Chapter 3: Self worth
I think self-discovery is the greatest achievement in life,
because once you discover yourself and accept what you are,
then you can fulfil your true potential and be happy. ― Marco Pierre White
I assume you are in charge of taking care of a 3 month old baby boy.
When it’s time to eat,
do you feed your baby without being urged?
Of course you will do it voluntarily.
You won’t say
“Hey baby, if you’re not smart and cute,
don’t sit up straight
and make me laugh by babbling A, B, C I won’t feed you!”
You feed your baby
because he deserves it.
Babies must be loved,
cared for and cuddled.
Baby is treated like
that because he is like you,
he is a human being an entity of the universe.
You also deserve it.
Right from birth and even now.
Many people think that they have to be smart,
handsome or nimble,
well-paid, etc to deserve love and respect.
When you love yourself,
you automatically attract feelings of love for others around you. ― Rhonda Byrne
You deserve to be loved
and respected just for who you are
It’s rare that we know how to focus on our true beauty and inner strength.
Do you remember the movies “Boys and Girls”?
When a man and a woman struggle with many difficulties,
You hope and pray that everything will go smoothly.
He went to the army,
she left,
he went back,
she went, he found her,
her brother told him to get out,
she also told him to go away,
and you just hope they will live happily after that,
they will get married and go
for a walk in the sunset when the movie closes.
You wipe your tears,
squeeze a bag of popcorn in your hand,
and walk out of the movie theater.
We cry when we watch those movies
because deep down in our souls we care,
we love,
we hurt.
There is this inner core in all of us and it is beautiful.
Depending on how hurt we are,
we will show our deepest feelings, but we all do.
When we read articles about global misery,
we all feel pain for the people there.
Everyone thinks differently about the best way to help them,
all of them care.
If you have the ability to love, love yourself first. ― Charles Bukowski
We are like that.
You have to admit that you have these qualities,
the ability to love and empathize,
to share.
You are human. Acknowledge your worth
and always remind yourself that you deserve to be treated well.
The story of RAPUNZEL
Like all myths, this one has a deep meaning to it.
It’s a story about self-respect.
Rapunzel is a young woman imprisoned in a castle
by a witch who constantly tells her she is ugly.
One day, a prince passed by
and told Rapunzel about her beauty.
She let her blonde braid down
for him to climb up to save her.
No castle and no witch could keep her in prison,
except in her heart that she believed she was evil.
When she found out she was beautiful through the prince’s gaze,
she knew she could be free.
We need to recognize the witches inside that prevent us from being free.
Self-image and subconscious mind
Our subconscious behaviors
and programs are intertwined with our self-esteem.
For example, when we don’t feel good,
we often blame ourselves.
The manifestations can be drunkenness,
accidents,
illness,
drugs
It is not necessarily a subconscious action.
Simply treating ourselves will automatically reflect our self-love at that moment.
There is also evidence that people
who are involved in a car accident often feel unhappy
and see the accident in part as punishment.
The most important thing is to try to think positively.
That way we will be happy people.
Behaviors stemming from bad thoughts about yourself
Each of us must continually maintain a positive
and healthy image of ourselves.
The following signs show that we need to improve our self-image:
-Jealousy
-Talking badly about yourself
-Complex of guilt
-Can’t praise anyone
-Don’t know how to accept compliments
-Doesn’t care about his needs
-Don’t say what we want
-Rejecting enjoyment unnecessarily
-Can’t show affection
-Unable to receive and enjoy love
-Criticize others
-Compare yourself to others
– Poor health
Change is hard to do.
Negative thoughts about yourself tend to be persistent.
As we begin to take this image
-improvement action,
there is a tendency to reveal old patterns of guilt,
self-incrimination,
or self-denigration.
Here are a few suggestions to help you change the way you feel about yourself:
-Accept compliments-always say thank you
or something like that
-Praise – one of the easiest ways to feel good is
to recognize the beauty in others
-Always think well of yourself.
-Praise yourself – when you do something,
give yourself a pat on the back.
Appreciate your worth.
-Distinguish your behavior from yourself,
remember that your behavior has nothing to do with your self-worth.
If you do something stupid,
like ramming your car into someone else’s car,
that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.
You just made a mistake.
(Learn to like people who make mistakes,
hate only mistakes)
– Take good care of your body,
You only have one body,
what do you do?
whatever affects it.
Exercise and take good care of it.
-Let people know how you want to be treated,
especially through the way you treat yourself and them.
No one wants to be insulted by others!
– Relationships with good people.
-Try to have fun without feeling guilty use affirmation
-Read books that enrich your ideas and enthusiasm
-Always imagine your future image,
not your present image.
That way you’ll be more focused on what’s important.
Love your neighbor as yourself
Loving your neighbor as yourself also means loving yourself,
not loving them but hating yourself.
I do not advise you to sacrifice yourself and suffer.
What I mean here is that we have to balance our needs with theirs,
we have to respect both sides.
Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. —Veronica A. Shoffstall
Fake modesty
Perhaps you know people who make others compliment them by using paradox.
They say, “I am terrible at the piano!”
So you’ll say, “I think you’re playing really well.”
They said, “No way. I made a lot of mistakes.”
You say, “I feel great.”
They say: “I’m just complimenting”
You say, “I’m telling the truth.
You are great.”
They said again: “Thank you…But I am so bad”
It’s easy to get angry, isn’t it?
We have a responsibility to put an end
to this ridiculous talk as quickly as possible
and talk about something better
Excellent people don’t play this game,
They don’t take compliments,
but gracefully accept compliments from others.
Health
Scientific experiments show
that people can be killed by sadness faster than deadly poison.
Human blood samples were subjected to extreme fear or anger
when injected into guinea pigs,
causing them to die in less than two minutes.
Imagine what this amount of blood would do in your own body.
Your thoughts will affect your chemistry every second.
Your whole body will be shocked
when you are walking on the road
when a truck brakes suddenly 2 meters ahead of you.
Your mind will create an immediate response to your body.
It is the poison created by fear,
anger or stress that will kill you.
You can’t be scared or frustrated and feel healthy.
Not unlikely, but impossible.
Simply put, your health is a reflection of your mind.
Sickness is also caused by unresolved conflicts inside
that have come to manifest on the outside.
It is a wonderful thing that it is our subconscious that shapes our health.
Remember the day when you felt sick
when you didn’t want to go to school?
Fear also gives you a headache?
Have you ever known someone
who suddenly had a sore throat
before they were about to give an important speech?
It’s the mind-body connection that causes our subconscious
to do what we want to avoid.
Realizing this is that we’re half-way ready to do something about it.
It is our expectations
and belief systems that make us sick.
If your brother-in-law says,
“I’ve got a bad cold, you’ll probably get it too
and have to stay home for two weeks.”
So we become susceptible to this disease.
We get sick because we think we will.
Sometimes we get a disease
because we think our parents have it,
so we can’t avoid it.
It’s the pattern or program in our brain that makes us healthy or sick.
Some people say, “I never get sick” and really never get sick.
Some people say “I get a cold twenty times a year” and it is true.
Not a coincidence at all.
When we were young we very quickly understood that when we were sick,
we would be noticed by many people.
Some adults are still this way,
When we are sick we are cared for by friends and relatives,
we feel feel loved and protected.
Many people are constantly sick,
falling down the stairs
or breaking their legs when no one notices and cares.
However, the truth is that people who feel loved
and safe are less likely to get sick
and have accidents than those who feel alone and alone.
Unexpressed emotions affect our health.
The classic symptom is “Don’t worry about me.
I don’t matter”
or “I’m used to not being cared for or loved at all”.
“I will sit there with a smile and feel lonely inside.”
In order to stay healthy and energetic,
we should maintain positive emotions
and show them outwardly.
The most important thing is to believe
that we DESERVE to be healthy.
If we keep feeling
“I am not a good person” or “I did bad things”
or “I deserve to be punished” then we often suffer from illness,
sometimes for the rest of their lives.
If we don’t live the life we want to live,
the dominant thought “I wish I were dead” pops up in our minds.
The body is the slave of the spirit,
they will manifest out what we want.
First of all, disease.
Next will be death.
I don’t use the passage above to explain health.
I just want to emphasize the role of the spiritual life.
If we take a banana tree to Antarctica,
dig a hole to plant it,
and ten years later bring the basket back to harvest,
how many bananas do you think I will get?
You would say not much.
Because it is not a good environment to grow bananas.
Then your thoughts
and emotions will control your physical environment.
It is you who decide to create a healthy house or a sick grave
Health is your property,
and having health is having energy and vitality.
You wake up every morning and have the right to believe
that your body is healthy, not just “fine”.
Everyone thinks that being healthy is the absence of signs of disease.
If you look at the physical-mental relationship again,
it is clear that your mood affects your health.
Our subconscious mind constantly controls the functioning
of our health mechanisms.
If you cut your finger,
what will heal the new cells to fill it?
Why is it that if a nail is lost,
another will grow in the place
where it was lost and not somewhere else?
There must be something driving these.
But don’t believe that our bodies have miracles!
The mind is the architect of the body
and the body is the reflection of the mind.
If fear or anger overpowers you,
your body will reflect that.
Mental ‘sickness’ becomes physical ‘sickness’
Conclude
Think you have happiness and health.
Imagine that you are healthy.
Affirm that you deserve to be healthy
and be gentle with yourself.
Accept and love yourself right now
and assume you’ve lived the best you know how.
Pain
We’re talking about health,
let’s talk about pain a little bit.
Suppose you meet John Brown
when he comes out of the dentist’s office an hour later and says,
“Isn’t it nice to have a little pain?”
John might think you’re a little crazy.
When you’ve just burned your finger on the stove,
it’s hard to think pain is any good.
Suppose you never feel pain.
You accidentally rest your arm on a hot steel plate
for twenty minutes
and then find your arm is now just a charred stick of coal.
If you don’t feel any pain,
maybe you go home from the workshop
and bend down to put on your sandals,
and you think to yourself,
“Oh my god! Where’s half of my foot.
It must have been broken somewhere.
Did I have an injury?
clamped in the elevator door
or did the neighbor Doberman handle it?”
I must have looked weird since this afternoon.”
Physical pain has its worth.
It is feedback that constantly tells us what to do and what not to do.
There’s nothing to embarrass your loved one
over a romantic candlelit dinner like telling him you can’t have dessert
because you’ve bitten off your tongue.
(Of course you can only explain by gesturing)
When we eat too much, don’t get enough sleep,
or some part of our body malfunctions and needs rest,
our wonderful automatic alarm system will let us know.
Emotional distress follows the same pattern.
If we are hurt emotionally,
it will send a message to us that it is time to look at things differently.
If we feel hurt,
let down by someone, the message will be
“Love the people who appear in your life unconditionally.
Accept them for who they are and what they are.
what they give you without judgment.”
Or don’t let the actions of others destroy your own self-esteem.”
If your house is on fire or your car is stolen,
you will be upset.
This is very normal in humans.
If you think you’ve learned something,
you’ll soon realize that you can still be happy without these things.
Emotions will help you re-evaluate your priorities.
I’m not saying we don’t need a house or a car,
but that we need to know how to learn
from such experiences
and adjust our values
so that life’s problems cause the least amount of suffering for you.
I knew that if I failed I wouldn’t regret that,
but I knew the one thing I might regret is not trying. — Jeff Bezos(founder Amazon)
Conclude
Pain makes you change.
It prompts us to see things differently.
When it comes to physical as well as emotional pain,
if we continue to do stupid things, we will continue to suffer.
We can say “It shouldn’t hurt.
I don’t want to hurt”, but it still hurts.
Some people suffer like this 24 hours a day,
365 days a year.
They never realized it was time to take their hands off the stove.
We become part of everyday life
We are very easily influenced by the people around us.
Have you ever known someone who went abroad
and came back with a different voice?
Or the five-year-old boys who go to school innocently,
carefree and soon, by playing with bad people,
they quickly learn more swear words than the average adult.
We become part of the external environment.
None of us are immune to the influences of the world around us,
friends,
family and colleagues,
TV,
newspapers,
radio,
books and magazines that we read.
We should not isolate ourselves from the things and people in our lives.
Our thoughts and feelings,
goals and actions will be continuously shaped
by the people and things we come into contact with on a daily basis.
Fred starts a new job at a factory.
Fred takes a 10-minute break, the others take a 20-minute break.
Fred said, “What’s wrong with you guys?”
After two weeks he also took a 20-minute break.
Half a month later,
Fred took a 30-minute break.
Fred now says
“If you can’t argue with them,
then agree with them.
Why should I work harder than those guys?”
After 10 years, Fred was the longest worker in the factory.
He accepted the attitude of other workers.
The strange thing is that people are often unaware
of the changes taking place in their psyche.
It’s like returning to the city smog after a few weeks of fresh air,
only then do we realize that we’ve gotten used to the filthy smells before.
Living with people who are critical will begin to criticize.
Living with happy people we know what happiness is.
Living with sloppy people makes us sloppy,
with enthusiastic people makes us enthusiastic,
with adventurous people makes us adventurous,
with prosperous people makes us prosperous.
This means we need to decide
what we want and choose the appropriate partner.
You might say,
“That takes a lot of effort.
It can’t be pleasant.
I might have to upset a few people.
” Right! But that’s your life.
Fred might say,
“I’m empty all the time, bored and boring at work
, I’m usually sick and have no direction,
can’t do anything interesting.”
Then we know that Fred’s best friend is also broke,
frustrated,
boring job,
weak health, standing still and always longing
for a more vibrant life.
Not a coincidence.
We don’t want to judge Fred
but if he wants to improve his quality of life the first thing
to do is to recognize what’s going on in his life lately.
It is not surprising that a doctor has many diseases,
since he is in contact with sick people all day.
Psychiatrists have high suicide rates for similar reasons.
Traditionally, 9 out of 10 children whose parents smoke will also smoke.
Poor people have poor friends.
Rich people you are rich.
Successful people have successful friends.
And so on and so forth.
When times are bad is when the real entrepreneurs emerge. — Robert Kiyosaki
Conclude
If you’re serious about changing your life,
be serious about changing what’s around you
Well-being
“The best thing you can do for a poor person is not to be as poor as they are.”
My experience is that many people believe
that when it comes to money and prosperity,
all the right thinking and the right attitude,
and the hard work will never change your ability
to pay invoice at the end of the month.
In fact, your conscious and subconscious
thoughts produce results in your life.
EVEN decide how much money you have in the bank.
Prosperity or poverty depends on your thinking.
It is your mind and belief system that determines you.
It makes you rich or poor depending on how you train it.
Whatever you think, it’s there.
Thinking poor is poor, thinking rich is rich.
Let’s take Fred as an example.
He always believed that it would take a lot of work to pay his bills.
He will only do the jobs that pay the average
because he has planned for himself.
He only hangs out with mediocre people like me
because it makes him feel better.
These people agree with his opinion that life is hard.
In such an environment,
he will not be inclined to extend his ideas further
to reach other things he can achieve.
It is possible that Fred comes from a family
with such an attitude towards money
and is often short on money.
This contributed to Fred’s belief.
Since we’ll get most of what we expect,
and Fred thinks he’ll be short on money,
he’ll get what he thinks.
He had a “program” in his brain that said,
“You’ll never have any money, Fred,”
and every time he saw a surplus,
he spent it.
Maybe subconsciously he thinks,
“It’s strange to have this extra money!
I should buy something and go back to being “proletarian” like before!”
Through this monologue,
he will assert that money problems are an urgent part of life.
He may say to himself, “I don’t have money
because I don’t get a good education.”
If you study well and you are rich,
then all university professors are millionaires.
I know some highly educated people
who are very poor while some uneducated people are very rich.
Maybe Fred reasoned “I don’t get a good job to make a lot of money”.
Many others have to do side jobs to get started.
Others change jobs.
Maybe time is the answer.
Fred could argue that he didn’t have enough time to get rich.
We all have worship
equal time,
24 hours a day,
no one has more or less.
Fred could tell he was too young or too old,
or that he had to take care of his wife,
his wife couldn’t help him
or his children were too many.
But if he looks closely,
other rich people still face all these problems.
Alternatively, our friend could argue that he likes to be rich
but doesn’t want to have to do the work himself.
Again, we often see many people working hard
and still being poor
while some only work a few hours a day and become rich.
Diligence is a necessity
but it does not guarantee prosperity!
If you’ve been plucking chickens in a factory for up to 10 hours a day,
plucking more feathers won’t make you any better.
At some point, all you need to do is change your strategy!
I’m not making any judgments here.
Money is neither good nor bad.
Money is money.
Fred or someone else might be happy,
maybe not.
The point is that Fred’s situation was caused by himself.
If he changes, he will achieve his goal.
We’ll quickly learn a few things that,
if Fred did,
could make him rich.
Obstacles to money
See how and why people stop themselves from becoming rich.
Many people are uncomfortable with keeping money for various reasons,
so they stay poor all the time.
It sounds silly but it’s the truth.
Imagine you are in the following situations
to see how you relate and behave with money:
° Situation A
You just went to the bank to withdraw $5000 in cash to buy a used car.
On the way home you meet a friend and stop for coffee with him.
When you pay, he notices that your wallet is full of money.
Do you get confused and immediately explain
why you are carrying so much money
or do you feel completely comfortable and don’t explain at all?
(To be able to make money or save it,
you have to feel comfortable holding it.
If you don’t,
then your subconscious or conscious mind will lead you
to the point where you don’t own anything.)
° DISCUSSION
You meet a person at a party who speaks honestly,
without bragging, that he makes easy money.
What do you think of him and that quote?
(If you want to be rich,
you must see it as a good thing that people are rich.
If you have the childish idea that rich people are not good people,
then you will be poor all your life because obviously you are not rich.
I want someone to hate me,
° Scenario C
You go shopping with a friend and remember that you left your money at home.
Your friend has enough cash to lend you something.
When asked to borrow 50 dollars,
how do you feel?
Would you rather run home for money?
(It’s important for you to become a well-off person to feel worthy of help.
It’s important to feel worthy of help
and your ability to accept help will determine your success.
° EASY SITUATION
You put your hand in your pocket
and find out you just lost $120.
Do you say to yourself,
“umm maybe someone needs it more than I do”
or do you hate yourself for losing that money?
(If we are dependent on money,
it will be difficult to make and keep it.)
° Situation E
Imagine how much money you make in a month
is equal to what your father makes in a year.
How do you feel?
Do you feel “guilty” for making more money?
How do you feel when you realize
that your three friends know you’re earning so much?
(If you are not used to success,
this is what will prevent you from succeeding)
° Situation F
Many people associate poverty with spiritual problems.
They think that being poor means being virtuous.
How do you think God would feel knowing that you make half a million dollars a year?
Do you think He would say “What a greedy pig”
or “Congratulations!
You must be doing good”.
Wealth and lack of desire show that we are equal individuals.
People are encouraged to share with the poor,
not to become poor like them.
What should I do?
Here is a list of things you can do to improve your financial situation:
1. Decide to get rich and commit to working hard to get there.
I would like to emphasize that effort is very important,
but with the right attitude and belief system.
2. Save first, spend the rest.
The poor do the opposite.
They spend first and plan to save later.
Wealth is largely due to knowing how to plan and following that plan.
3. Observe the rich.
Go with good business people.
Find out where they differ from you.
See their good, positive and attractive points.
Must be objective.
Research the qualities
and characteristics that make them successful.
Watch them carefully.
Consider their attitude and let this wash your mind.
4. Ask others for help.
You may be surprised how many people are willing to help you.
Knowing how to ask others for help makes us capable
receive.
5. Always affirm to yourself that you deserve to be rich.
6. Relax a little from time to time.
To become financially independent,
you must first realize that you can spend a little.
In addition, if you spend the money you have,
there will be an initiative to make it.
7. Make a plan and set goals.
8. Continually expand your belief system
and reach for other things you can achieve.
There are hundreds of books
and tapes about other people’s success.
If you catch just one good idea in there,
the time and money spent is well worth it.
9. Always carry some money,
there are 3 reasons.
First of all, you feel richer.
Second, you get used to having money.
Third, you gradually believe that you know how to use money.
In addition, you also reduce the fear of losing money, which is very important.
Some people say “I can’t take money with me,
I’ll spend it!
How do you have money when you don’t believe you can keep it?
10. Don’t blame your parents, the weather,
the economy,
the government or your job,
your education,
or your mother-in-law for your condition.
11. Always enthusiastic and committed to every challenge.
It’s funny how all the rich find
that they don’t really start making money
until they stop working for it.
12. Recognize poverty as a mental illness.
Like many diseases, it is curable
when you believe it is possible.
And with disease it takes effort,
initiative and courage to defeat it,
if you give up, you fail!
It is fascinating to understand that all wealthy people have struggled
with this disease at some point in their lives.
You too!
