Chapter 7: How to Get What You Really Want
“What emotion gathers your whole being
and lift you up is pure emotion;
What emotions only invade a part of you?
and distorting you is raw emotion”. – Rainer Maria Rilke
“Get me my first coffee”.
Elvis Presley always commanded that
so that people would bring him the first dose of sleep,
after every night of performing with all his strength.
Elvis’s assistant would open the first package and give him the “Daily Dose”:
rainbow-colored tranquilizers (Amytal, Carbrital, Nembutal or Seconal) Quaaludes, Valium,
and Placidyl tablets,
then three injections of Demerol just below the shoulder.
Before he went to bed,
his logistics team consisted of people standing around the clock to get to work.
It was a race to see how much food the King could consume before he fell asleep.
Normally he ate three cheese and meat sandwiches
and six or seven bananas before he fell asleep.
Sometimes the servants had to dig food out of his throat so he wouldn’t suffocate.
So Elvis started sleeping for about 4 hours.
He was so staggered that people had to carry him to the bathroom
and this was when he called for his second shot
by weakly clinging to his assistant’s shirt.
Elvis couldn’t take the pills himself,
so the maid put the pills in his mouth,
then slowly poured in water to let the pills slide down.
Rarely did Elvis have the strength to call for a third shot.
But as usual,
the assistant would give him the full dose and let him sleep until noon,
when the King woke up and his body demanded more
and cocaine on the tip of a cotton ball
and inhaled before hitting the floor acting again.
On the day he died,
Elvis was still sober and had saved up the three usual doses that would end his life.
How could a man so famous, admired by millions,
and had almost everything in the world,
go on to abuse his body and take his own life in such a horrible way?
According to David Stanley,
the reason is that he prefers to be addicted to drugs
and daydreaming rather than consciously and miserable.
Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for celebrities,
celebrities in art and business careers,
to destroy their own lives, either directly or indirectly.
We could include writers like Ernest Hemingway and Sylvia Plath,
actors like William Holden and Freddie prinze,
singers like Mama cass Elliot and Janis Joplin.
What do they have in common?
First of all, they no longer exist and we have all lost them.
Second, they bought an invoice that said,
“Someday, someone, somehow, something…and then I’ll be happy”.
But when they succeed,
when they reach the pinnacle of fame and reach the Paradise of Dreams,
they discover that happiness is still far away.
So they continue to pursue,
prolonging the suffering of life with alcohol,
tobacco, drugs, drinking,
until they finally sink into the oblivion they crave.
They never discover the true source of happiness.
let’s contrast the stories above with a letter I recently received from a woman
who used the lessons I offer to completely change the quality of her life.
The letter reads as follows:
Dear Mr. Tony,
I have been severely abused in my life,
from my childhood
until the death of my second husband.
As a result of my abuse and severe trauma,
I developed a mental illness called multiple personality disorder (MPD).
Where I have 49 different personalities,
none of them know the other personality
or what happens to the other personality.
The only comfort I’ve had in my 49 years with multiple personalities
has been my self-destructive attitude.
It sounds odd, but self-destruction often brings us comfort.
I tried to kill myself several times
without success and after one failed attempt,
I was admitted to the hospital and cared for by a doctor.
To unify the personalities,
I had to go back to the trauma that first created each personality.
I had to remember, live,
and re-experience that trauma.
Each of my different personalities handles a unique function,
a unique ability to recall,
and a unique emotional rhythm.
I worked with an expert in the field of MPD
and he helped me unify all 49 of my personalities into one.
What motivates me to persevere through these different processes is the feeling
that all of the people in me are very unhappy
and that my life has become a complete mess
(this personality doesn’t know the details).
What the other personality was doing
and we found ourselves in all sorts of different situations
and places that by the end I couldn’t remember a thing.)
We thought it was when we united as one person we be happy
his ultimate goal.
That is my misconception.
I lived a year in hell.
I feel extremely unhappy and sad
because each of their personalities.
I miss each and every one of them
and wish them back in me like before.
It was too difficult and that year many times I committed suicide,
and then I was hospitalized again.
Last year, I happened to watch your show on TV
and I bought a 30-day Self-Strength training tape series.
I listened to it over and over,
applying everything I learned on the tape.
I got out of my way when I started listening to his monthly talk show entitled DIALOGUE OF POWER.
I learned what he taught as a single personality
when I had always lived with multiple personalities before.
For the first time in 50 years of my life I have learned that happiness comes from within.
I became a unique person
and now I can recall the horrors that each of my 49 personalities had previously experienced.
As these memories emerge,
I can see them, and if they become unbearable,
I can now shift the focus of my attention in a unified rather than sporadic way as before.
I no longer had to put myself in an amnesiac coma and jump into another personality.
I am learning more and more about myself
and I am learning how to live the life of a unified human being.
I know I still have a lot to do and a lot to explore.
I am setting goals for myself
and planning to achieve them.
I have now started to lose weight
and aim for my ideal weight by Christmas (a precious gift to me).
I also know that I desire to have a healthy,
non-abusive relationship with a man.
Before my hospital stay,
I worked full time for IBM and I used to have 4 businesses.
Today, I am running a new business
and I am enjoying the good results of the increased sales that I have made since I left the hospital.
I’m slowly getting to know my children and grandchildren,
but most importantly, I’m getting to know myself.
What do you desire?
Ask yourself what you really want in life.
You want a happy marriage,
want to be respected by your children?
You want a lot of money, a new car,
a prosperous business, a magnificent house?
You want to travel the world,
visit unfamiliar ports, precious historical sites?
Do you want to be admired by millions as a rock musician
or a celebrity with your star on Hollywood Boulevard?
Want to leave a legacy for posterity as an inventor of a machine going back in time?
Do you want to work with Mother Teresa to save the world,
or play an active role in improving the human environment?
Whatever you want or desire,
you probably have to ask yourself,
“Why do I want it?”
You will eventually come to the conclusion that the reason you want those things
or results is because you see them as certain feelings,
emotions or moods that you desire.
All of our emotions are nothing more than a series of biological storms in our brains
and we can let them explode at any time.
But first we must learn to control them consciously instead of just living by reflex.
Most of our emotional reflexes are responses to the environment we’ve learned from.
We form some with our consciousness,
others come to us unconsciously.
Just being aware of these factors provides the basis for understanding the power of the state.
whatever we do is to avoid suffering and achieve satisfaction,
but we can immediately change what we believe will lead to happiness
or unhappiness by re-focusing our attention in their thoughts
and change their physiological and psychological states.
Good or bad actions differ not because of our abilities
but because of our mental or physical state at a time.
To change your ability,
change your status.
To unleash your abundant potential,
put yourself in a state of alertness and anticipation and miracles will happen!
So how can we change our emotional states?
Think of your states acting like a TV set.
For vibrant, vibrant colors with great sound,
you need to plug in the power cord and turn on the switch.
Turning on your physiological function switch is like supplying power to the TV set to work.
You need to kickstart your physiology,
that is, your whole body, to put it to work.
Have you ever woken up
and wandered around the house not knowing what to do,
unable to think of anything
until you moved your body
to get the blood circulating evenly throughout your body?
After leaving the “sluggish” state,
the machine is turned on,
and the ideas immediately come to you.
If you are in a bad state,
you will get nothing,
no matter how good your ideas are good idea.
There are countless feelings,
countless ways of looking at almost every aspect of life.
You always have all the sensations you want
and you just have to find them right.
And there are two simple ways
to find them and to change your mood:
change the way you function your physiology,
or change your focus.
“No experience is ever wasted.
Everything has meaning.”— Oprah Winfrey
Power Of Motorcycle
One of the powerful distinctions is that emotions are created by movement.
All of our sensations are the result of how we use our bodies.
Even the smallest changes in the expression of our faces
or gestures change how we feel at the moment and so change the way we value our lives,
the way we think and act motion.
Every emotion we have is associated with a specific physiological characteristic:
If you know how to use your body
when in certain emotional states,
you can revert to those states, avoid it,
by simply changing your body movements.
The trouble is that most of us limit ourselves
to a handful of physiological patterns.
We accept these patterns without realizing
how important they are in shaping our behavior from time to time.
If you usually use your body weakly,
if you are used to letting your back stoop,
if you walk around as if you are tired,
you will feel really tired.
It couldn’t be otherwise,
as your body guides your emotions.
The emotional state you are in has the opposite effect on your body
and so begins an endless loop.
What can you do to instantly change your state of mind
and thereby change how you feel and how you act?
Take a long breath in through your nose and then exhale through your mouth.
Show your teeth on both sides of your jaw and laugh at your wife or children.
If you really want to change your life,
spend the next 7 days practicing in front of a mirror,
five times a day, one minute at a time,
smiling from ear to ear.
You will feel very silly, but it is this movement of your body
that will stimulate your brain to make the association of joy into your habit.
Do it and enjoy it!
There is one focus:
“Your intention rules your life and determines the outcome.”— Oprah Winfrey
POWER OF CONCENTRATION
If you wanted to, could you make yourself sad at some point?
Sure, as long as you focus on remembering something really traumatic in the past.
We’ve all gone through some pretty sad experiences in the past.
If you focus on it,
visualize it and think about it for a moment,
you will quickly begin to experience it.
If you want to feel like you’re ecstatic right now, can you?
You just need to focus on remembering a moment in the past
when you were ecstatic about something.
Or you can focus on what you are ecstatic about in life right now,
what you feel is wonderful in life.
Moreover, you can focus on thinking about things that never happened,
and you can still feel ecstatic.
That’s the power of focusing on one focus!
Whatever focal point we focus on,
that focus becomes our idea of reality.
Want to change your life,
please change your status
Now you can change your status in many ways and all very simple.
You can change your body movements instantly by simply changing your breathing.
You can change the focus of your focus by choosing what to focus on,
or the order in which to focus,
or how to do it.
You can change your templates.
If you’re used to focusing on the worst that can happen,
Right now, start focusing on the best.
The basic thing in life is that there are countless different ways to guide your life,
making life an art.
Unfortunately, many people take very few steps to change their state of mind:
They eat too much,
drink too much, sleep too much, shop too much, smoke, or use drugs,
What benefits us,
but they can bring dire calamities.
The most serious problem is that many
of these harmful effects pile up on top of each other,
leaving us unnoticed and by the time we do,
it is too late.
That’s what happened to Presley and,
happens every day to many others.
If you find that there are things you need to do
but you don’t feel motivated to do,
you should know that you are not in the right place.
You have to take it as an imperative,
an imperative that compels you to do anything to change your condition,
by changing your physiology or changing your focus.
You must have a determined state of mind
in order to succeed great.
“Every great and decisive moment in the history of the world
are all triumphs of some enthusiasm.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Do you know how to make yourself feel good?
During a business trip in Toronto,
I felt uncomfortable with severe back pain.
As the plane landed,
I started thinking about what I needed to do when I got to the hotel.
It was 10:30 pm,
and I had to get up early the next morning to run the conference.
I could eat something,
I’ve been fasting all day,
but it’s already too late.
I can edit papers and watch the news.
It was then that I realized that all of these actions were just tactics for me
to avoid back pain and have some kind of comfort.
But all those actions did not seem to compel me.
So I had to think of so many other ways to feel good,
regardless of time or place.
Do you know how to make yourself feel good?
Sounds like a silly question, doesn’t it?
But do you really have a list of powerful and special ways
to make yourself feel good at times?
Can you achieve this without food,
or other sources of addiction?
Surely you have some means already,
but we should expand on it.
Right now, sit down and write down a list of things
you’re used to doing to change your state of mind.
As you write, add to your list of things you haven’t done yet
that could have a positive effect on changing your state of mind.
Don’t stop writing until you’ve written down at least 15 different ways
to help you feel good.
This exercise you can do over and over again
until you have a long list of hundreds of different methods.
As I wrote that list for myself,
I realized that playing music was one of the most powerful ways
to change my state of mind.
Reading is also a way for me to feel good
because it changes my focus and I love to learn,
especially reading books that provide knowledge
and have things I can apply in my life.
Changing my posture is also a way
I use to cut through a negative state and enter a state of abundance.
“Don’t try to be original, just try to be good.”— Paul Rand
If you don’t plan for fun,
you will have room for suffering
The trick here is to create an endless list of things we can do to help us feel good
and thus not fall into other ways that have a negative effect.
Make this list a reality,
develop a plan for joy every day and every day.
Don’t wait for joy to happen to you;
Set a place for joy to come:
make room for it!
All we’re talking about is controlling your nervous system,
your body, and the focus of your mind
so that it’s constantly looking for how everything in the world benefits you.
You should remember that if you still have negative emotional patterns,
it is because you are using your body according to old habits,
or you are still focusing on a certain negative focus.
If you need to change the focus,
there’s a great powerful tool to help you change it in no time.
You need to know that,
“to ask is to answer”,
is the title that will be developed in the next chapter.