Chapter 3: I’m sorry

An apology is a lovely perfume;

it can transform the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift. — Margaret Lee Runbeck

In life, there are always times

when we need to say “I’m sorry” or “I’m so sorry”.

It’s hard to say,

but once you get used to using these sayings,

you’ll enrich your life

and that of others.

No longer giving reasons to justify your behavior,

you become aware of what is wrong

and the hurt others are feeling.

Saying those simple words will help you reduce the burden

you have to carry in your heart if you remain silent.

My mistake will surely hurt the people involved.

So, along with admitting “I was wrong”,

we also need to sincerely apologize,

avoiding the mechanical saying

that they are right and we are wrong.

When we make a mistake with someone,

they are bound to react with anger,

so we need to show them

that we truly regret what we did.

You will be surprised to know

how many problems can be solved with sincere repentance.

Any negative emotions (like anger) disappear.

The positive impact of admitting fault far outweighs the potential risk

of losing your position and hurting your ego.

My youngest son, Doug,

when he was a teenager heard me several times on the topic of the power of words,

including the application of the phrase “I was wrong and let me apologize”

to End all arguments.

One night, it was past time and Doug still hadn’t come home,

so I stayed up to wait for him.

After an hour of waiting with no sign of a trace,

I started to get worried.

I thought I would scold him

as soon as he walked in.

Then finally

When Doug and Doug also got home,

he crept into the house and found me sitting there.

Knowing that he was late

and realizing that his father was angry,

without making any excuses,

Doug quickly said: “Dad, I was wrong,

and I apologize.”

I was so mad at him,

but after hearing Doug admit his mistake and say sorry,

what else can I say!

Besides, I think Doug truly regrets what he did

or at least he regrets it at the time.

“I was wrong” and “I’m sorry” always go together.

I like the “I was wrong” admission,

which is not only a saying, but also an attitude to life.

It takes honesty and courage to say this.

Many leaders and big-name figures would be able

to fulfill their responsibilities better if they behaved like that.

When was the last time you heard celebrities apologize in public

for their carelessness or mistakes?

They often tend to speak up and defend their point of view.

From the scandals of officials to the criminal acts, actions contrary

to the customs and traditions of the “stars”,

borrowing the power of media activities,

they only give justifications,

not rarely. through which they publicly apologized

although doing so did not push their careers to the brink.

In fact, the community always appreciates the virtue of humility,

sympathizes with them, will quickly forgive them

if they quickly and sincerely apologize.

Just a few simple words can stop the spread of bad news.

Insistently defending your point of view,

citing reasons to cover things up,

or blaming others are negative actions,

instead of deciding to look at the problem in a more positive light.

This behavior has become a bad habit,

turning our society into a negative society.

Saying “I’m sorry” shows that we can understand the other person’s point of view,

that we want to preserve the relationship

and not be so presumptuous that we don’t see the good in them.

An apology is a conscious decision to empathize with the feelings of another.

Instead of thinking that apologizing comes from realizing we did something wrong,

we should see how it will benefit

and have a positive impact on the person affected.

In the late 1980s,

I was struck by what Mr. Walt Disney wrote,

and I used his terms in my talks.

According to him, there are three types of people, including: Well Poisoner

– who is always critical and tries to bring others down instead of uplift them;

Lawn Mower – people

does a good job, takes care of his family,

but never risks crossing the fence of his garden to help others;

and Life Enhancer

someone who enriches the lives of others with his words

and actions and makes the world a livable place.

At the end of the talk,

I quote the story of Ms. Thompson written by Elizabeth Ballard in 1976.

The story is about a teacher and an unloved student

who are trying to fit in with their classmates

because he has never had a decent family life

or been cared for by anyone.

Reading through the report card and seeing the boy’s untidy clothes,

Ms. Thompson didn’t pay any attention

to him until something happened at Christmas.

While the other children gave Ms. Thompson new gifts her parents had bought,

the unexpected child gave her a gaudy marble bracelet

and some cheap perfume by the owner.

I left his late mother.

The other students started laughing at the boy’s gift.

But Miss Thompson ended the joke

by trying on the bracelet,

putting on some perfume,

and complimenting him on his gift.

That night, Mrs. Thompson also prayed,

asking God to forgive her

for ignoring the seemingly unloved baby,

and promised herself that from now

on she would try to find out the good side.

beautiful in this poor boy.

And they started a friendship from that time

until he graduated from school and became a doctor.

Later, in his wedding ceremony,

the old boy invited Ms. Thompson

to replace his deceased mother in the position

for the mother of the groom.

Like many stories of people helping others in difficult times,

the story of Ms. Thompson reminds us

to know how to support those in need.

However, in reality, most people ignore

when others need help.

Very simply,

we can use an optimistic attitude

and positive statements to communicate with them.

Be sympathetic instead of insisting on defending their point of view,

as well as trying to “pick up” errors to criticize them;

fortify the virtue of humility,

avoiding pride and arrogance.

In life, there are things that happen that are not your fault,

but you still feel sad and regretful,

such as: “I’m sorry you just lost a loved one”,

“It’s sad when heard about your illness”

or “I am sorry that you were not promoted to that position

despite your hard work”.

It is a way of expressing our sympathy

and humility before the loss and difficulties of others.

Especially in the family setting, as adults,

we can help our children deal

with and overcome disappointments

knowing that getting up after failure is an important part of growing up.

From an adult’s point of view,

there are things that are not so important but can hurt them.

I have witnessed a few times the mood

and attitude of a child

who encounters some unfavorable events during the day.

It’s not easy for every kid to have a playmate

or take on the role of team leader.

Those are the times

when we adults should show sympathy

and say a few words of encouragement: “I’m sorry.

Mom/Dad is very proud of your efforts.

Keep working hard,

because I know you can do it!”.

Another form of “I’m sorry” is

when you’re sorry you couldn’t take responsibility

or couldn’t accept some request, like:

“I’m sorry I couldn’t come to your party,”

or “I sincerely apologize for not having dinner with you last night.”

Say so with love and respect.

When I became a grandfather,

every day on my calendar was a list of my grandchildren’s highlights of the day.

If I can’t attend,

I’ll call them to let them know

or send them a card

and say I’m thinking about them,

feeling proud of them,

and regretting not being able to be with them at that time.

In this way,

apologizing frankly even gives me an extra opportunity

to communicate with my grandchildren,

letting them know I care about what they’re doing.

We should also confess to ourselves

and to others feelings of regret for past mistakes,

mistakes in judgment,

nostalgia for missing a precious opportunity,

or regret for I know I can do better.

I myself have many regrets.

When the company was on the rise,

we did not boldly promote freelancing activities

so that they grow with the main business of the company.

Maybe other entrepreneurs feel the same way as I do.

Try it, even if it fails,

it’s better than regretting it later.

If we don’t succeed,

at least we can learn more valuable experiences

and open our mind and vision.

Jay and I used to be in the restaurant business.

The business took a loss,

but at least I figured out two things:

how hard it is to make money

from the restaurant business,

and it’s definitely not the right job for me!

So let’s give it a try once.

To be able to share our grief with others,

we must understand the situation

from their point of view.

Many people call me easy going and friendly person

because I like to communicate

Interact with people,

care and try to understand problems

from their point of view.

You can’t sincerely apologize

or show empathy

if you don’t understand them

or their situation.

When visiting our hotels,

I like to walk around the kitchen

or the common areas reserved

for employees to say hello

and thank them for the work they do.

I love walking around Amway Arena,

talking to the staff

before the Orlando Magic basketball team plays.

Many people say they are impressed

by how quickly

and easily I strike up a conversation with everyone,

from the neighbor to the patients sitting in the waiting room.

My grandchildren will never forget our vacation in the Marquesas Islands near Tahiti.

We got to know and helped a man

who lived in a beach shack.

He often smiles widely,

revealing his two “unique” teeth.

He knew the island well,

so I hired him as a guide,

asking him to take us to a less frequented waterfall.

That waterfall is one of the most beautiful places on the island,

we wouldn’t have been able

to discover it on our own without his help.

Then I see, how can I enjoy that interesting time

if I don’t get to know that strange man.

Saying “I’m sorry”

or “I’m sorry” is also a special skill

to help mend relationships.

It lets others know you understand them

and genuinely want to correct or help them.

Have the courage to say “I’m sorry” after an argument

where we know we’re in the wrong;

walk into the funeral home and try

to find the right words to share

with a friend who has just lost a loved one;

comforts his friend when he loses all trust

because of a rejection letter.

In life, there are always times

when we need to say

“I’m sorry”

or “I’m sorry”.

It’s hard to say,

but once you get used to using these sayings,

you’ll enrich your life and that of others.

No longer giving reasons

to justify your behavior,

you become aware of what is wrong

and the hurt others are feeling.

Saying those simple words will help you reduce the burden

you have to carry in your heart

if you remain silent.