Things Harvard Doesn’t Teach You
Chapter 3. Make others know you
A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed. — Henrik Ibsen
In 1964, I was walking the streets of Seattle with comedian Bob Hope
when a woman approached Hope and said,
“Do you remember me?
We met in Cincinnati two years ago.”
Hope was very polite,
but he clearly had no idea who the woman was.
After she left,
Hope turned to me and said,
“Can you believe it,
I see 10,000 people a year,
and yet two years later a woman comes in
and thinks I can remember her name? me!”
I myself am a very poor name remember
and I assume everyone else must be too.
So, even if I meet a person many times,
but if I’m not sure they know my name,
I will start the meeting by introducing myself.
This is just a small detail,
but it is an important factor to make an impression.
You can learn a lot about people’s personalities
from the little things they say and do.
Therefore, it is the little things that you say
and do that often make the most lasting impression.
In business,
the statements you make about yourself,
whether consciously or unknowingly,
are the basis for other people’s judgments about you.
Things like how you dress, talk on the phone,
work efficiency,
how you write letters,
say hello,
and so on,
all affect the impression you make on others
they’ll guess who you are how to do
And so,
you can make people see you the way you want.
This is also a kind of clever manipulation.
One of life’s great obstacles is
that people don’t do what you want them to do.
But if you can control other people’s impressions of you,
you’ll make them want to do what you want.
Every business situation has a mutual assessment
between the parties.
Each side is secretly trying to influence the other.
The side that is able to manipulate the impressions
of others will be the winner,
not only in the short term but also in the long run.
A friend of mine calls this communication process
“the show of force in business.”
In terms of its meaning and impact,
the term is acceptable,
but it cannot fully describe the subtleties of this process.
Obviously, no one accepts to be dominated and controlled.
Therefore, the most effective managers need to impress in discreet ways.
With simple actions or gestures,
but if something unusual happens,
people will notice.
In particular,
in negotiations,
the choice of words when speaking is a way
that can completely turn the tide.
Even adding or subtracting just a few words can make a big difference.
For example,
when expressing disagreement,
if you say:
“I agree” before “but…” will make the other person feel respected,
and you will still stand your ground.
Once, I went to lunch with Ray Cave,
editor of Time magazine.
Upon arrival,
Ray happily greeted the restaurant manager:
“Nice to see you again!”
The manager was delighted and immediately led us to the table.
After he left,
I asked Ray,
“I think you said you’ve never eaten here before?”
“Of course,” he said.
A colleague of Ray Cave,
Patricia Ryan, editor of People magazine,
said that if she went to lunch with a partner,
she would order a glass of whiskey,
not mineral water.
She rarely drinks alcohol,
but by doing so,
she will make a deep impression on her partners,
making them understand
that she is here to discuss serious business.
To make a smart impression,
people must be self-aware,
distinguishing the impression
they make from the impression they want to make.
Those who are conceited,
ostentatious,
and boastful about themselves do indeed make strong impressions,
however,
most of the time it’s bad.
But anyway,
being aware of your own mistakes is better
than not being aware of yourself.
Have you ever had a case where a manager,
having trouble booking a plane,
yelled at the ticket salesman?
He acted wrongly because he was the only person
who had the right to let him on the plane,
while he made himself hate.
It is the syndrome
“The greatest enemy of life is oneself”.
Even if you have something to say
but say it in a boring tone or manner,
no one will listen to you.
Be aware of your opportunities to make a good impression
and also those that can make you make a bad impression on others.
If the people around you are giving you advice to slow down
or to take it easy,
you are surrounded by the wrong people. – Grant Cardone
Making a good impression on others is simply treating them
the way they want and not doing
what they don’t like.
Your ability to impress will help you hide your imperfections.
If you know how to take advantage of every opportunity
to make people have a good impression
that you are a competent,
efficient,
mature
and fair person the right kind of person with
whom they want to build a business relationship
then they will ignore the mistakes you make sometimes.
*******
CONTRARY TO THE EXPECTATIONS OF OTHERS
If you don’t conquer self,
you will be conquered by self. ― Napoleon Hill
Consider acting contrary to the expectations of others.
Usually, it will achieve a significant effect.
If people expect a tough response from you,
a simple comment,
Modesty will have amazing effects.
If a negotiation is expected to be difficult,
making concessions on a minor point would be a good way to start.
Given what other people think you want from them,
the more you need to act like you don’t want to.
For example, recently,
we really wanted to sign a TV star who was quite private.
She knew that and waited for us to make an offer first.
But instead of begging or persuading,
during our first meeting,
I tactfully told her a little bit about myself and our company.
After that, we had a lively discussion about her career
and the opportunities she would have if she partnered with us.
I didn’t even mention wanting to represent her.
Of course, that made her start to wonder
why we didn’t pursue her more aggressively
and interestingly,
she started pursuing us.
If people assume that I know a lot about an issue,
in the first few minutes of the meeting,
I will show the opposite.
That at least makes other people less cautious,
and in general,
the less I appear to know,
the easier it is for them to open up.
On the other hand,
if people think I don’t know anything,
I’ll just casually blurt out a few remarks to let them know
that I know more than they think.
In international business relations there are always language barriers
to some extent,
they are effectively used.
Americans,
perhaps a nation less concerned with foreign languages
than most nations,
are particularly vulnerable to language barriers,
and in fact,
foreign managers often take advantage of this. .
On the other hand,
if a clever American businessman used a few perfect sentences
in his opponent’s native language,
he would gain a very useful advantage.
The culture and customs in different regions
of each country are also very interesting.
A person from one region to another doing business often feels guilty
about what he considers his own weakness.
Whenever there is a stark cultural contrast
between the city and the province,
between the entertainment industry and the financial sector
someone can benefit.
I have seen a few people go against their own culture and customs.
We have a relationship
with a very successful sports advertiser in Japan,
Atsushi Fujita.
Sometimes he has very unconventional methods.
A few years ago,
when Fujita was representing the Japanese television industry broadcasting
the Rose Bowl University football tournament,
one of the country’s television companies came to negotiate directly
with the Rose Bowl Committee.
When Fujita learned of this,
he took his daughter along the same night
and drove to meet the president of that television company.
Standing on the doorstep of the president’s house,
holding his little daughter’s hand,
Fujita said that if they didn’t withdraw,
he would lose face in America.
Two days later,
he regained the broadcast rights to the Rose Bowl.
********
LETTER IS A OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU TO EXPRESS YOURSELF
A good first impression can work wonders. — J. K. Rowling
Correspondence both internally and externally
is one of the most popular opportunities for you to introduce yourself
to the business community.
I pay close attention to all the letters I send.
It must be carefully typed,
beautifully presented.
In business,
there are very few things that you can do to your liking,
but this is an exception.
So when I heard the secretary say,
“That’s also close enough,”
I was very upset.
Subconsciously,
correspondence makes a strong impression on
how you manage your business,
so I don’t want people to think that I manage “approximately”.
This is a simple and obvious occasion for me to prove otherwise.
I always try to take the time to bring a personal touch to every letter
whether it’s just a sentence or a few paragraphs.
It could be about the recipient’s preferences,
which have nothing to do with,
or have little to do with the subject of the letter.
Maybe it’s a new deal he’s won,
or his interest in the local football team,
or some family questions.
It could also be a show of support
hoping that his job goes well
or wishing him a good holiday.
If you personalize a cover letter,
that will make a very good impression.
It will certainly catch people’s attention,
because they will wonder,
“How did he know that?”
and show that you took the time to prepare.
I also have a long list of people to
whom I send Christmas cards and presents every year.
People are often immersed in their busy work
and don’t care or even notice it.
A lot of people have done that,
and so I do the opposite.
Sample letters that are too objective make a big impact on you.
I have never heard anyone say,
“I received a great sample letter today!”
There’s nothing worse than a letter that begins with:
“Sir” and ends with a typed
(often misspelled) name and a photo signature!
Marking “private and confidential” on an envelope
without a good reason is sure to make an immediate bad impression.
Lies never make a good impression.
If you have to use two words
privacy and secrecy” to get someone to read your letter,
you probably make many other mistakes.
If used at the right time,
speed also attracts attention.
The telegraph and telex services are more important than ordinary correspondence.
They are sent directly to the recipient, not through the secretary.
********
ASSESSMENT THROUGH PEOPLE
Destiny is the result of all your actions
and the impressions that you have taken in. — Jaggi Vasude
As we see,
the secretary is your main point of contact with the outside world,
people will judge you by the way she treats them.
If she speaks curtly,
people will think you are curt.
If she reveals a secret,
people will assume you can’t keep it.
If she says this or that on your behalf,
you’ll be seen as a talker yourself.
If she’s annoying and bossy,
people think you’re like that too.
The secretary of a leading British television station manager
was always making it difficult for me to see her boss.
I made an appointment to see him anytime within two weeks,
but she kept telling my secretary that her boss was “very busy.”
However, when I met him in person,
it turned out that this was not the case.
In fact, the secretary plays a certain “protective” role.
They can act as a front for you against others,
allowing you to be more proactive in responding
to a variety of business situations.
Often it is as simple as saying,
“Sorry who called?” or “Who is it?”
Secretaries often behave like soldiers,
and many bosses are pleased with their secretary’s curt demeanor,
even encouraging it.
Perhaps, these people think
that this kind of curtsy makes them seem more important.
Of course, this applies to all subordinates.
If they work directly with you,
people will certainly judge you,
at least to some extent, by the way these people behave.
So if you see them with flaws,
for your own sake, show them.
*********
SERIOUS OUTDOORS
The harder you try,
the better the impression you set on the people around you. — Tom Holland
The way you dress makes a strong
and immediate impression on who you are.
In general, you should dress modestly.
If you think you can judge people by their clothes,
others will think so too.
Obviously, the more discreet your office attire,
the harder it will be for people to guess you.
Meeting attendees in streetwear,
such as slippers,
open-breasted shirts,
and ostentatious gold chains,
can make people look unfriendly.
We once recruited an employee
who, on his first day of work,
wore beautiful ash gray pants,
a silk shirt without a tie,
and a dark blue jacket.
I had to ask his department head to explain to him
that such business attire was inappropriate.
Most of our clients are between the ages of 20 and 30,
especially tennis players who often come
to meetings dressed in very comfortable clothing.
Almost all of them are millionaires and we manage their money:
we collect it,
manage it and invest it.
They wanted our company’s directors to look more like bankers
than tennis players,
even though the athletes were well dressed.
Coco Chanel, the founder of the famous fashion house Chanel,
made a very reasonable assessment:
If a woman dresses badly,
you will notice the outfit,
but if the woman dresses well,
you will let her to herself.
Similarly, advice for business managers,
male or female,
is this:
The general rule of thumb is don’t let your work clothes reveal anything about
who you are
it’s just the right clothes.
never mind.
*********
EXACTLY EVERY SECOND
Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom
and self-control what lies in our power to do,
it lies in our power not to do. ― Aristotle
Every time I establish a new business relationship,
I create situations to present myself as the exact person every second.
I promised to call at 10 o’clock and at that time I would.
I promise my letter will be on their desk next Monday morning,
and it will be.
I will be at the appointment on time as I said.
When you do this in relation to your new partner,
they’ll assume that’s how you behave at work.
Moreover, they will follow suit
and you will get the same timely responses as they get from you.
*********
DON’T MAKE MYSELF A TIME STORY
The most commonly heard complaint of managers is lack of time.
For them, a day is too short to solve everything.
Therefore, they are also not aware of other people’s time.
The fastest way to make a lasting bad impression is
to waste other people’s time:
wasting time or wasting more time than necessary.
If you have nothing to say,
don’t hold a meeting.
A person who values time will respond to
“I just want to see you”
by never letting you see them again.
Don’t let people waste time in your office.
It’s annoying to wait in someone’s office
while he’s busy talking on the phone.
And it’s even more frustrating to endure those silly phone calls
that he could easily have ended by replying,
“I’m busy in a meeting,
I’ll call back later!”
If you are forced to answer the phone when
When you receive a customer in the office,
apologize to the guest
and then quickly end the call.
There are three exceptions:
one is when you are teaching a subordinate on the phone
or giving face-to-face instruction in a particular situation;
second is when the call is related to a meeting;
Three is the person you talk to on the phone
who can make a good impression on the person you’re dealing with.
Around the early 1970s,
I once contacted US Vice President Spiro Agnew
when he wanted to ask me
to represent him on the copyright issue of one of his short stories.
His office asked where they could contact me.
I spoke either at the hotel or in the office of A. C. Spectorski,
then editor of Playboy magazine.
And while I was meeting with Spectorski in his office,
the secretary called in and said,
“The Vice President is on the line waiting for Mr. McCormack!”
Although the phone call had nothing to do with the work at hand,
from that moment on,
our meeting seemed to matter a lot.
******
“HOME YARD”
Excellence is never an accident.
It is always the result of high intention,
sincere effort, and intelligent execution;
it represents the wise choice of many alternatives,
choice, not chance, determines your destiny. ― Aristotle
At some point, one of the best sales techniques was going
to a customer’s office to meet them.
Sometimes, we are forced to do so because of ritual,
or because of circumstances.
But in general, the most ideal condition to negotiate is to meet in your office.
This is not necessarily because of your “superior office”
but in the “home yard”,
because then you will have an advantage over your partner.
Even if it’s just a small room,
playing at home is the best.
First of all, it’s your “stage”.
At your office, you can control the meeting.
In addition, because it is your “home field”,
the partner will easily feel overwhelmed,
which will lead to psychological stress,
even if they are clever to cover it up.
At this point,
just be polite and make them feel comfortable
that you can relieve that mentality,
making them more confident
even though the meeting has not yet started.
********
DO WHAT YOU PROMISE
Your success will be compromised
by your need to be liked by everyone. – Grant Cardone
Dow Finsterwald, a former PGA champion,
once asked me to help find a printout of an autographed painting
by artist Leroy Neiman of him competing with Arnold Palmer.
I asked my manager to do it again because he knew Neiman.
A month later,
I called the manager again to remind me of this,
and learned that he had forgotten about it.
A week later, we sent the painting away.
In business,
promises are made all the time but almost never fulfilled,
which invisibly creates a very bad impression.
If you say you will do something,
do it.
If you can’t do it,
think it’s “beneficial”
or don’t want to do it,
don’t say you will.
Use excuses to apologize,
but never say,
“I’ll try!”
You should at least give the impression
that you tried and failed.
If you say you’ll call back tomorrow and then you don’t,
it will have a huge impact on your entire relationship.
In business,
there’s no rule that you have to call back,
so don’t commit to it.
It is foolish to make a statement on behalf of the company,
because the company may not support you.
Years ago,
someone from the sports equipment company Wilson Sporting Goods assured Arnold Palmer
that he could terminate his contract with Wilson at any time.
Years later,
when Arnold and Wilson’s relationship began to falter,
I decided to test that commitment.
When Arnold had lunch with Bill Holmes,
director of Wilson,
I asked:
“If Arnold wants to terminate the contract with Wilson company,
is it okay?”
Holmes, perplexed, replied: “No!”
From this,
both Arnold and I learned a great lesson.
We believed that a person working
for a certain company must say
what he said on behalf of the company.
In the end,
Arnold became frustrated with Wilson
and terminated the contract.
*********
PERFORMANCE RECOGNIZING BEHAVIOR
You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth. ― William W. Purkey
Acts in business are often done on behalf of
or at the request of someone
in order to bind them in one way or another.
It is possible that both sides are unaware of this purpose.
You may have a crush on an associate and genuinely want to help him,
but it is the binding nature of business behavior
that makes it different from a friendly behavior.
Again, tact is key.
The more a help is seen as a “debt”,
the less effective it is.
I used to have relationships with managers
who seemed to keep a record of favors given and received.
With these people,
help them and never ask them for anything.
They think that “ratio” is very important
and will find every opportunity to “balance the score”.
There are three types of behavior in business:
those that are easily overlooked,
ignored, or misunderstood;
the type of behavior is randomly recorded;
and the type of behavior that is appreciated in the long run.
The first category includes all the behaviors
that go unnoticed or cause you to be blamed.
For example,
when you help someone’s partner through a difficult situation,
but that person doesn’t know it.
You can’t expect the person to appreciate the act
if they don’t know anything.
So, for your own sake,
you must tell them,
in the most casual way
every time you do something for them
(“Last week, I spent some time with your assistant”
or “I told him how much we owe you”).
Obvious graces also fall into this category.
If it’s too obvious,
people can easily get it wrong
(or get it right) and it will be explicitly binding.
But sometimes “please hold a grudge”.
There are times when someone asks you to buy a shirt,
a golf club, or a ticket to a game,
and then when you buy it,
they’ll say the color doesn’t match,
the size doesn’t fit,
the swing weight doesn’t work yes,
the seats are not good and you are blamed.
In addition, this category includes “goodwill” help
(for example,
things we do for them without their knowledge).
Your goodwill doesn’t always align with the interests of others,
which can make them uncomfortable or unappreciated,
which in turn makes you uncomfortable as well.
The latter is usually time-related
the time it takes to meet someone, have lunch with them,
and so on,
when in reality it only takes 5 minutes of talking to them,
either by phone or by letter.
One of the ways to help others “remember”
the most is to act as a mediator for both parties,
even if there is no immediate benefit to you.
Both sides will remember your work together.
The most important thing about helping
or showing goodwill to someone,
big or small, long-term or short-term,
is that if you made a promise then either keep it,
or have to explain to them why you cannot be performed.
In business, people often remember promises for a long time,
especially broken or broken promises.
Here are the behaviors and gestures people appreciate,
acknowledge,
and reciprocate:
Do something for the kids
Sometimes the behaviors that make the most impact are indirect.
When I was in elementary school,
my son Todd was very fond of football.
An associate of mine arranged for Todd
to meet Minnesota Vikings defender Fran Tarkenton.
Todd was delighted
and I will never forget that.
So if you want to make a good impression on a client or client,
do something for their children.
It means so many times more to that person than anything you can do for themselves.
Take the time to get to know their family.
Five or six years ago,
Fujita learned
that the daughter of one of his business associates,
the manager of a Japanese airline,
loved tennis and idolized the athlete Martina Navratilova.
Recently, Fujita is promoting the women’s tennis tournament in Tokyo.
With that in mind,
he phoned the manager,
now the director of the Japan Airlines branch in Europe,
to inform him that Martina Navratilova would be participating in the tournament
and asked if his daughter would like to participate come to Japan
as a personal instructor for this athlete.
The daughter immediately accepted,
and her father was very grateful to Fujita.
Indeed, there is no better way to strengthen ties
with the Japanese airline than this.
Help others to solve the mystery
People often agree to do something and then,
for unexpected reasons,
they can’t or don’t even want to do it anymore.
Maybe circumstances have changed;
new information causes them to change their mind,
or be rejected by their superiors.
Therefore, if we know how to recognize external factors
and help them remove the mystery,
in the long run,
we will bring many benefits to ourselves and the company.
Our company used to contract with Wilkinson Sword Company.
In the mid-1970s,
Wilkinson was going through a rough patch,
and Chris Lewinton,
the company’s chief executive,
came up to me and said,
“Mark, we’re having a hard time
and I have to ask you to ease it,
quite a bit of the fee we had to pay.”
Without hesitation,
I told him there was no problem.
Years later,
when Wilkinson recovered,
not only did our fees rise to make up for the former,
but our relationship expanded further
when Wilkinson was acquired by Allegheny International.
Thus, the inevitable result of “helping others untangle” is “to change their mind”.
Many times we cannot escape the temptation of saying,
“But he said…” or “But he promised…”
If you try to take a few minutes to listen to
why the person wants to change his mind and then
If you put it in the context of global relationships,
you’ll find that allowing them to change will benefit both of you.
Flexible negotiation
Expanding an existing business relationship is always easier than starting a new one.
By making a good impression,
you will make others want to work with you for a long time.
To do so, you need to know how to negotiate flexibly in all cases.
A business associate of mine is Kerry Packer,
who owns Channel 9,
Australia’s largest commercial broadcaster.
A few years ago,
Kerry’s friend David Frost called him
to sell the rights to the upcoming Nixon interview tapes in Australia.
Frost has invested a lot of money in this project
and wants to get the capital back urgently.
He offered Kerry $175k,
but Kerry replied
cannot pay more than $160,000.
The two argued on the phone and failed to resolve the issue.
An impasse like this,
especially between friends,
can end in disaster.
Finally, David honestly said, “Kerry,
I really need $175k.
And I’m sure the tapes are worth the money.”
Packer was silent for a long time and said,
“I have an idea,
David!
I have a coin,
let’s try to play tails…
Tell me!” On the other end of the line,
David hesitated:
“Okay,”
Packer said:
“Heads, you win.”
So where are your personal interests,
immediate benefits or long-term relationships?
Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is negotiate flexibly.
Legitimate flattery
It is very easy for people to pick up on false flattery and it can backfire.
But righteous flattery appreciating
and recognizing the real talent of a person in business from
which you benefit
can be particularly amusing.
So if you think someone has acted smart
and it works for you,
tell them how smart you think they are.
(But don’t tell someone to be smart just
because they buy from you.
This is fake flattery and instead of trust,
they’ll suspect you.)
One of the most sensible
and effective forms of flattery is to make the person
you flatter look good in the eyes of their co-workers.
A few years ago,
when Noel Morris was managing director of Slazenger in Australia,
I tried to tie the contracts of athletes Gary Player
and Jack Nicklaus to his tenure as executive.
He is very satisfied by the benefits
and opportunities of Player
and Nicklaus will be directly attached to him,
and on our side, there is no problem
when a senior leader like Morris directly cares about the interests
of customers our goods.
Make friend
Assuming the goods are of equal value,
people will always buy from friends.
Otherwise, people still buy from friends.
So let’s make friends!
You don’t have to be best friends
with every business partner.
But give them a call from time to time,
ask about their current situation,
and show concern.
In our industry,
it’s important to call a client
and ask how he was doing this weekend.
It’s so simple,
but sometimes we forget
how much it means to our personal relationships.
When we’ve been in the business for a few years
and are representing Arnold,
Gary and Jack,
I know very well how well our company does
and surpasses any other consulting firm.
Therefore, any golfer who wants the best job should come to us.
What I don’t notice is that
many rising golfers don’t know our range or representation.
And if they did, our waiting
and indifferent attitude would be seen
as cold and arrogant by them.
We don’t take the time to attend tournaments and get to know people.
Most other consulting firms did this,
so in the 1970s many of the best
and young golf talents signed with other managers.
If you do not make friends,
accept business relations with neutrals and enemies.
If you don’t know how to keep a friendship,
you have to stay ahead of everyone else in the competition.
Advisors and good friends
Advisors and good friends will bring you fruitful relationships in business.
They both want to buy from you,
help you through tough times,
and show support whenever possible.
“Consulting a mentor” is simply a matter of seeking advice
and guidance from someone you trust and respect.
Many times the line between giving advice
and helping will completely disappear.
Having a good friend doesn’t mean divulging professional
or company secrets to them.
It means you can share your feelings privately at any time,
provide them with useful information,
or encourage the person to confide in you.
I know David Foster,
the former president of Colgate,
wants to “play” the advertising agency for his company,
especially when Colgate invests heavily in golf sponsorship.
I gave him all the information
I had about professional golf,
so he knew the advertising opportunities for Colgate in this field
before even its advertising agency.
It didn’t do any harm to me,
but it did help Foster achieve his goals.
After that,
we did a lot of business with Colgate.
Keep secret
In business operations,
confidentiality is very important.
People may like what you say,
but in their hearts,
in terms of credibility,
they disagree with the action.
If one of our managers told Chris Evert Lloyd everything
that rival Martina Navratilova was up to,
how could Chris not be skeptical:
“What would he tell Martina about himself?”
It’s simple: if you trespass on a secret,
the act will come back to haunt you.
It’s one of those business lessons that most people learn
Anyone who stumbles will have to pay a heavy price.
One of our financial managers was once talking
to tennis player Virginia Wade about some other client’s activities.
Virginia cleverly sought to get more information.
However, she later recounted the incident to me
and advised me to speak to the manager.
I followed suit and now he is much more careful.
In our work there is a rule that
when you mention a client’s name in a letter,
you must know that the customer will read it.
If the letter mentions John Havlicek and John Madden,
both Havlicek and Madden must know it.
Even if you know that person is very loyal
and that it is in your personal interest to do so,
do not assume that they will fully respect your request
for confidentiality,
even if it is a written commitment.
In business,
even if you have nothing to hide,
you should still be cautious.
We used to have an important client.
When his relationship with the outside consultant was in trouble,
he told us he was trying to push the counselor away
and consult with us.
We made the mistake of telling the advisor
and misjudged his influence,
thereby angering him to the point of damaging our relationship
with the client.
We should have remained neutral and silent.
Obviously, carelessness
and disclosure of secrets always lead to troubles
that in many cases will have unpredictable consequences.
**********
THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSONAL ADVANTAGE IN BUSINESS
We are all in the gutter,
but some of us are looking at the stars. ― Oscar Wilde
The real answer here is how you perceive the nature of things.
If you haven’t had this,
you never will, and what I say here doesn’t change the facts.
If this perception is not taken into account,
the most important advantage in business is a sense of humour,
the ability to be self-conscious about oneself or the situation.
Laughter is the most powerful and effective source of power
to relieve business stress.
So be funny.
If you can bring out the humor
or irony of a situation or confrontation,
you can relieve tension
by getting the other person to share your feelings,
giving you an advantage.
This is an absolute rule in business.
I have never seen it fail.
John Kennedy understood this very well.
He placates Congress and the press
– two always hostile forces
– with a sense of humor that is sometimes his only advantage.
Except for Kennedy,
no president was really aware of this.
A sense of humor makes one of the most lasting and positive impressions.
A sarcastic,
self-deprecating comment can instantly make people see
that you don’t put your ego first,
and that’s what they’ll remember.
It’s also the best way to start a meeting.
You don’t have to make everyone laugh,
but starting with a light witty joke will create a favorable atmosphere
for the meeting.
Finally, a sense of humor helps us rethink things to get an overview,
which is very easy to lose in the business world,
when profit is blinded.
Ford has gone through hard times,
trying to close factories to cut costs,
including factories in Massachusetts and Texas.
Robert McNamara, then chairman of Ford,
convened a meeting of board members
to discuss a proposal to close one more plant.
Everyone in the company opposed this idea,
but the accountants made predictions
so pessimistic that no one dared to speak.
Finally, Charlie Beacham,
a veteran member, said:
“Why don’t we close all the factories to save money?”
Only then did people talk about it.
In the end, the decision to close the factory was delayed for a while
and the airline returned to normal operations.
**********
BE YOURSELF
Be yourself;
everyone else is already taken. ― Oscar Wilde
Everyone has or should have certain principles of living and working.
But it is also because of the “principle” that people make more mistakes.
It is often an excuse to cover up a damaged ego.
In many cases,
it is perfectly acceptable to act in the name of a wounded ego.
But don’t call it a rule if it’s not.
That is a very dangerous form of self-deception.
When it comes to cheating, there’s a big difference
between acting and playing a role that’s not true to yourself.
If you are in a situation
where you have to choose between acting or being yourself,
choose the latter.
In business, people often make plays.
If you always show your ego with “all flaws”
then you will have a hard time succeeding.
The trick is to show your best side by playing a role
that showcases your strongest business qualities
and hides your weakest sides.
In many cases,
our worst enemies are people
who can’t tell the difference
between honesty and tact.
People often distort the saying:
“Honest is not always”
study is the top book”.
I think this is wrong because it implies that in business
it is sometimes okay to lie.
It would be more accurate and appropriate to say,
“I can be delicately honest,” that is,
to tell the truth in a way
that neither offends others nor harms oneself.
Another extreme is the excessive desire to please others.
They say things they cannot deliver
and promise things they cannot fulfill.
Once you fail to keep your promise,
you will be seen as powerless
and give the impression that you are a “liar”.
***********
EMOTIONAL CONTROL
Do what you can, with what you have,
where you are. ― Theodore Roosevelt
Most of us have to do a lot of things at once and because of that,
it is easy for us to let our emotions from one thing to another.
If we fail in an important negotiation,
we have a hard time hiding our disappointment
when we meet our next guest.
Or if you’re feeling pressed,
angry emotions can interfere
with a call or meeting.
The advice for this case is to be clear at work,
try to control the emotions of an issue to a certain extent.
However, this is not easy,
so the relative solution is to divide a day,
a week by work
replying to mail in the morning,
answering the phone in the afternoon,
limiting meetings to specific tasks to certain days, etc.
You must actively work,
not let the circumstances dictate.
I rarely answer the phone
but always call them back.
As the caller,
you’ll be less irritable than
if a phone call interrupts what you’re doing.
After all,
clearly organizing work is also a conscious process
of creating some emotional distance
between oneself and the situation.
*********
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE PERFECT
Do not judge me by my successes,
judge me by how many times
I fell down and got back up again. ― Nelson Mandela
I convinced John Delorean,
then the head of Pontiac,
that the company should link the image of the Pontiac
to the American ski team with a big contract.
We agreed to meet in a few weeks at the Pontiac advertising agency MacManus,
John and Adams,
in Detroit to discuss the details and sign the contract.
By the day of the meeting,
I was ready.
At the other end of the table is a Delorean executive from Detroit,
one of the most influential people in the auto industry;
At the other end of the table was me,
the young sportsman from Cleveland.
In the middle are the MacManus executives with very nervous looks.
I had the deal and felt like I couldn’t fail.
The meeting started at 9 o’clock.
When the story turned to the specific issue of linking the American ski team to Pontiac,
I actually opened the throttle.
After adding a few suggestions,
I began a monologue about associating the ski team
with the Pontiac’s Indian head symbol,
which had been the symbol of the Pontiac for many years.
As I spoke,
I noticed that everyone was looking from me to Delorean.
The fact that Delorean
and the others showed no expression made me feel like I should stop.
After several minutes of silence,
Delorean smiled:
“Mark, you’re studying us too well!
Pontiac just spent over $3 million
to remove the Indian head emblem and design a new logo.”
In the end, the contract was signed,
but I learned a valuable lesson that
I should never attend a meeting
without such preparation again.
I once heard someone say,
“Everyone makes mistakes from time to time.
Only when these mistakes are repeated do they become a mistake.”
You don’t have to be perfect,
but you have to learn from your mistakes.
No matter how much it may seem otherwise
no one has control of your life but you. – Grant Cardone
