Chapter 6: I am proud of you

Don’t stop until you’re proud.

Be proud of your choices,

not your gifts. — Jeff Bezos

We all need the encouraging gestures of “I’m proud of you”

– whether in words,

messages,

or actions –

when we’re new to life,

starting a business,

trying our best to build self-confidence,

or even reach the pinnacle of your career.

I believe that each of us is born

with some latent ability.

You can help those you love realize their potential

by expressing how proud you are of them.

Like other grandparents,

I always want to see my grandchildren play.

Just the other day they were

still taking their first steps,

but time passed quickly,

now they are able to run,

ride,

cycle,

hit baseball,

swim,

dive and perform on stage.

When I watch them play,

I understand they are trying

to get my attention and approval.

A few years ago,

at the swimming pool,

I was impressed

when they called out,

“Look at me,

Grandpa!”

then dive underwater

or jump into the water.

Since each one was trying to outdo the other,

they looked over at me to make sure

I was still watching them perform.

“Look at this one!”,

children always expect loved ones to look

and send them a smile of encouragement

or confirmation of their abilities.

Then when they grow up,

they expect their grandparents,

parents to see them get good grades,

play sports,

play the piano,

act in plays, etc.

and step foot on the threshold of university.

You will definitely notice this in your children and grandchildren.

Besides the words “I love you”,

surely a word that has a much stronger influence

than we can say is “I am proud of you“.

However, “Watch this one!”

Not just children’s words.

The desire contained in the phrase “Watch this child!”

When we are young,

we will follow us for the rest of our lives,

because everyone needs to be noticed

and acknowledged by those who mean the most to them.

So we rush to study,

work hard to achieve high achievements

because of that paramount desire.

In 2007, my wife Helen received the “Lifetime Achievement” award

from the Grand Rapids Symphony Orchestra

(the Grand Rapids Symphony) for her years of volunteering

to help develop a world-class orchestra

and giving the musical gift

to the community copper.

My children and I posted an advertisement

about the awards program

with the words “We are proud of you!”.

Helen herself doesn’t need any compensation for

i do. She volunteered to contribute just

because of her love for music

and affection for the community.

But I understand that a few words

of love showing recognition

from the family will be an invaluable gift for her.

Behind the spirit of hard work is often

the desire to be praised by people,

to be attached to many impressive positions,

to receive awards or to see your name in the newspaper.

All of us understand the value of saying ”

Good job, boy!”

or “Come on, girl!”

with an encouraging pat on the back.

In business, I quickly understood the power

of recognizing other people’s accomplishments,

and how quickly unrecognized achievements can drown out human effort.

Only sages work hard

without anyone knowing.

As you learn to see the good in people,

you’ll find it easy to tell them you’re proud of them.

Each person is inherently special

and unique individuals,

possessing certain talents,

living with purpose and having their own dreams.

That awareness has also been a great spiritual encouragement

for us to reach our full potential.

The business I started with Jay Van Andel in 1959 was very simple.

Anyone can start a business with Amway

and earn income by selling products to people they know,

plus a commission from the sales of people

they refer to join the business network.

Business participants will receive a product kit

with the necessary instructions to proceed with the work.

Amway is everyone’s business,

and everyone needs recognition to succeed.

As such, we offer varying degrees of success

and opportunities to achievers

who will be recognized on stage at business conferences,

in front of their peers.

It is also a way for people doing business

with Amway to say to others,

“Look at me”;

at the same time

let the people they respect

and admire in the company admit:

“I’m proud of you”.

Seeing thousands of people achieve success beyond their dreams,

I’ve found that saying

“I’m proud of you” can change a person’s life.

“I’m proud of you” isn’t just about recognizing someone’s accomplishments,

it’s also motivating,

encouraging people to do more than they thought they would.

That’s why Jay and I put recognition into this business.

We base Amway’s attitude of appreciation

for achievement and reward,

because if there were only tangible rewards,

Objects alone are not strong enough

to motivate people to realize their potential

and strive to achieve their dreams.

We offer two solid foundations: levels

financial rewards

and achievement levels identified by names

such as Emerald and Diamond.

Now, it’s common for many people to think

that a rank named with a gem isn’t as important

and doesn’t motivate

as strongly as monetary rewards

because money can be used to buy houses, cars,

Does anyone else want to work hard

to earn an Emerald or Diamond badge?

But we find that the Diamond rank is very important

– if not extremely important

– in motivating people.

Diamond-level achievers in Amway’s product business

will be featured in the company’s magazine

and celebrated in front of thousands of colleagues.

That recognition, cheers from colleagues,

and congratulations

from the leadership convey the message that:

“I am proud of you”.

After writing my third book Hope From My Heart:

Ten Lessons For Life (roughly translated:

Hope from the heart:

10 life lessons),

I came up with the idea to use this book to recognize

those who endeavor to take action to give hope to others.

So every time the local newspaper publishes

a story about an inspiring example,

or a volunteer making a difference in the community,

I send that person a book with a note.

In the letter,

I congratulated them

and said that we have one thing in common:

trying to give hope to others.

I received a lot of replies

from them thanking them for the book,

they said they would keep the letter in the most respectful place.

For all the propositions in this book,

you should not only increase their use in everyday spoken language,

but apply them to written language as well.

It only takes a few minutes

to jot down a few small notes,

but it’s a great act of inspiration.

I’ve seen my notes posted in places they frequent

and they even framed it.

I grew up with dial-up phones,

letters delivered by land,

rail,

water and air,

I appreciate the speed and convenience of email,

but nothing Can convey the full meaning of a thank you

or express interest in a handwritten letter.

Remember how you felt

when you received a small envelope

with an address on the outside, opened it,

and inside was a thank you or congratulation card?

I believe that even the busiest senior managers,

who are daily inundated with a mountain of e-mails of all kinds,

will have to pause for a moment to open a card like that.

Since I have to travel a lot,

I find it more practical to use a private jet.

Besides, I can also lend it to my friends if needed.

Barbara Bush never used my plane

without sending me a handwritten thank you note.

Barbara is a handwritten letter writer.

I appreciate that and appreciate the letters you have written.

Her son, George W. Bush, was one like that.

Years ago, Amway’s way of doing business was

still misunderstood. Once,

I was invited for an interview on the Phil Donahue Show. Mr. Donahue

and some in the audience criticized me

and my business.

I did the best I could to defend myself

against a well-prepared professional interviewer

and an opposition group hurling tough questions

at me on national television.

After the show, I received a small note from Barbara Bush

that simply said: “DeVos 10, Donahue 0”.

Can you imagine how that lifted my spirits! Now,

the phrase “I am proud of you” has the same power.

The power of these simple propositions increases

as they are written down.

A simple note template doesn’t take too long either.

You should prepare a stack of white cards

or thank you cards with stamps.

No need to write long letters,

just a few short lines,

but send all the love from the heart.

The next time you think of thanking someone special,

you can quickly and easily turn that thought into action.

That way,

you’ll make sure you don’t leave anyone out

those who have done a great job,

those who need encouragement,

or those who just need to know someone is thinking about you.

I am sure that while this is only a small investment,

it can produce huge results.

We all need the encouraging gestures of “I’m proud of you”

whether in words, messages,

or actions

when we’re new to life,

starting a business,

trying our best build self-confidence,

or even reach the pinnacle of your career.

I have given hundreds of lectures.

I came to speak to motivate people,

and I am honored for that privilege.

In the past, when I was new to speaking engagements,

I asked Helen to observe and tell me

what she thought of my talk.

I want to get approval

from the most meaningful person in my life.

Helen gave me the validation I needed.

I remember in the early days,

I asked her many times about my performance on stage because

Helen’s compliments and sense of pride in me meant more

than the applause in the audience.

“I’m proud of you” is also a special support for

those who have never received

reward in life,

for those who often doubt their own abilities and for

those who are struggling to find the things

that make them proud.

I myself am the real proof of this.

When I was in school,

I was not an excellent student.

In fact, my father once refused to continue paying for my school fees

because I was lazy and didn’t focus on my studies.

My Latin teacher gave me a D

and I could never attend her class again.

In the end,

I decided to study hard to improve my grades,

but I couldn’t get an A in all subjects.

I confessed this in my graduation speech in front of my classmates.

Many of them have earned honorary degrees

or received national awards.

At the ceremony, more than half of classmates graduated

because of good academic performance.

They must have heard their parents

and teachers say to them a few times,

“I’m proud of you”.

Therefore,

I feel the need to pay attention to students

who do not receive honorary degrees.

They certainly feel like they are just “leftovers”,

attending the graduation ceremony just

to join the crowd

when they see outstanding students receive their awards.

So I encouraged that each of you can do great things.

I hope this encouragement will help them

to confidently go into life,

thinking that the world will be full of opportunities

and everyone has the ability to make their dreams come true.

Words of encouragement like

that can be a source of inspiration for those young people

for the rest of their lives.

My son, Doug, still remembers my words of encouragement,

the “secret” that has helped Doug a lot since elementary school.

That day,

while driving his children to school,

Doug confessed that he was having trouble making friends.

I encourage her to be happier

because “Everyone likes to play with happy people”.

To this day,

Doug still vividly remembers saying it

as soon as he got out of the car and heard me call after him:

“Go and grab them, Mr. Fun!”.

Doug is now an adult,

a husband and a father of four,

but Doug still remembers that beautiful memory

and my words of encouragement.

In fact, the good tradition continues.

One of Doug’s daughters founded her high school freshman’s team

and played as a downline player

she’s one of the few girls to ever play with her son’s team in school.

I enjoy going to the games and cheering for her.

For a girl, trying out on a boy’s soccer team definitely

requires a lot of courage and confidence

– it’s most likely built on positive words of encouragement

from her parents during adulthood.

Meanwhile, Helen had a completely opposite childhood.

Her mother is always afraid of the worst,

so she does not allow her to ride a bike or swim.

Helen’s family has vacationed

by the ocean a few times,

and they live near Lake Michigan

plenty of opportunities for her to splash in the water

but her mother keeps her close to shore.

With my encouragement,

although she did not know how to swim,

Helen learned to swim

with a life jacket and snorkel.

Knowing what her childhood was like,

I feel great watching her enjoy swimming with a snorkel

in all the rivers,

lakes and seas of the world.

Motivating our loved ones

by expressing pride in them

can help them boldly step off the shallow “sea of ​​perception”

to explore other depths of life.

Can just a few simple words have the power

to make a positive impact?

Find a reason to tell your kids that you’re proud of them

and you’ll be able to answer that question on your own.

“I am proud of you” has a stronger effect when it is said

In public places,

or in front of people they respect

and admire such as parents,

friends,

teachers,

managers,

colleagues, etc.

Once, I was fortunate to have a conversation at dinner with a friend.

World-renowned brain surgeon from New York on the occasion

of his lecture at Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital in Grand Rapids.

He complimented me on the hospital:

“In a few years,

you will be able to attract the best

and most talented doctors across the country.”

I told him:

“Look around.

There are already a lot of the best

and most talented doctors here!”

A few years later,

The head of pediatric oncology

and hematology told me he had overheard the conversation

while sitting at the next table.

He said my proud words were like an encouraging “pat” on his back.

He is proud to be a member of the hospital’s talented team of doctors.

Just hearing me express my pride in my medical team

in front of a respected doctor

with a long history in the profession makes him feel grateful

from the bottom of his heart.

I want to be a “life cheerleader”

who brings joy to life, motivates people,

because unfortunately there are some people

who go in the opposite direction

destroy instead of build.

We must believe in limitless potential

and encourage others to do the same.

If you don’t try it,

how do you know if you can paint,

run a business,

sell products,

write books,

lecture in front of people,

earn that degree,

take on that position,

or win? that match?

Saying “I’m proud of you” freely to those

who give their best effort is a way of showing respect

for human dignity.

Everyone says I’m easy to talk to,

from presidents to parking attendants.

I’m proud of it.

My father is an electrician

who has been unemployed all his life

the Great Depression.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not proud of him.

He worked hard to raise my children

and encouraged me to become a business owner.

Many years ago,

I attended a vocational training symposium

with some highly educated people

with many years of experience.

All the while I sat listening to their comments

about unemployed workers,

something like,

“Maybe we can at least train him to be a carpenter,”

or “Well, he is.” will still be just a plumber,

but…” I was also the speaker that night.

So I have the opportunity to remind these snobs

that they are looking down from their “ivory tower”

and are trying to arrange a place in society

for those “poor” people – the people,

in their opinion,

are not smart enough to go to college.

As for me,

I don’t believe that humans are merely mechanical workers,

salesmen,

sanitation workers, etc.

We all have our own dignity,

being the holy crystallization of the Universe

and using our natural talents innate

to contribute to society in their own way.

Here, respect is key.

Out of respect,

one can say “I’m proud of you” to anyone who does a good job.

As a parent,

you have the opportunity

to have a powerful influence on the future success of these preschoolers.

As a manager,

teacher,

or coach,

include “I am proud of you” in your daily vocabulary.

I believe each of us is born with some hidden potential.

You can help those you love realize

their potential by expressing how proud you are of them.

There is still a little bit of childhood in each person,

that is the expectation of approval

and saying “Look at me!”.

Are you observing life?

Are you mindful of the accomplishments

small or large of your family members,

friends, neighbors,

co-workers or employees?

You can help them thrive by saying

“I’m proud of you!”.