Art of Negotiation

Chapter 02. Overcoming the fear of negotiation

Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind.

Be led by the dreams in your heart. ― Roy T. Bennett

The key to getting a better deal is simply making an offer.

Please offer a lower price

or a better condition.

Propose amendments and changes to the agreement.

Offer to have an add-on,

discount,

incentive,

additional product

or service as part of a general agreement.

Make suggestions cheerfully with hope,

confidence,

and courtesy.

Be firm if you believe it will benefit yourself.

Always offer unequivocally

and clearly what you want.

Always ask why.

The future belongs to those who confidently

and boldly ask for what they want.

So why are so few people asking for what they want?

For many of us,

the reason is simply rooted in childhood.

It stems from a fear of rejection,

which is the result of scolding

or the lack of love from those

around us from an early age.

In the period of personality formation,

when not brought up in an adequate environment,

children grow up lacking self-esteem

and confidence in themselves.

They often don’t feel like they deserve a better deal

than what’s offered.

Fear of rejection can interfere

with a child’s adult life.

They will usually accept agreements,

working conditions,

rates

– both buying and selling

– not as profitable as it could have been,

simply out of fear of the other party saying no.

You can overcome your fear by taking the opposite action.

If you fear rejection

and will often passively accept the terms

and conditions offered,

you can overcome it

by repeatedly asking for a better deal,

even if the other person says “no” in the first place.

If you persist in doing it,

the fear in you will gradually decrease and disappear.

This is the process of “systematic desensitization”.

By facing your fear and repeating the things that scare you,

your fear will disappear.

If fear is a habit, so is courage.

By forcing yourself to act courageously,

especially when asking for better prices

and terms in a negotiation,

you will gradually build confidence

and self-esteem in yourself.

Building bravery through door to door sales

I learned an important lesson

when I started selling door-to-door.

At first,

I got rejected so many times that I didn’t expect it.

Nearly every door slammed shut before my eyes,

because I was always rejected,

even outright.

I have heard the word “no” hundreds,

even thousands of times.

One day,

I asked a seasoned salesman how he dealt

with these constant rejections.

He shared with me a way to neutralize them that to me,

it was like a miracle:

“Being rejected by others is not necessarily our fault.”

Don’t view rejection

as a personal matter.

In a negotiation,

when someone says “no” to your request,

it doesn’t reflect your personal abilities or values.

It doesn’t define you as good or bad.

In the rejecter’s mind,

it’s just a response to an offer of some kind.

Once I understood this crucial point,

I became a professional salesman.

I can confidently go door to door,

convincing each person to buy a product.

No matter how many times I get rejected,

I just smile.

I realized that the people

who refused didn’t judge me by that rejection.

It’s simply their natural reaction

when someone suggests something uncertain

and they need more time to think.

Rejection is not necessarily related to me.

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Empire building

One of my symposium attendees was a former construction worker in Phoenix.

He wants to buy back old houses

and rent them out for enough money to pay the mortgage

and make a small profit.

However, he did not have much money to start this plan.

He started by looking for homes

that were for sale “by the owner”

instead of through the real estate agencies

that were featured in the newspapers.

He called the homeowners

and made an appointment to see them.

If he is satisfied,

he will negotiate

with the landlord a 50% discount compared

to the asking price.

Some people are very angry.

Others went mad.

But as always,

there is usually one in 20 homeowners who are struggling

and eager to sell.

Some of them have failed in business,

others have lost their jobs,

are in the process of divorce,

bankruptcy,

or have decided to move elsewhere.

The only thing holding them back is to sell the house.

Thus, for every 19 rejections,

he will meet someone who agrees to reduce the price

to about 60% or 70% of the original price,

which is somewhat consistent with his original offer.

After several years of consistently receiving rejections,

he now owns 42 homes

and now earns over $10,000 a month.

He’s on his way to becoming a millionaire

and it’s all thanks to accepting rejections

when making offers to buy.

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Negotiation is a game

Treat negotiation like a game.

Don’t be so quick to take it as a joke,

serious but just like a game.

In fact, it’s one of the big games in life.

Your task is to be skillful to win that game

by progressing

and becoming more proficient every day.

Top negotiators pursue negotiations anytime,

anywhere.

They bargain and bargain

because for them it is a pleasure.

When you begin to view negotiation as a fun activity,

along with remaining calm,

confident,

and cheerful,

you will seize the opportunity to negotiate in your favor no matter what

and at all everywhere.

Show up early,

treat people with respect 

and perform at the highest levels

till the world can’t deny you. – Grant Cardone