6. Positive thinking versus negative thinking
“Set yourself a higher standard than people expect of you.
Never justify yourself.
Never pity yourself.
Be a strict teacher to yourself,
and be tolerant of everyone.”- HENRY WARD BEECHER
Aristotle, perhaps the greatest philosopher of all time,
has studied the human condition more extensively than anyone in history.
He concluded that the ultimate goal
of all human endeavors is happiness.
He said that every action a person takes
is aimed at achieving a higher state of happiness,
no matter how one defines happiness.
You want to get a good job.
To make more money.
For what? To be able to provide
for your family and enjoy a great lifestyle.
For what? To ensure financial security and yourself.
For what? For you to be happy.
The real measure of how successful you are in life is
how happy you are most of the time.
If you are rich, famous,
but you are unhappy,
you are not fulfilling your primary responsibility
as a human being.
All human actions are aimed at achieving a higher state of happiness,
no matter how one defines happiness.
This does not mean that every action leads to happiness.
Many people turn their lives into a mess
while trying to achieve happiness,
and they often end up in more misery
and dissatisfaction than before.
They are examples for the Law of Unplanned Consequences
and the Law of Reverse Consequences.
Positive emotions such as love,
success, and the feeling that you are reaching your full potential are
what people aim for most of the time.
What successful people do
Successful people almost always use positive thinking.
So they are happier,
and find more real joy in life than the average person.
The opposite of positive thinking is negative thinking.
Negative thinkers tend to be hostile and suspicious.
They often do not trust others and assume
that bad things are about to happen to them.
They have a negative personality
and are harshly critical of both themselves
and those around them.
Whatever happens, they are rarely satisfied for a period of time.
Life for them is a series of problems
and difficulties that they feel out of control
and unable to do anything about.
Years ago, when I began to wonder,
“Why are some people more successful and happier than others,”
I began to study the contrasts and differences
between positive and negative emotions.
What I discovered changed my life forever.
I discovered that everyone wants to be happy,
no matter how they define it.
What prevents a person
from reaching the happiness he desires are negative emotions.
Negative emotions lie at the root of almost every problem in life.
If you have a way to get rid of negative emotions,
you can solve almost any human problem.
There is a way to do this.
Nature hates emptiness.
If you eliminate negative emotions,
your mind will automatically fill with positive emotions.
When you get rid of negative emotions,
you will become a fully functional person.
When you eliminate negative emotions,
you will be able to reach your full potential.
So, the main job in life is to get rid of negative emotions.
1 This is an old proverb.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
Your mind can only produce one thought at a time,
positive or negative.
But if you don’t intentionally generate positive thoughts or feelings,
a negative thought
or emotion will take over your mind,
at least initially.
Negative thoughts tend to be easy and automatic,
the default setting for most people’s brains.
Positive thinking is something that really takes effort
until it becomes a habitual response
to life and situations.
you can become a completely positive thinker through study and practice.
To start getting rid of negative emotions,
we must first understand where they come from.
The good news is that no child is born
with any fear
or negative emotion.
All fears and negative emotions must be taught
throughout the years a child is growing up.
And because negative emotions are learned,
we can let them go.
Because negative emotions are habitual ways of reacting and responding
to people and situations,
we can replace them with constructive habits
of reacting and responding.
This is really just a matter of choice.
Abraham Lincoln once said,
“Most people are only happy when they decide to be happy.”
Children are born with two characteristics greatness,
that is boldness and carefreeness.
Newborns have absolutely no fear of anything.
Growing up, the child will touch,
or taste anything,
Parents must protect their children
from deadly dangers during the first few years of life.
Children are also born with innocence.
responds to needs,
and expresses its emotions without hesitation,
24 hours a day.
A child who doesn’t care about other people’s responses and reactions.
The kid simply didn’t care.
Fear of failure and criticism
When children are young,
by seeing the mistakes made by their parents,
children begin to develop two main fears about adulthood,
the fear of failure
and the fear of criticism.
trying to control their child’s behavior,
will say to the child,
“No way! Stop!
Don’t do that! Stay away from that place!” and,
physically punishing the child for exploring his
or her world so boldly,
the child soon forms the belief that he is small and incompetent.
Before long the child will refrain
from holding hands and trying new things.
It will begin to say “I can’t, I can’t,
I can’t” when faced with something new or different.
This “I can’t” feeling soon turns into a fear of failure.
As an adult,
it becomes a preoccupation with failure or poverty.
Adults fear loss of money and time,
loss of security and rejection,
loss of loved one’s love,
loss of health,
and possible poverty.
Overall, this fear of failure acts as a brake on a child’s potential and,
subsequently, an adult’s potential.
It is the biggest obstacle to success in adulthood.
Fear of criticism
The child will also soon lose his inherent carefreeness.
Because of the mistakes parents make,
especially when their love depends on the child obeying them or not,
the child soon develops a fear of criticism and rejection.
When the parents get angry
and threaten to leave the child if they don’t listen,
the child begins to say to himself,
“I have to do what my parents want,
or they won’t love me anymore.”
Because, for children,
the love and protection of their parents is most important to them,
any threat to that love frightens them and causes them to refrain
from behaviors that could lead to to this loss.
Love is denied
Psychologists generally agree that most problems in a person’s life stem
from “rejected love” from childhood.
The root cause of a distorted personality is “lack of love”
or love being given to children
and then taken away from them at an early age.
Children need love like roses need rain.
and unconditional love,
the child grows up emotionally vulnerable
and vulnerable to negative emotions.
Alexander Pope wrote,
“Children do not support,
adults break branches.”
Negative childhood is the same as growing up.
Lacking and full
Psychologist Abraham Maslow,
who has studied the personality of affirmatives,
concludes that 98% of adults are primarily driven
by what he calls “deficient needs”.
Instead of trying to realize their full potential,
they work their whole lives to make up for their cognitive deficits,
especially thoughts of being “unworthy”
and feelings of “I’m not good enough.”
Maslow says that only 2% of adults feel “fulfilled,”
which he defines as the desire and confidence to grow
and realize their full potential in life.
He calls these “self-assertives” in society,
who are described as having high levels of self-esteem and confidence.
Over 100 years ago,
Russian metaphysicians Peter Ouspensky
and G. I. Gurdjieff developed a lecture system
to help identify
as well as eliminate the sources
and causes of negative emotions.
like modern psychologists,
that if negative emotions are eliminated,
only a fully-functioning, fully active,
self-affirming adult remains.
It seems that the goal of most people in the world is
to achieve this state.
So what is the source of negative emotions in human life?
Have a lot of. Let’s explore them in turn.
The source of negative emotions
Negative emotions are created
when we try to justify a situation
or behavior that makes us uncomfortable in life.
Rationalization is defined as “giving a reasonable explanation
for an unreasonable action”.
We try to rationalize and justify negative behaviors
that prevent us from enjoying the success
and happiness we truly desire in life.
We rationalize dishonesty by saying,
“Everyone does that.”
We rationalize obesity by saying,
“It’s my genes or my hormones.”
We rationalize laziness,
lack of self-discipline,
and bad work habits by saying,
“Who am I?That’s it”,
and then by comparing ourselves to people who are worse,
we never have to improve ourselves.
As we constantly justify our negative behaviors,
we become more and more miserable,
and unable to make progress in life.
Another great source of negative emotions is
when we justify our negative behaviors
by interpreting them in a certain way.
We justify negative emotions by telling ourselves,
or to someone who is willing to listen,
that we have every right to have these negative emotions
because of something that someone,
did to us
or to someone.
Justification allows us to create concrete reasons
for problems in our own lives and in the lives of others.
If you cannot justify a negative emotion or behavior,
it will immediately disappear.
Many of our negative emotions stem
from our tendency to judge others.
we consider ourselves judges,
jurors, and executioners.
We see the other person guilty for doing
or not doing something,
condemn him for wrongdoing, and sentence him.
This is one of the most important teachings in the Bible,
and in other Scriptures,
it is “judge not,
lest you be judged.”
When you judge and condemn others,
for whatever reason,
seeing them as guilty,
you immediately look at them,
think about them,
and feel about them in a negative light.
The Bible also says,
“As you judge men,
so will they judge you.”
This sentence means that
when you judge and condemn others,
you are actually judging and condemning yourself.
Even if you see him as guilty
and think negatively about him,
you actually feel the same negative,
even more negative.
And in most cases,
the other person doesn’t even know
that you have judged and condemned them.
The person you’re angry with doesn’t even care.
As a result of developing feelings of rejection
and criticism from childhood,
many people grow up to be sensitive to the thoughts,
and behaviors of others.
We still see criticism
and contempt even though they are not real.
We are sensitive to what we think others might feel about us.
We are so concerned with the displeasure
or criticism of others
that we dare not do anything
or try to refrain
from doing things that are beneficial to ourselves.
In business and business,
we always meet potential customers
who cannot make a decision to buy anything
without consulting and asking for the absolute consent
of one or more people in their family
Over-sensitivity can really paralyze people and keep them
from making decisions that are best for themselves.
Causes of negative emotions
After all, negative emotions are summed up as a
form of anger that either stays inside,
makes you sick,
or shows it out,
making people angry and hateful.
and neurological problems are caused
by suppressing negative emotions,
depression is caused by negative emotions,
thinking others are just as negative as you,
releasing negative emotions
by how to get angry at others
when we are actually angry at ourselves,
and so on.
Negative emotions are very common in society,
first of all fear,
as we have discussed.
In addition, there are feelings of jealousy and resentment,
two sources of political activity around the world.
Jealousy coupled with feelings of inferiority will make a person think,
“No one loves me”.
There are also other negative emotions such as hatred,
Tree of negative emotions
If you can picture a “negative emotion tree,”
you can consider all the negative emotions you’ve ever experienced
as fruit growing on the tree.
To get rid of negative emotions,
you have to somehow cut down this tree.
Here’s a great breakthrough:
The trunk of the tree of negative emotions is the blame.
It’s impossible to experience a negative emotion
without blaming others for something they did
or didn’t do, which you don’t approve of.
The moment you stop blaming,
the negative emotions will completely stop.
So how do you stop blaming?
The answer is both simple and revolutionary.
You cannot blame another person for a negative emotion
and take responsibility
for the situation at the same time.
The very act of taking responsibility will destroy the negative emotions associated
with that situation,
or that difficulty.
And how do you arouse this sense of responsibility?
All you have to do is say the magic words “I take responsibility”.
This affirmative and current affirmation will immediately eliminate all kinds
of negative emotions.
Since your mind can only generate one thought at a time,
positive or negative
you can erase any negative thought at any time
by repeating to yourself,
over and over again,
“I take responsibility!
I take responsibility!
I take responsibility!”
How do you turn off all the lights on the pine tree?
You pull the power cord out of the outlet,
and the lights go out immediately.
How do you get rid of all negative emotions?
The same way,
you just delete them every time they appear
by immediately saying,
They will stop immediately.
Take 100% responsibility
The key to getting your self-esteem,
and rightness is to take 100% responsibility
for everything you do both now and in the future.
As soon as you take full responsibility,
without any excuses,
you become calm,
The separate T-face will arise
and the darkness will disappear from your life.
Everyone has made mistakes in life in some way.
We all had difficult childhoods,
growing up with many negative experiences,
and bad investments.
Everyone has been cheated,
hurt, taken advantage of,
and abused in some way.
this is a normal,
and unavoidable part of the human experience.
The only question is,
“What are you going to do with it?”
There is one thing you must do to get rid of negative emotions,
and that is to practice forgiveness.
Forgive and forget generously
The answer is that to be free,
you must free others.
To be happy,
you must forgive those who have hurt you.
You have to be open, generous
and completely let go of all the negative thoughts you still think
and feel about anyone in your life.
You must forgive everyone.
At this point,
in my seminars and symposia,
with my arguments,
the majority agree that,
after all, they will forgive people who have done bad things with them.
If you agree with the concept of forgiveness,
like most people do,
the next question is,
“Who do I need to forgive?”
There are three types of people you need to forgive:
1. You must forgive your parents.
You must forgive and set them free.
You must forgive them for every mistake they made in your upbringing.
Many children grow up with the irrational belief that their parents,
the most important people in their lives,
must be perfect and wise.
The truth is that your parents are ordinary people just like you,
making all kinds of mistakes
because of ignorance and inexperience.
You must forgive your parents
for every mistake they made in bringing you up.
You have to forgive them completely.
You even have to go and tell them that you forgive every word
and deed that has ever hurt you.
Free them and you will be free yourself.
2. You must forgive everyone who has ever hurt you,
any personal or professional relationship.
You must forgive even relationships
and marriages that confuse your mind and cause great pain.
You must forgive.
You must completely forgive all the people
whom you sometimes think of with negativity,
anger, and even a desire to punish them.
Remember, you don’t forgive for anyone else.
Forgiveness is an extremely selfish act.
You are forgiving yourself.
By forgiving them,
you are also liberating yourself.
3. Finally, you must forgive yourself.
You have to forgive yourself for the evil,
and stupid things you’ve done that hurt someone,
for some reason, at some point in your life.
Remember, the person you are today is not someone who has hurt others.
The person you are today is not the person who did things in the past.
Let go of it all
You must free yourself by forgiving every mistake you’ve ever made.
The truth is that deep down you are an extremely good person.
Any mistake you have ever made is due to the child’s immaturity
and lack of understanding.
But now that is over.
Those are all past events.
Forget it, and live the rest of your life.
As Helen Keller once said,
“When you face the Sun,
the shadows will fall behind you.”
The main job in life,
if you want to be a fully positive person,
is to let go of the past
and move towards the separate T-Side.
Be a completely positive person.
Think about what you want and need.
Think about the path you are on
and what you can achieve.
Think about your extraordinary nature
and the person you will become erroneous clause
I’ve worked with over a million people on these ideas.
Almost all of them agree that they will forgive,
and let go.
But at the same time,
they also plant seeds of self-destruction.
They say something like,
“I apologize to everyone who has ever hurt me for any reason.
I forgive and set them free.
Except for a particular person or situation.
All of these psychological, emotional,
and neurological problems can stem
from not being able to let go of a negative event
that still makes you angry and unforgiving.
Let me give you an example.
Imagine you order a brand new Mercedes-Benz from the workshop.
The car was delivered, perfect in every way,
except for one thing.
For some reason,
during the construction of the car,
engineers accidentally fitted a brake for a wrong front wheel.
So the brakes locked and the wheel couldn’t turn.
You sit in your brand new Mercedes-Benz and turn the lock.
The engine kicks in,
you shift gears,
and step on the accelerator.
What is going to happen?
Oh, if one of the front wheels is locked,
your beautiful car will just spin in one place.
You can turn the steering wheel and increase the throttle,
but the car will still rotate,
forcing you to stay in place.
The more you increase the gas,
the faster the engine and rear wheels will burn out.
Release the brake
So is your life.
If there’s a person you won’t forgive,
you’re still angry at that person,
it’s like a front wheel is locked.
Your life will just revolve.
You will quickly burn physically as well as mentally.
You will never be truly happy,
and will never make progress.
You will constantly think about this person
or this negative event,
year after year,
your invisible foot still stomping on the emotional brake.
This tacit truth is the key
to understanding neuropsychiatric diseases.
The very act of refusing to let go of one thing,
and often many things,
grips a person and traps him/her in the past.
there can be no progress.
What is the person
or thing that you cannot forget?
Whatever it is,
you have to have the courage to let go.
No matter how painful,
you still have to say the magic words “I forgive him/her
for everything. I free him/her.
Responsibility, control, and positive emotions
There is a direct relationship
between the level of responsibility you receive
and the degree of control you feel in your life.
Since almost all stress and negative emotions stem
from a feeling of loss of control,
as soon as you take responsibility for yourself,
you assert your ability to control yourself
and everything that happens to you.
There is a direct relationship
between taking responsibility,
feeling in control,
and positive emotions.
The more responsibility you take on
and the more you feel in control of your life,
the more positive you will feel about yourself and the world.
After all, there is a direct relationship
between positive emotions and happiness.
And the choice is entirely up to you.
When you blame someone for something,
you can’t control your emotions.
You give control of your emotions to the person you are blaming,
whether that person is aware of it or not.
By blaming someone else for something,
you allow that person to manipulate
and control your emotions
– from afar.
You give him control of your happiness
by refusing to forgive him.
And in many cases,
he doesn’t even know how much he controls your joy and happiness.
By complaining and criticizing others,
you see yourself as a “victim”.
By blaming others,
you make yourself feel small and weak,
resentful and inferior.
Instead of seeing yourself as an extremely responsible
and independent person,
you let yourself be controlled by others
and have no control over your own life and emotions.
When you blame others,
you become negative,
Is that what you think in your head?
Say magic words
The good news is that whenever you say the magic words,
“I’m in charge,”
you’re immediately back in control of your own emotions.
Whenever you experience a negative thought,
dismiss it immediately by saying,
“I take responsibility!”
Do this over and over again
until it becomes an easy and unconscious act.
Taking responsibility for yourself is the mark of a leader
who is successful and can assert himself.
Resolve today to be a fully responsible,
fully grown and fully functional person.
Just repeat the phrase “I take responsibility” over and over
and take it seriously.
This is the real key to positive thinking.
1. Resolve today to be a fully positive person.
Look for the good in everyone and every situation.
You will always find out.
2. Decide today to get rid of the negative emotions that get in the way of your joy.
Don’t think or talk about things that upset or upset you.
3. Forgive everyone who has hurt you.
Practice forgiveness by looking to the future.