.
You have to act as if there’s no meaning
to it so that people don’t think
“Being friends with this person won’t do you any good,
you’ll be kicked out.”
**
3. Thirst for cold water for coal,
thirsty for water is a special case of grace.
When people are in dire need of help,
it is to enjoy the bare minimum.
We always have some need,
some urgent, some not urgent.
When we are in an urgent situation
and get help from someone,
we are deeply grateful,
and never forget it even for a lifetime.
If you’re about to starve to death,
it’s better to be given a potato
than a mountain of gold when you’re rich.
People who have a certain hobby
and meet someone who sympathizes
with us will be very excited and happy for the rest of their lives.
Two people who are compatible can make friends.
Therefore, in order to win people’s hearts,
we have to find out their inner self.
Before the Three Kingdoms competed for dominance,
Chu Du was still reluctant. He worked as an official under Yuan Shu,
and Yuan Shu made the district chief
Cu Sao is small, just an official in a small district.
At that time, there was a famine in Cu Sao district,
both crop failure and chaos.
The food problem is getting worse.
The people of Co Sao had to eat bark,
roots,
grass,
starved to death, and the soldiers were also starving
and no longer able to fight.
As a father and mother, Chu Du saw the tragic situation
but did not know how to solve it.
Someone said that there is a rich person
who does good deeds nearby,
Lu Tuc, full of rice, advised Chu Du to borrow his food.
Chu Du went to Lu Tuc’s house.
After chatting and asking, Chu Du said directly:
“No secret, old brother,
I came to visit this time to ask for a loan from Lu Tuc
to see that Chu Du was handsome and handsome,
obviously a talented man,
in the future everything will happen.
After making a big career,
it was not just a small mandarin in Cu Sao district
who laughed and said:
“It’s a small matter,
I agree immediately.”
Lu Tuc personally took Chu Du to see the food stores.
At that time, in Lu Tuc’s house,
there were 2 food warehouses,
each with 3,000 drawers.
Lu Tuc said:
“There is no need to borrow anything,
I will give you a storehouse. ”
After listening, Chu Du was dumbfounded by Lu Tuc’s generous heart.
It should be known that in a famine, food is life.
Lu Tuc’s actions made Zhou Du deeply appreciated,
the two became friends. Later, Chu Du promoted,
became a general of the Ngo state,
remembered Lu Tuc’s kindness
and recommended Lu Tuc to Ton Quyen.
Therefore, Lu Tuc has the opportunity
to make a career.
For those who give coal in the snow season,
the person who is helped always holds a special affection.
For people who are in a difficult situation,
it is not enough just to show sympathy,
but to take specific actions
to help people overcome the tribulation.
That’s how people appreciate it,
from which friendship grows.
There are a few interesting things about this method:
1. People who drink water are full and then often leave the well,
so we have to control it properly
so that he still has a little thirst and needs to rely on me.
Once you no longer have the heart to rely on me,
you may not respect me anymore.
2. The boss stimulates the subordinates
but does not satisfy their desires completely,
but should give them a few drops
to make them work hard and devoted.
3. For people who do not show too much affection,
making the other person self-deprecating
or disgusted with us,
because one is a man
who cannot be reciprocated,
the other is feeling that he is inferior and loser.
