Chapter 2: Pictures of myself
Even a brick wants to be something. ― Louis Kahn
Have you ever noticed that when you feel happy,
the people around you suddenly become so cute?
How did they change, don’t you find it funny?
The world around us is a reflection of ourselves.
When we hate ourselves, we hate others.
When we like ourselves, the world is wonderful.
Our self-image is the imprint that determines how we behave,
who we associate with and what we will and will not do.
Our thoughts and actions are rooted in the way we see ourselves.
The picture of ourselves will be colored by our experiences, our successes and failures,
our thoughts about ourselves, and the reactions of others to us.
Believe this image is real, we only live within these pictures.
So our self-image determines:
-We like everything around us and how much we enjoy living with it.
The degree of success we achieve in life.
We are who we believe we will be.
That’s why Dr. Maxwell Maltz, author of the best-selling book “Cybernetics – Psychology” wrote,
“The goal of all psychotherapy is to change an individual’s image of themselves”.
If you think you’re bad at math,
you’ll always have trouble with numbers.
Maybe because of bad experiences in the past,
you develop an attitude of saying,
“I can’t do math anyway.” So you don’t try.
Usually, you will go downhill faster and faster.
If you can do it, you will think: “It’s just luck”.
When you don’t succeed, you say, “See! That proves I can’t do it”.
You may even tell others that you can’t do addition.
The more you tell your brother, your husband, your neighbor,
or your banker that you can’t do it, the more you believe it,
and the more this image becomes ingrained in your mind.
The best way to predict your future is to create it. ― Abraham Lincoln
The first step to major improvement.
Our results are the way we think and talk about ourselves.
A slow learner can start learning faster as soon as he changes
Change your mind about your own abilities.
If your self-image tells you that you have good coordination,
you will learn certain new sports easily.
If you tell yourself you can’t do it,
you’ll waste time worrying that you’ll drop the ball and actually drop it.
As long as you think you are always empty,
you will always be short of money.
If you consider yourself a financial winner, you will always be full.
Self-image is like a thermometer that forces us to act on its scale.
Maybe Fred just wants to be happy 50% of the time.
So when he was happier, he thought,
“Wait! It can’t be that good! Anytime something bad can happen”.
When that happens,
Fred will take a deep breath and blurt out, “I knew it!”
What Fred doesn’t know is that there are other people in the world
who are unhappy all the time and there are people who are always happy.
We make our own lives according to our own image of our happiness.
What this means is that YOU DECIDE based on your self-image.
Where you are headed is more important than how fast you are going.
Rather than always focusing on what’s urgent,
learn to focus on what is really important. ― Stephen R. Covey
We often make decisions on our own merits and on the level of happiness we expect.
COMMENTARY, why not simply say thank you….?
Our self-image determines how focused we are, or what we allow ourselves to think.
A good self-image allows us to focus on our praises and the successes we have achieved.
This is no different from having a smart head.
Someone once commented: “Pride is a difficult disease to understand.
Everyone hates this habit except people with it”.
Selfishness and true self-love are diametrically opposed.
Selfishness and healthy self-love need to be distinguished.
Selfish people like to be the center of attention, like to be recognized and don’t care about those around them.
Every champion was once a contender that refused to give up. ― Rocky Balboa
Meanwhile, loving ourselves makes us more respectful of our own wishes as well as those of others.
It means that we can feel proud of ourselves for
what we have achieved without telling everyone and accepting our shortcomings to improve ourselves.