Chapter 2: How to play with difficult people?
Those who go far in front of the mountains
and high rocks must find a way around
or think of a way to avoid it.
This action in communication is to go around to reach the goal,
in other words, not to go in a straight line,
but to take a detour.
There are many things that cannot be said directly,
can only be said in a roundabout way.
There are some people
who are difficult to reach,
so it is impossible not to meet the mountain
to open the way,
meet the river to bridge.
It is not clear what people have in the gourd,
so they have to throw stones
to explore and find out the truth.
Sometimes to reduce the opponent’s intentions,
let them let their guard down,
we have to take a detour,
even use the tactic of “just telling Truong Tam
to say Lao Tu” In life,
many people “straighten their guts”,
ringid in handling,
even if the wall fell,
he would not turn back,
ten buffaloes could not be pulled back.
For these people,
they must know the art of witchcraft,
brainstorm to find a way around to overcome.
To put it in one sentence:
Winding around in certain circles achieves
the greatest practical benefit in human-to-human relations.
1. Unfinished music, first love
Around the year Gia Khanh of the Ming Dynasty,
the official Ly Nhac was honest and clean.
Once he discovered that the exam was cheating
and presented it to the king,
the king ignored it.
He re-presented, as a result,
the King became so angry
then The King though that he’s guilty on purpose,
ordering a paper to cover Ly Nhac’s mouth
and no one could remove it.
Being unable to eat is the same as condemning to death.
At that time, a mandarin walked up
to Ly Nhac and scolded,
“It’s a big sin to dare to speak loudly in front of the emperor.”
Because he scolded Li Yue on behalf of the emperor,
the emperor did not arrest him.
In fact, that person was a student of Ly Nhac,
in this emergency situation he used a trick
to save the teacher,
beat him to tear off the paper.
If he intervened frankly,
not only would he not be able to save the teacher,
but he would also bring harm to his body.
This method is used extremely skillfully.
Ly Nhac does not understand the principle
of “peace is the priority” in life,
far behind students by a large distance.
The disciples knew how to go around
and modify the king’s harsh orders,
saving the teacher from the danger of annihilation.
It should be known that our country’s cultural tradition attaches great importance
to going around.
The master humorist Mr.Lam summed up the Chinese people
(especially book readers) asking people
to work like ancient literature.
The Chinese are not like the people of the West,
“What do you think it is not polite
to ask a stranger like that.
It is even more risky to ask a stranger.
The Chinese people meet
and talk very politely and with appearance.
The beauty of ancient literature,
not only has a beautiful style
but also has a tight structure,
which can be divided into 4 paragraphs.
The first paragraph is the discussion,
discussing the weather.
Come on “gentleman, great name,
honorable and pleasant weather today”.
Mr.Lam calls it the meteorological period,
the main effect is
“First create feelings of friendly,
comfortable and happy,
then talk about what you want“,
that is, to connect emotions.
In real life, those problems are common
and do not offend anyone.
The second part is telling old stories,
recalling old feelings,
find out same things together.
Thus taking a step deep from the domain
of general public to the realm of private,
that is the process of penetration.
Mr.Lam jokingly called the historical period.
Maybe the children and grandchildren go
to the same school,
maybe it’s you in this street,
I’m in that street, from then on,
feelings gradually become harmonious.
If both of them used to be at Peking University,
they used to know teachers like Chi Ma,
Thich Chi, Su Hong Minh,
Lam Cam Nam the more intimate.
If this stage is done well
the feelings of both sides are really harmonious.
The third paragraph is discussing current affairs,
It was the political phase.
The feeling of harmony
and prestige gradually increased,
they could hold hands to discuss national affairs
such as the country’s safe fortunes,
assessment of historical figures, etc. which is now five
The 29th People’s Republic of China,
counting 33 years, is called 33 years according to Sun Yat-sen.
If you do well at this stage, the feelings are ripe, the spirit is hot,
even hatred has met too late,
ready to fight together.
Getting there was a great opportunity to be able
to choose the time to discuss
what you want to discuss
It is thus ripe to enter the fourth stage.
The fourth paragraph is called the economic stage,
asking for help with “small work”.
You can stand up,
hug your hat,
lean over and say:
Now I have a little business to bother you.
Don’t you know Mr. X?
Could you write me a letter of introduction?
This paragraph must be natural,
not make the other party feel a lot of pressure
such as lack of some emotional debt.
Must follow the previous developments
and lower the pen to end the full text.
2. Three approach techniques
The day before Prime Minister Chu Dung Co visited the Central Television Station,
the radio leaders told the host, Kinh Nhat Dan,
to find a way to ask the Prime Minister to write a memorial.
Kinh Nhat Dan is both happy and difficult at the same time.
How to make this request to the prime minister?
The next day, Prime Minister Chu Dung Co was accompanied
by the minister of propaganda Dinh Quan Can to Taiwan.
He entered the room to interview urgent issues,
everyone present clapped and cheered, the atmosphere was lively.
After greeting everyone,
the prime minister sat in the chair
that the interviewer usually sat in,
people surrounded him,
competing to talk to the prime minister.
One editor said:
“I’ve heard before that the driver has a special biology school.
Today I saw the prime minister has this school.”
The Prime Minister smiled
without showing approval or disapproval,
the more lively and intimate the room was.
Kinh Nhat Dan feels this is a good opportunity,
a rare opportunity.
Kinh Nhat Dan went to the Prime Minister and said:
“Today, more than 20 people in the Interview Room
for urgent issues surrounding the Prime Minister are only one-tenth of the office staff.”
After hearing that, the Prime Minister said,
“You have so many people.”
Kinh Nhat Dan continued:
“Yes, because there are many urgent issues,
most of you are still interviewing today.
It’s very hard on the outside.
They also want to come here directly to meet the prime minister,
but because of their work,
they can’t come today.
I wonder if the prime minister can leave a few words for them?
Kinh Nhat Dan was very sincere and soft,
and then brought his pen to the Prime Minister.
The Prime Minister looked at Kinh Nhat Dan and smiled,
then happily took a pen and wrote:
“The public opinion of the director,
the masses are loyal,
the government respects,
the reform of soldiers”.
After the Prime Minister finished writing,
everyone clapped loudly,
the atmosphere was extremely excited.
Kinh Nhat Dan has made a very appropriate and commendable turn.
The requirement to write a souvenir letter first,
stating that everyone went to the interview was very arduous,
so that the prime minister was not callous and accidentally “got into it”,
moreover, his words were sincere and earnest,
so he finally achieved to the purpose.
The interview atmosphere was very light,
It seems that journalists are very skilled professionals.
When we meet journalist-type people,
we have to be vigilant,
think about whether we have a “noose”
or not before answering.
3. Walk the old man’s path
Thanks to people’s help,
that person is a strong person,
in the upper age and the father below has a child,
so in addition to going the lady’s way,
he also has to go the old man’s and child’s path.
Why are old people and children the ideal path?
a. The elderly and children are easily accessible.
Elderly people who are physically weak,
retired in the family or retired
because of their advanced age have nothing to do,
family members do not allow housework,
want to talk but do not have the opportunity,
so they often feel lonely.
If someone takes the initiative to approach
and make me feel better for a while,
of course it’s very welcome.
Moreover, psychology tells us that old people are much more gentle
and charitable than young people,
easy to approach.
Children are naive, hyperactive, curious,
and like new things.
A Tang verse, a fairy tale,
a ghostly face,
a scare sound can quickly attract children.
b. Old people, children like us to approach.
Saying no old people have a wide understanding,
rich life experience,
with many emotional and rational “products of experience” in their hearts,
once they have the opportunity,
they will never stop talking,
want to influence and move posters,
that is their consolation.
In fact, the elderly stay at home all day,
so the opportunity to tell stories
and convey experiences is very rare,
so the physiology and psychology of the elderly are very friendly and simple.
Especially for young people,
they often take the initiative
to start a conversation with enthusiasm.
As for children,
if we sincerely treat them with a child’s heart
to bring them new joy,
they will immediately see us as a funny person
or as a cult and close hero.
In short, the elderly and children,
due to specific physiological
and psychological reasons,
love to meet new friends.
4. Through the elderly
and children can integrate the whole family.
The elderly are elders,
and the Chinese have a tradition of respecting the elderly.
If the old people are happy,
the whole family is happy.
The Chinese attach great importance
to the continuation of the family line,
considering children as the future of the family.
Moreover, most modern families are only children,
the more loving the whole family is,
if you can make friends with children,
you will be able to integrate with the whole family.
Going on the road of the elderly and children,
there are a few points to pay attention to:
a. Must learn and accumulate knowledge
about the elderly and children.
Understanding the elderly and children,
in addition to investigating their feelings
normally also have to accumulate a little rational knowledge
such as reading magazines,
watching movies, TV to understand the situation.
their health, their entertainment,
stories of children’s intelligence
to use whenever the opportunity arises.
b. It is necessary
to actively approach the family’s daily activities.
Talking is the most direct way to gather information.
Entering a family
when seeing the elderly and children,
it is necessary
to create an atmosphere of harmony
as we have known,
actively raise issues to discuss,
not wait for the elderly
or children to speak first.
Because in a short time
when first contacting guests to the house,
it is necessary to prepare psychologically
to find the clues of the story easily,
for the elderly,
we actively speak
first to show respect.
As for children, we open up first,
showing closeness eliminates the feeling of strangers.
c. Should not be underestimated,
must be handled with care.
For the elderly,
the attitude must be reverent,
the behavior must be humble,
showing that we are both honest
and respectful of the elderly.
The level of bragging, putting the elderly aside,
or trampling on the words of the elderly
will be treated coldly or even chased away
by the elderly.
Children are naturally docile,
love to play,
but cry easily.
Whenever they are upset a little,
they immediately cry,
so when interacting with children,
they must choose words that are suitable
and reasonable to a certain extent.
Use sincerity to exchange for children’s love,
never pretend to be dead,
show adults to children.
In this plan, you must be flexible
to change the way you act accordingly.
When faced with difficulties,
it is necessary to encourage children,
and to follow the will of the elderly not
to lose their affection is a great way
to build relationships with the other party.