Chapter 2: Prepare For Dreams
I will learn and prepare myself to
dream come true
because I believe that one day,
The opportunity will come to me.” – Abraham Lincoln
******
FOCUS ON DREAM
When you see a person at the peak of glory,
have you ever wondered:
How can he be so successful?
Why am I smarter, more educated,
but I can’t get as far as that person?
All the success that you think
they achieved “overnight” is actually the result
of a process of hard work over many years.
That’s the length of time it takes
to prepare for a sublime moment.
My brother Ron Chapman didn’t succeed overnight because of luck,
but because Ron worked hard for 20 years in the radio industry
before receiving the national award.
Ron is always optimistic and sees life with a humorous perspective.
She has a quick problem-solving ability
and is ready to throw herself into work,
even if it’s jobs with little rewards
or even the slightest promise.
When asked about his school days,
Ron often says,
“My biggest dream is to be a record announcer on television,
so I’m willing to let go of everything
that I think won’t help. for my dream”.
With this in mind, Ron focuses only on what is necessary
and relevant to his future work.
The only way to get Ron to study is
to allow him to read it aloud
as if he were reading on the radio.
She went into her room,
put on some soft music,
and told her imaginary audience:
“Today we are going
to read a chapter of Ivanhoe”;
but I rarely read a whole chapter
because I often have to stop in the middle
to talk and discuss as if it were a real talk.
Ron doesn’t like books
because in his opinion,
reading takes up a lot of time,
so he has come up
with a way to not have to do reading reports.
During the last year of high school,
the teacher asked students
to read a chapter of Gone With the Wind every month
to write a thesis report.
Ron thought that
if he had one assignment on the entire book Gone with the Wind,
he could complete the entire school year
with just one assignment.
Ron asked a friend to write a lengthy summary
and asked his mother to help type it.
My mother was always willing to do anything
to help Ron and as he predicted,
the paper was given an A and Ron was also considered exempt
for the whole year.
Everything was going well
until the day my mother went to a parent meeting.
She complained to the teacher
that she didn’t know how to encourage Ron to read.
The teacher was surprised:
“Ron has just finished reading Gone with the Wind!”.
– Gone with the wind?
He has never read this book.
When Mom came home and asked Ron about the book.
Ron was equally surprised when he said,
“Mommy typed that homework for me!”.
Perhaps my mother did not pay attention to the content that she typed.
The next day the teacher dropped Ron’s A
and replaced it with a zero,
causing his English grade point average
to drop and so at the end of the year he barely got a grade.
While my mother was worried about her poor academic performance,
Ron was fiddling with the tape recorder,
trying to interview famous stars on the Salisbury coast.
Ron has managed by all means to get into the dressing room
and make friends with famous stars.
Audio recordings of these interviews were immediately used by WHAV radio.
None of the WHAV reporters had access to these stars,
and so Ron brought glory
and prestige to the station.
When Ron graduated from high school,
WHAV took him in and allowed him
to take on a separate program.
I thought Ron had fulfilled his life dream,
but then he had to join the army and move to Korea.
On the train to Korea,
Ron heard the announcement
that tomorrow morning,
whole team would be assigned labor for two weeks.
Ron immediately thought of how to avoid boring jobs
to spend time doing things he loved.
The next morning, Ron took a notebook
and stood next to the commander.
When the commander ordered the first group
to do the job of scraping paint,
and the second group to clean the floor,
Ron took notes while nodding
and saying “Good job” as confirmation.
The commander tried very hard
to ask me what I was doing on the ship.
– I’m in charge of the talent show.
Ron quickly replied.
Not wanting to make people think he was ignorant
or not up to date,
the commander also nodded and said,
“Oh yes! Talent show”.
During the next two weeks,
everyone thought that Ron was assigned
by his superiors to do a talent show,
so it was not surprising
that Ron kept asking the crew members
about their talents and strengths.
Ron had prepared a musical performance on the last night
before the ship docked.
With his sense of humour,
Ron put on a lively,
multi-act play,
to the excitement and warm applause of the soldiers.
After being in Korea for a few weeks,
on board was commended by the government
for its actions
to encourage and encourage soldiers’ morale on board.
Perhaps Ron was the only one
who received a reward
for dodging work!
In Korea, Ron was assigned to the Voice of the United Nations Army.
His “Good Morning” has become an important slogan for the entire army.
Ron tried to get rid of the local Boston accent,
hone his language skills and develop the essential skills
of a professional broadcaster.
A few Korean businessmen who liked Ron’s clear pronunciation came
to ask him to teach them conversational English.
Eventually, Ron became an English teacher at Seoul University.
Ron’s reputation is getting bigger and bigger,
he was asked to conduct a program
to teach English pronunciation
to Koreans on television.
This program quickly became famous
and was voted as the program
with the most viewers.
Many of Ron’s teammates returned home
after completing their military service,
but Ron continued to stay in Korea to hone his knowledge
and learn more skills to prepare
for the career he dreamed of.
Ron has learned to let go of
what doesn’t work for his dreams
and devote his creativity to
what he thinks is necessary for his future work.
How about you? Are you in control of your life
and holding on to your dreams?
If the answer is no,
then start now,
from the very basics.
*************
Studying Human Personality – Who am I?
Are you sure you know all about yourself?
How do you rate yourself as a person?
What kind of personality pattern?
Oswald Chambers said:
“Character is the distinctive feature of each person,
which helps us to distinguish one person from another”.
The Greek philosopher Hippocrates, on the other hand,
suggested that if people could simplify the salient features of people
and group them,
classify them, and name them,
people could understand each other more easily.
During the course of his research,
he divided into four different personality types:
Optimistic: the lively and cheerful type;
Power: the type of person who acts and controls things;
Quiet: thoughtful type and wants everything to be perfect;
and Moderate: the type of person
who knows how to balance life,
loves peace, does not want to fight and is afraid of conflicts.
My marriage changed a lot after we discovered the doctrine of the philosopher Hippocrates.
Before that,
I always thought that my husband was the only one
who thought that any problem could be properly solved with detailed planning.
And you think I’m the only one
who considers enjoying myself more important than anything else.
When I realized he was the calm type and there were millions of people like him in the world,
I changed my view of him.
As for him,
when he knew that I was an optimist,
he understood that for an optimist,
enjoying a happy life does not mean living without purpose.
For the first time in over 15 years, we are beginning
to accept each other for who we really are and no longer intend to change our partners.
When we delved deeper into this theory,
we also discovered that both had quite a bit
of a power-type personality.
This explains how over the years,
the two have tried to control and change each other.
True to my personality,
after discovering this,
I want to share it
with everyone immediately.
I invited 10 couples to my house
and held a personality game.
This reality experience is so interesting,
suddenly the cloud cover is lifted
and everyone sees each other for the first time.
People openly expressed their opinions.
For optimists:
“Now we understand
why you are always cheerful and talkative!”.
To powerful people:
“Ah, so that’s why you want to control us all the time.”
To the calm person:
“If you work with this type of person,
you need to be precise”;
to moderate people:
“I will no longer wonder if you never show emotions
and always avoid all kinds of problems.”
In just one evening,
even though my knowledge was limited,
it became clear to me that this theory had a real effect.
People become friendlier
when they get to know each other well.
From then on,
I became interested in studying human personality.
I read books, consult documents,
observe life around to find more examples to illustrate this theory.
I started getting a lot of invitations to speak.
This is my stepping stone to a new career,
one that helps people answer question
“Who am I?”.
Personality is the outward manifestation
of our true nature.
Each of us is born with a certain pattern of behavior
before different situations of life.
We are not blank pages for fate to write on.
If I was born with an optimistic personality,
then I will always be optimistic
and can quickly get out of this negative situation.
If I was born powerful,
I wouldn’t let my negative situation discourage me
and would act as soon as I could.
If I was born a quiet person,
I would tend to consider things carefully.
If I was born a peaceful person,
I always know how to balance my life,
rarely show affection and avoid all troubles.
Therefore, the most effective way
to understand a person is to look at his behavior,
how he reacts to situations in life.
Is there any connection
between dreams and personality?
The answer is yes!
When you have understood yourself,
as well as the people around you,
you will have appropriate behaviors
and will accept obvious psychological states
to prepare a good mood for your dreams.
Take a look at the following breakdown of the strengths
and weaknesses of each personality type:
Through this personality chart,
you can identify your innate personality.
You will only feel comfortable and confident
with yourself when you are yourself,
not trying to be the type of person
that others want or expect of you.
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DEPENDENCE STATUS
Not all of us are confident in asserting our position in front of others.
Many of the women
I have come in contact
with do not identify with their own image.
When they have to introduce themselves,
they often say,
“I’m Jim’s wife! Mary’s mother!
Bobby’s teacher!”
What if Jim unfortunately passed away,
if Mary had a family of her own,
if Bobby graduated?
When you lose important fulcrums,
will your values and purpose in life disappear?
Or will you, after a period of disappointment,
get up and start a new life?
I know an elderly widow
whose husband died in a car accident.
Although that traumatic event has passed many years,
she still lives a closed life
with her own grief.
Her children tried everything
to help their mother overcome the deadlock,
but it was almost hopeless.
Many doctors have diagnosed
and treated her depression,
but to no avail.
Until one day, she was taken
to see a psychiatrist.
After a few social questions,
the doctor started talking;
However, she remained silent
as if sinking into her own realm.
Finally, the doctor asked:
“If he were here right now,
what would you say?”
She was surprised at this unexpected question
and when she met the doctor’s friendly,
sincere eyes,
she spoke slowly
as if she were talking to her dear husband.
She talked about her lonely life
since the day he died
when she had to do everything
that the two of them had done before,
about the plans she could not do for him,
about the pain she found it difficult to have surmountable,
and also about the sadness he felt
when he had left her alone in her old age.
Waiting for her to pass through the emotion,
the doctor continued:
“Does he want to see you in the present situation?”.
She hesitated for a moment,
then admitted,
“Definitely not!”
Through the conversation with the doctor,
she gradually understood that it is not only the grief
that is immersed in the memory
to remember each other.
Faced with a certain pain,
loss,
or separation,
you have the choice to either move forward,
or let the pain engulf your life.
Are you self-deprecating and unstable?
Are your actions,
thoughts, even dreams more
or less dependent on someone?
Do you always have to hide under a certain “pine tree”?
Do you really need the care
and attention of others all the time?
Do you feel jealous if other people have friends around
and feel left out if you don’t join the group?
If you answered yes to these questions,
you may be suffering the consequences of an unhappy childhood,
a dysfunctional family,
parental pressure,
or failure in forging past relationships.
********
STATUS OF EMOTIONAL SUCCESSFUL
With today’s busy and stressful life,
people easily fall into a state of physical fatigue
and mental exhaustion.
So, you’ve probably heard sayings like:
“I can’t go on living another day”,
“My life is getting worse and worse”,
“I’m a complete failure.” ”,
“Why is everyone turning their backs on me”,
or “How to get out of this crisis”,…
These statements can be an immediate response
to any difficult situation.
That sometimes helps to relieve the situation.
However, the problem will become more serious
if you often have these kinds of thoughts,
because it is a proof that you have been influenced
by bad events in the past
that make you lose your balance in life with emotional side
and unable to get over himself.
Having pain in the past will negatively affect
how you behave in the present.
Your life will not be improved
until you find the deep
and real cause of this condition.
Many years ago, the famous TV presenter Oprah Winfrey made everyone admire
when she lost nearly 30 kg.
Her shows are always the biggest viewership
and everyone wants to learn her weight loss secret.
At the beginning and end of the program,
she introduced everyone a photo of her slim figure in tight jeans.
Plump women flocked to her to sign up
for the weight loss exercise she started.
She constantly receives encouraging words from audiences
from all over the world applauding her self-improvement program.
But just two years later,
Oprah gained weight again
and she confessed to the public
that her lack of control was
because she was only concerned with the symptoms
and did not pay attention to the core of the problem.
As a child she was sexually abused
and her weight was not really an issue for her.
It was her obsession
with abuse that caused her to fall and stress,
binge eating,
and many others in similar situations can’t hold themselves back
from temptations such as drugs,
alcoholism,
excessive shopping, etc.
She adds: “If Behavior modification alone is not enough
to cure this disease completely,
you need to overcome the guilt of the past
to start a new life.
Imagine that the problem of psychological instability in life is similar
to the situation in which your garden is full of weeds
and encroaching on your plants.
To resolve this situation,
you can choose one of three ways:
(a) Leave the weeds alone to dominate the garden.
(b) Trim the grass to keep the garden open.
(c) Dig the roots and throw them away.
If you choose option (a),
pretend you don’t need to do anything and hope for luck.
Unfortunately, a lot of us choose this option
because it doesn’t require any effort or challenge.
Option (b) may help you feel comfortable
and uplifted,
but it is temporary
and will not resolve the pain in your soul.
Option (c) requires the most effort,
time and determination,
but is the most effective way
to treat the root of the problem.
I have tried many times to help people
with unfortunate circumstances,
but the situation is not very positive.
Looking back now,
I know that I had actually just put the bandage on the deep wound.
Don’t waste time patching up once a patient needs surgery.
Some people say,
“It’s best to leave things as they are.”
If “so” means just existing,
then it is time to turn over the pain of the past
to find a solution
to the problem and start a fresh future.
********
OVER THE PAST FEELING OF REMOVAL
Not all of us have a complete childhood
with the full attention and care of our parents,
both mentally and physically.
Many adults still remember their childhood with the mood:
“I have never been truly loved by my parents”.
Although there are also a few cases where parents just give birth
without paying attention to the child’s growth and development;
But I firmly believe that most fathers
and mothers love their children,
although their expression may be different.
When you understand personality differences,
you will find that each personality has its own way
of expressing emotions.
When the child has the same personality
as the father or the mother,
the child will not feel lost,
lonely or rejected.
On the contrary,
it is the difference in personality
that has caused many unfortunate misunderstandings
between the fathers,
mother and children.
Parents feel that their children are gradually separated,
do not understand their hardships and sacrifices for them;
and the children feel sorry for themselves,
have low self-esteem,
live a closed life
when they see that their parents are not as concerned
as they want and wait.
If you fall into this situation,
calmly look back at the problem,
to be confident in yourself
and feel your parents’ love for you.
************
Types of reactions to rejection
We often think of denial as a state
that plunges the victim into a lifelong emotional crisis.
On the basis of personality differences,
you can understand the different reactions of each person.
Moderate and quiet people
with introverted tendencies are often unmotivated
and often underestimate themselves.
If their childhood lacks affection,
they often withdraw,
live more closed with independent activities
such as reading, watching TV.
They become isolated from the surrounding world,
do poorly at work with productive
and feel useless.
When they hear other people’s complaints about them,
they associate them
with feelings of rejection in the past,
and these complaints as a confirmation
of their feeling of worthlessness.
With an extroverted nature,
the optimist and powerful when faced
with rejection often respond
by denying that the problem exists.
They try to hide the pain inside to continue living.
They overcome pain by conquering higher goals
and challenges in their careers.
They want to devote all their time to their work
to avoid any idle moments.
Busyness won’t give them enough time
to think about themselves.
With this strong personality,
some people have sought
to create the life they dream of in the hope
that satisfaction can mask the pain of the past.
********
TRUE TO YOURSELF
Once when I was finishing my talk,
a woman came up to me and said,
“I can’t believe you can be so honest and straightforward.
Up until now,
I’ve been used to hiding my true feelings.
Her talk evoked feelings
that I had been trying to suppress in my heart for many years.”
This is a typical comment
for thousands of others
who have sought to share my feelings.
I did not expect that my honesty
and openness would surprise
and move people so much.
It is worth thinking about
when the relationship
between people and people today lacked sincerity
but full of plans and schemes.
It seems that we are all actors in a big play.
Every morning we wake up,
we tell ourselves who we should be today.
After putting on makeup,
putting on the smiling face of work,
we add an appearance of assertiveness and power.
We practice the principles we believe to be true.
We hide our inappropriate emotions,
keep our masks in place,
dance to the dance of daily work,
and end up leaving work exhausted.
It’s very hard to act and work hard to fulfill
that role every day without revealing
who you really are.
There are so many people around us,
always trying to be a standard model of relationships
and society,
but never daring to reveal a single thought of themselves.
********
READY FOR REALITY
Even people with the strongest personality find it difficult to deal with unexpected situations.
When Jane Fonda’s daughter was arrested by the police for aiding drug dealers and disorganized acts, disrupting administrative offices, Jane said: “I should have been the one. arrested by me as a failed mother. I was too concerned with myself; so when Vanessa needed me, I wasn’t there for her.”
Is there any hope left when dreams are shattered? Can you reframe your dream? First, you must dare to accept your responsibility and face the truth. Jane admits: “When she could not find spiritual support in her parents, Vanessa turned to drugs. I made the mistake of not being able to maintain a family home.”
Next, you must recognize your limits in terms of reframing other people’s dreams; even if you were the cause of the initial losses.
After going through this incident on her own,
Vanessa will surely learn many valuable lessons about life.
Vanessa said: ‘I don’t really mean to attract people’s attention,
but I hope through this event,
my mother
and I will feel closer to each other.
All problems can turn out for the better if we really care.
Don’t let it be too late.
Many people are busy with work and career,
so they don’t have time to teach their children.
Judy and Jim never thought their children would have serious problems.
Both are entrepreneurs,
so they often have to go on business trips away from home.
Rare free time at home is often interrupted by urgent work.
The two are used to the hustle
and bustle of
such a busy life and still feel reassured
when they see that everything is still
under their control.
Until one day, Judy visited her best friend.
She sadly announced that her son had been admitted to the rehab center.
Judy recalls:
“There seemed to be some kind of awakening in me.
I am really worried whether my beloved son is related
to drugs or not.
Although I did not detect any suspicious signs
when cleaning the room
or the closet;
but now I remember that lately Jimmy
– my son’s temper
– has been quite erratic.
Jimmy is very angry,
often sad, moody.
From an elite student,
Jimmy started truant
and grades dropped rapidly.
At home, we never saw him happy again.”
Judy and Jim decide to face this painful truth.
They cancel an important business trip to take Jimmy
to the hospital for a urine test.
Test results showed that Jimmy was addicted
to drugs to a fairly severe degree.
“All our expectations of Jimmy were gone; instead it was fear for the boy’s future,” continued Judy. “We had to put him in rehab and the next few days as a family were filled with panic, worry and compassion for our son.” Judy and Jim seem to have forgotten themselves to help Jimmy end the nightmare and return to a normal life.
Feelings of guilt weighed heavily on her soul, making Judy feel extremely tired and discouraged.
But then Judy also realized that all her and Jim’s efforts would be meaningless if Jimmy was not motivated and determined enough.
The two began to immediately stop the actions of forcing Jimmy
to return to normal life,
but to find a way to bring the responsibility
of recovering himself to its right owner – Jimmy.
It was difficult for Jimmy but really necessary.
Judy concluded: “Finally, Jimmy made it.
When he realized the meaning of life and his parents’ love for him, he began to wake up, gradually avoid drugs and gradually return to a normal life. Now we know how to spend time together, listen to each other and know each other in difficult times. To fix broken family dreams, you have to have the courage to face the truth and take action.”
********
ENOUGH TO START AGAIN?
Some lucky people find a desired job after graduation and make it a lifelong career. Others hit obstacles halfway through and start rethinking their dreams. When I became aware of the world around me, I dreamed of becoming a teacher. I cherished and prepared for that dream for four years before getting married.
But then life changed my goals: I wanted to be a fulfilling wife, a dedicated mother, a passionate social worker, and an excellent leader. When my first two sons died, I felt that there was no meaning in this life anymore. One of my goals, my dream was broken. I feel extremely hopeless.
To find the meaning of life again, I started reading books and researching about four personality types. I began to share my insights into differences in human personality. At first, I only talked to parishioners at the church. After that, I held large lectures, open to all audiences.
Then people asked me to write a book on the subject. Everything came to me as a surprise when a publisher, after listening to me, offered me a contract to write a book for them, when I had never even written a paragraph. My career as a writer begins here; The first book I wrote was when I was 50 years old, and the book you are reading is my 18th book. Obviously, it’s never too late to start a new career.
Marilyn Heavilin returned to university when she was 40 years old, and thought life was settled as an English teacher in a high school. Her son Nathan also attends the same school, so she can go to school together and share interesting moments between classes.
Once on his way home from playing basketball,
Nathan had an accident and died. Although she tried to get up after this incident, she could not bear to see Nathan’s shadow anywhere in the school. What should she do now? Should she give up her studies or not? Why would she waste her years of study?
At the lowest point in Marilyn Heavilin’s life,
I invited her to my seminar so that she could share her story with the world.
After the talk,
Marilyn dared to dream that she wanted to be a presenter like me.
And she worked hard to make this dream come true.
She often practices presentations alone,
then records and corrects as soon as she realizes a mistake.
After more than a year of searching
for opportunities to speak,
Marilyn felt free to drop out of school
and pursue her dream of becoming a professional speaker.
Six years later, Marilyn was a nationally known speaker
and had published four books.
Marilyn didn’t let circumstances overwhelm her.
She has built new dreams from fragments of old dreams
and has enthusiastically shared her experiences with everyone.
Have you ever let circumstances control you?
Is your path to your dream complete
or do you have to constantly adjust?
If the opportunity comes,
quickly seize it.
Be confident that life will show you the steps you need to begin
to adjust to your dream that is already broken.
Many of us, like Marilyn,
have been formally trained for certain occupations.
We have worked hard,
strived continuously
to win the top positions in our professional field.
But when we get what we want,
sometimes we are not satisfied and feel like we are living in a vicious circle.
If so, please reconsider.
Despite achieving the top position,
it is likely that you have spent a lot of time in a job
that does not give you complete satisfaction.
So do you have to pursue that job for the rest of your life?
Why can’t you stop to tune in to your dreams?
Years ago, Bobby wanted to change careers at the age of 39
and had a stable job for 15 years at a construction company.
Since childhood, Bobby dreamed of becoming a police officer.
However, when he entered university,
he chose a major to meet the wishes of his parents.
After graduating from school,
he quickly found a job suitable
for the major he studied.
With his own efforts,
he quickly promoted to higher positions.
However, he still did not feel his true passion.
So, he decided to take the risk to change everything
to do the job he always dreamed of.
Bobby applied to the local police department.
Like every other candidate,
he also has to go through the medical
and family background checks,
tests, and fingerprints.
Nearly a year later,
Bobby’s application was approved on the condition
that he had to pass the sheriff’s exam.
Anyone who heard him tell about his dream strongly objected,
only his wife and daughter supported him wholeheartedly.
Both of them encouraged Bobby in physical exercises such as jogging,
long jump, and throwing to help him compete
with young candidates.
His daughter spends hours at the library looking for documents related
to police work for him to review.
The whole family often thought of criminal situations
for him to participate in solving according to the law.
During those summer months,
Bobby couldn’t help but feel frustrated,
tired,
worried,
and thought he might give up.
But the goal ahead has kept his motivation
and determination.
In the end, he passed the exam
and graduated from the police academy the week he turned 40!
This event is very meaningful to his life
because it is a testament to the realization of a modified dream.
If one of your dreams has not been achieved,
or is only partially achieved,
or you are still not satisfied when achieved,
try another dream.
There’s still so much left to do,
and once you’ve chosen something to do,
jump right into the action.
********
BALANCE OF SPIRIT LIFE
A lot of positive change can happen
when we are ready to face the truth,
but what if you don’t get the point?
What if you tried your best
and still can’t solve the problem?
Maybe it’s time to review your spiritual life for balance?
Outside of work, how is your spiritual life?
Although spiritual life cannot be shown in detail such as position,
degree, property, wealth,…
but it has the ability
to have a strong impact on all areas of each person’s life.
It is beliefs,
beliefs,
cohesion of relationships,
recreational activities,
hobbies,
habits.
I first met Daryl Lloyd when he was serving
as a service manager
for the Australian food company Advanced Life,
and I was a speaker at the company’s annual conference.
I was attracted by his witty talk,
optimistic personality,
confidence and professional way of working.
After the lecture,
Daryl invited me to have lunch
with him and his wife.
Trish, his wife,
is currently the owner of a high-end beauty salon.
She is a quiet personality type with
all of her typical strengths.
Both Daryl and Trish understand each other’s personalities well,
accept each other and do not want
to change each other.
After many visits to Australia to give lectures,
we became close.
Only now did Daryl have the opportunity
to share his life story with me.
Daryl is the result of a love affair
between an Australian teenager
and an American officer during World War II.
But after his birth,
Daryl was abandoned and adopted by an Australian family.
Although the life of his adoptive parents was very difficult,
they really loved him and tried to give him the best conditions.
When the biological mother discovered
that she was no longer able to have children,
she tried to win him back to her.
Every year, on Daryl’s birthday,
she constantly sends gifts
and congratulatory letters
with sweet words in the hope
that he will be touched and come back to her.
But his adoptive mother kept all those gifts and letters away
because she didn’t want his childhood life to be disturbed.
On his 18th birthday,
when he was officially an adult,
his new adoptive mother told Daryl all about his identity
and handed him back all the gifts
and letters that his biological mother had given him. sent all the time.
After a moment of surprise,
Daryl chose not to read any letters and confirmed
that he had only one mother,
who had raised and cared for him all this time.
After finishing high school,
Daryl wanted to find a job in the television industry
to fulfill his dream
and to help his family out of poverty.
With great determination
and personal aptitude,
he entered the entertainment world
and was in charge of record production at GTV 9 in Melbourne.
He worked 18 hours a day.
Just a year later,
he was promoted to head of the department
with more than 20 employees under him.
He became famous
and had the opportunity to get acquainted
with many important figures in the field of television,
including Bruce Gyngell
– who owns 9 TV channels in Australia.
Daryl greatly admires Bruce for his success,
power, and influence.
At the age of 21, Daryl was stressed both physically
and mentally due to overwork.
After recovering, he received a phone call from Bruce Gyngell.
He asked him to sign a three-year contract
with his company as program director,
and Daryl, at the age of 21, began to tailor his dream.
During the implementation of the program,
Daryl often approached Bruce
and learned about his planning,
professional style and creative thinking.
These are valuable experiences for Daryl’s success later.
At the age of 25,
he and a friend founded their own company,
specializing in advertising technology.
The business is growing.
Profits helped him realize his former dream buy a luxury house
for adoptive parents.
His popularity allows him to own two of the latest cars
and be warmly welcomed wherever he goes.
However, Daryl did not expect that
while he was looking for customers
to make more profits,
his partner made many irreparable mistakes in financial management,
forcing his company to bankruptcy declaration.
In an instant,
Daryl lost everything he had worked so hard to build.
At that time, he was 32 years old.
“I cannot explain why. My dream ended unexpectedly,
when I was not prepared and did not make a mistake,”
Daryl told me.
Although he is in a desperate situation,
it seems that life still wants to test his endurance.
Friends who have been
with him for so long have turned their backs on him.
The people who had been helped by him in the past,
were promoted today and deliberately forgot about his presence.
At the same time,
Daryl has to face many reproaches from the family.
He was really disoriented and didn’t know where to go.
“Of all the people I know,
there is only one person
who called me to express sympathy,”
Daryl continued, “It was the mother of one of my subordinates.
She sincerely expressed her concern for me
and she said that instead of waiting
for the sympathy of others,
I should believe in myself
and find another spiritual support.”
Daryl didn’t quite understand the words at the time,
but at least this woman gave him some relief.
He began to read documents
and books to study psychology.
Thanks to that, he learned
that almost everyone has
to face unexpected events in life.
It is important for each person
to get over this mental state and move forward.
This is not the end,
but just a stop on the journey forward.
However, Daryl still feels extremely embarrassed
when he lets his girlfriend Trish know
that he is needy and desperate.
He feared another disappointment,
because up until now,
Trish had always admired his success.
In Trish’s eyes,
he is the perfect and successful man.
However, Trish really surprised Daryl by saying:
“I’m so happy to know
that you will spend more time with me now”.
This is indeed the strongest motivation
to help Daryl stand again.
With her previous work experience,
Daryl quickly found a new job:
a kitchen appliance salesman.
Success gradually returned to Daryl
as the number of orders he brought
to the company increased.
The profits he earns help him rebuild his life.
His business connections helped him get
to know the chief executive of the Australian food group Advanced Life.
One day, he received a phone call from his grandfather,
inviting him to serve as a service manager
for the food company Advanced Life.
Daryl quickly married Trish because according to him:
“A woman who can love me even
when I have nothing left will definitely stick
with me for the rest of my life.”
Now, Daryl has settled into a career at the food company Advanced Life;
and Trish has her own salon.
Both are very satisfied with their current lives.
********
ON ALL FORGIVENESS
When I talk to people who have lost faith
because of a painful past,
they often ask me,
“Do I have to forgive the people who have hurt me?”.
After all, forgiveness isn’t the first step in repairing a relationship,
but it is the final necessity for healing.
We should not force ourselves to say forgiveness
when we are not really ready, because then, it is just a lie.
One Sunday morning,
as I was sitting on the delegate bench in a meeting waiting for my turn to speak,
Craig Holiday, the director of a company,
stepped onto the podium to speak.
Accompanying his 7-year-old son, Craig spoke words
that I will always remember:
“When I was the same age as my son now,
my father ran away from home”,
his voice suddenly became difficult:
“I hated my father so much and always wondered
why he abandoned me.
When other children were proud to be taken to school
by their father or to attend and cheer on football matches,
I was left alone.
Sometimes I console myself with a reason I come up with;
But deep inside, I feel so lonely and pitiful.”
Craig touched everyone present that day with his life story.
As an adult, Craig entered the real estate business
and achieved certain successes.
However, his dream of getting rich quickly ended
when the real estate market crashed.
In the middle of a dead end,
a friend brought Craig to a marketing seminar;
and in a desperate and desperate mood,
Craig signed up to be a marketer.
He dared to dream again.
His business grew rapidly, and before long,
Craig was on top.
He hopes good things will come to him,
with his son Taylor whom he loves so much.
However, every time he looked at Taylor,
he thought of his father
and hatred rose in him.
Anger gnawed at Craig’s soul,
making it impossible for him to escape.
He understood very well that in order
to regain the feeling of peace in his heart,
he must definitely forgive his father
even though his father did not deserve to be forgiven.
Although this is extremely difficult
because there is no hope of healing the wound in the memory of the hurt,
in the end Craig has come through
and is ready to forgive.
When feelings of enmity have been vented,
he decides to meet his father after
so many years of separation.
Just as the audience breathed a sigh of relief
at the happy ending of the emotional story,
Craig stunned everyone in the hall
when he added:
“My father is here now.
Father, come up here and share with us,
if you want.”
A man with a face full of traces of hardship
and fatigue of time
but could not hide his happiness,
was slowly walking onto the stage.
Baby Taylor rushes to Grandpa with outstretched arms.
The two grandchildren hugged each other and cried.
And Craig stood silently looking at the two with red eyes.
We were all silent for a moment to share the Craig family’s sacred moment.
Many people shed tears
when thinking about the breakup in their own blood relationship.
Some people started clapping their hands to break the silence;
and in an instant,
the whole hall stood up,
cheering,
cheering for the miraculous power of forgiveness
and the beautiful proof of the healing of a seemingly indestructible love affair.
********
CAN YOU ADJUST YOUR DREAM?
What makes the difference between someone who falls down
when they fail and someone who stands up
to get stronger afterward?
I myself have faced countless seemingly insurmountable difficulties in my life
and have consulted thousands of people with unique circumstances,
so I understand the issue quite well.
To answer the question:
“Why are some people overcome by difficult circumstances
while others have the courage to overcome them?”,
let’s analyze some of the following factors:
************
1. Difference in personality
In difficult situations,
the optimist is the most responsive.
They see difficulties from a more open and open perspective;
they quickly accept reality
and immediately adjust their dreams to fit the situation.
Optimists are always motivating and give people hope.
Powerful people emphasize the element of control in their lives.
This is the type of person
who is most likely to fall into a crisis situation most quickly
if they feel that their peaceful life has suddenly spiraled out of control.
However, they will also quickly overcome all to continue moving forward.
Particularly the quiet type with the desire
to seek perfection and order,
will prolong his despair.
The moderate type will try to avoid all troubles.
Since this type of person rarely shows affection,
you rarely see them in a desperate situation.
They are the people who use willpower
to balance the mind until the situation improves.
Understanding the difference in personality,
you will no longer be surprised
when you consider how people react to difficult situations.
Those reactions are not personal choices
but rather pre-formed personality traits of each individual.
**************
2. Effects of past problems
Past trauma often leaves a negative and indelible mark.
Those who have had a rough
and painful childhood often find it difficult
to stand firm in the face of life’s challenges.
This obsession combined with personality traits will make them losers,
even in their own minds.
Obviously, the ability to overcome difficulties
and courageously face failure of individuals
who have a healthy spiritual life
or live in the love and protection
of their family will be much higher
than those of those
who are not lack the luck of family happiness.
***********
3. Family Tradition
Family traditions strongly influence a person’s personality.
If you come from a family
where members are always discouraged,
self-deprecating and give up when they fail
or see failure as an obvious thing that fate forces you to suffer
and then crawl into your own shell.
yourself, then you will also be inclined to think
and act similarly
when faced with an event.
And vice versa,
if you were born and raised in a family
with an optimistic spirit,
love of life,
and know how to see difficulties as a challenge of life,
then you will surely always be confident
and consistent with your actions.
But nothing is absolute;
even if you grew up in a family
with have a lot of negative thoughts,
you can still make an effort
to change your life attitude,
making all your behaviors change as well.
Don’t let your sad past ruin your future.
Paul Lewis was born without a left arm.
However, his parents still treat him fairly like other children.
His parents trained him
to do things like a normal person
with the hope that when he grows up,
he will not feel like a disabled person
and easily integrate into society.
As an adult,
Paul was never really bothered
or upset by the negative
or pitiful comments of others,
which he decided
to demonstrate with his actions.
He said: “I have never thought of myself
as a disabled person,
because my soul, my energy,
my beliefs are still normal like others.
This is possible thanks to my parents,
they have never seen me as a disabled person,
but always put their expectations
and dreams on me,
a normal human being.
Is there a flaw that prevents you from being confident enough
to fulfill your dreams in life?
Are there any negative comments
from people that discourage you?
See it all as a “push” for you to build your resolve
and climb the ladder of success step by step.
**********
4. Develop a sense of humor
When I look back at my own family life,
I realize that without humor our life would be very boring.
In the most difficult moments,
we still see the optimistic side of things.
If I have never experienced grief,
how can I empathize with others?
If I hadn’t seen difficulties as opportunities,
I would have given up because of disappointment.
If I hadn’t been funny during stressful times,
I probably wouldn’t have written a book.
I am very fond of the saying:
“Every bad experience is a valuable lesson”.
**********
5. Express words of encouragement to others
Words have boundless power.
With just one word,
you can send a person into the abyss of despair
or lift a person to the height of hope.
You should give people carefully selected words,
not only when giving suggestions in good faith,
but also when you praise and encourage others,
Once your heart is broken,
you will feel extremely grateful to those
who lift you up with words of encouragement.
When you say kind words to another person,
not only will that person be happy,
but you will also feel better about yourself.
Giving and receiving always have positive interactions
that complement each other.
“Dreams are not
is what is available,
it’s not
what is impossible.
Dreams are like
a road
latent to
man explores
and pass.”
– Hole tons
