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7 habits of successful young people! Listening To Understand And To Be Understood

Habit 5: Listening To Understand And To Be Understood

July 25th

Before I want to put on someone else’s shoes,

I have to take off my own. – Noname

July 26th

“A positive mind finds a way it can be done;

a negative mind looks for all the ways it can’t be done.” — Napoleon Hill

The secret in communicating

and creating attraction for others can be summed up as follows:

“Listen to understand”.

July 27th

“The starting point of all achievement is desire.”— Napoleon Hill

Why is this habit the secret to reaching others?

It is because the deepest human need is to be understood.

Everyone wants to be respected and recognized by others.

July 28th

“Focus on the possibilities for success,

not on the potential for failure.”— Napoleon Hill

They will not reveal their weaknesses

unless they feel the sincere love

and understanding of the other person.

July 29th

“Burn the boats as you enter the island

and you will take the island.”— Napoleon Hill

Have you ever heard the saying,

“People don’t care how much you know

until they know how much you care about them”?

This is true.

If someone doesn’t listen or understand you,

do you pay attention to what they say?

July 30th

“Time is valuable, and when it is gone,

it is gone.

Time is wealth,

and unlike money,

when it is gone, you cannot replace it.” — Napoleon Hill

Listen please

When I ask you to listen to me,

You begin to advise all kinds of things

don’t listen to me.

When I ask you to listen to me,

You start pouring out arguments,

trample on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me,

You think you have to do something

to solve my problem.

You disappointed me.

Listen please,

that’s all I want.

Don’t say or do anything, just listen.

July 31st

“Start going the extra mile

and opportunity will follow you.”— Napoleon Hill

Five types of bad hearing:


Pretend to listen

Listen selectively

Just listen to words

Listen subjectively

August 1st

“Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice,

and is never the result of selfishness.”— Napoleon Hill


Don’t act distracted when someone is talking to you.

Maybe they’re talking about something important,

but we’re not paying attention and so we can’t hear them.

August 2nd

“Control your own mind,

and you may never be controlled by the mind of another.”— Napoleon Hill

Pretend to listen

If you don’t pay much attention

to what the other person is saying,

but also pretend to be listening attentively

by responding with filler words like: “yes”,

“huh”, “that’s cool”, “sounds great” “etc.

The speaker will eventually notice

and they will feel that their words are not worth hearing.

August 3rd

“You can be anything you want to be,

if only you believe with sufficient conviction

and act in accordance with your faith;

for whatever the mind can conceive and believe,

it can achieve.”— Napoleon Hill

Listen selectively

If you only listen to what you want to say

instead of what others want to say,

you will certainly not be able

to build lasting friendships as a result.

August 4th

“Persistence is to the character of man as carbon is to steel.”— Napoleon Hill

Just listen to words

This often happens when we just listen attentively

to what others say

but do not pay attention to the way it is said,

the feelings and what is hidden behind it.

As a result,

we will rarely touch the deepest thoughts of a person’s heart.

August 5th

Life is a mirror of your consistent thoughts.”— Napoleon Hill

Listen subjectively

That’s when we just see things from our own point of view.

The catchphrase for this type of hearing is,

“Oh, I know exactly how you feel.”

In fact, we don’t know how they’re feeling,

we just know exactly how we feel,

and we assume they feel the same way.

August 6th

“Achieve self-mastery over your thoughts,

and constantly direct them toward your goals and objectives.

Learn to focus your attention on the goals that you want to achieve

and on finding ways to achieve those goals.”— Napoleon Hill

Listen judgmentally

When we are so busy judging others,

we don’t listen to their words.

And so we missed the opportunity

to make a deposit in the relationship account with them.

August 7th

“Think twice before you speak,

because your words

and influence will plant the seed of either success

or failure in the mind of another.”— Napoleon Hill

Listen and advise

The little sister didn’t need any advice from her well-meaning brother,

no matter how good or bad it was.

She just needed to be heard.

Only when she felt she was heard would

she be ready to accept his brother’s advice.

August 8th

“Failure cannot cope with persistence.”— Napoleon Hill

Listen and explore

No one wants to be questioned.

If you ask a lot of questions and get nothing,

you are probably probing.

Sometimes people are not mentally prepared

to open up and don’t want to talk.

Learn to be a good listener at the right times.

August 9th

“It is literally true that you can succeed best

and quickest by helping others to succeed.”— Napoleon Hill

To be able to listen sincerely,

you first need to listen with your eyes,

your heart, and your ears as well.

August 10th

“A positive mental attitude is the right mental attitude.”— Napoleon Hill

To understand what others say,

you need to listen to what they are not saying.

August 11st

“You have a brain and mind of your own.

Use it, and reach your own decisions.”— Napoleon Hill

No matter how tough each person appears on the outside,

they still have delicate things inside

and have a very unique need to be understood.

August 12nd

“When life gives you lemons,

make lemonade and sell it

to all of those who get thirsty from complaining.”— Napoleon Hill

Seeing things from the other person’s point of view

also helps you to be a good listener.

“As long as you haven’t walked a mile

in someone else’s shoes,

I can’t feel the smell yet

what it really is.”- Robert Byrne

August 13rd

“Willpower and desire,

when properly combined,

make an irresistible pair.”— Napoleon Hill

Every person in this world wears a pair of different colored glasses

and no pair is the same.

August 14th

“Education comes from within;

you get it by struggle

and effort and thought.”— Napoleon Hill

If you want to improve your relationship with your mom or dad,

try listening to them as if you were listening to a friend.

August 15th

“Your big opportunity may be right where you are now.”— Napoleon Hill

If you listen and understand your parents,

two incredible things will happen.

First of all, they will respect you more.

Second, you will have more freedom in your personal decisions.

If they feel that you understand them,

they will be more willing to listen to you and will trust you more.

August 16th

“Success is good at any age,

but the sooner you find it,

the longer you will enjoy it.”— Napoleon Hill

To improve your relationship with your parents,

you can also start building trust with them.

Think about what is important for your parents to trust you.

Put yourself in

their minds and think their way.

It could be just washing the dishes

or taking out the trash,

keeping a promise to come home early for a night out…

August 17th

“The persistent man with a poor plan stands a better chance of winning

than the man with a perfect plan who hesitates and waivers in carrying it out.”— Napoleon Hill

To understand others is not difficult,

but to be understood by others is also not easy.

August 18th

“When you begin to think and grow rich,

you will observe that riches begin with a state of mind,

with definiteness of purpose,

with little or no hard work.”— Napoleon Hill

Feelings of not being able

to express themselves don’t go away.

They still live quietly in your lap

and then emerge in more awkward ways.

Either you choose to share your feelings

or they will gnaw at your heart.

August 19th

“Man, alone, has the power to transform his thoughts into physical reality;

man, alone, can dream and make his dreams come true.”— Napoleon Hill

Giving feedback is also an important part of being understood.

If your best friend is having delusions,

do you think he needs honest, sensitive feedback?

Have you ever come home from a date

and discovered that there was a piece of vegetable stuck

to your teeth from this afternoon until now?

Embarrassed, you immediately recall those smiles that night.

Do you wish at that time someone would honestly tell you what happened…

August 20th

“Wise men, when in doubt whether to speak or to keep quiet,

give themselves the benefit of the doubt,

and remain silent.”— Napoleon Hill

Before you advise anyone, ask yourself:

If the motive for responding

to your opinion doesn’t correspond

to the person’s greatest concern,

then it’s probably not the time to speak.

August 21st

“Opportunity often comes disguised in the form of misfortune,

or temporary defeat.”— Napoleon Hill

Next, when giving feedback,

use the first person,

not the second person, in your sentences.

For example, you should say,

“I think you’re a bit short-tempered.”

When you use the second person,

the message becomes more threatening

because it sounds like you are imposing:

“You have a terrible temper.”

August 22nd

“No person may enjoy outstanding success without good health.”— Napoleon Hill

You have two ears but only one mouth,

so use them accordingly.

August 23rd

“The ladder of success is never crowded at the top.”— Napoleon Hill

Take a minute to reflect on how you listen:

See how long you can look at the other person while they are talking to you.

August 24th

“Remember that it is not the lawyer who knows the most law,

but the one who best prepares his case, who wins.”— Napoleon Hill

Take a minute to reflect on how you listen:

Find a chair, and see how people communicate with each other.

See what their gestures say.

“Any idea, plan,

or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.”— Napoleon Hill

August 25th

One minute of practice for better listening:

At some point, try asking your mom or dad:

“Is the job good?”.

Open your heart and listen sincerely.

You will be surprised at its results.

When you find yourself wanting to bury your feelings,

try to resist.

Instead, be honest.

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