Winning human heart!
Chapter 30: Honoring Others
You only freedom is the freedom
to discipline yourself.-Martha Washington
In 1915, the whole United States panicked at the risk of war.
For more than a year,
the nations of Europe fought each other
and caused unprecedented loss of life and property.
Does peace exist?
No one can answer that question.
But US President Woodrow Wilson decided to take the opportunity.
He sent an envoy to consult with European leaders.
William Jennings Bryan,
the Secretary of the Interior,
was keen to take on this responsibility.
He saw this as an opportunity
to do justice and possibly go down in the history books.
However, President Wilson appointed another.
It was a close friend and advisor to the President:
Colonel Edward M. House.
Mr. House took on the even more daunting task of finding a way
to deliver this unpleasant news
to Bryan without infuriating him.
Colonel House recounted in his diary:
“Bryan was clearly disappointed
when he heard that I was going to Europe as a peace envoy,
he said he planned to do it himself.
I replied:
“The president thinks it would be inconvenient
to let one person have as important in government
as he is to do it,
because it will attract a lot of public attention
and people will question why he has to go away”
Do you see the hidden meaning of House?
House indirectly tells Bryan
that the President views Bryan as extremely important
to the country.
Of course,
Bryan was very pleased with
that implication
because it showed everyone,
including the President,
saw his important role.
As shrewd and experienced,
Colonel House practiced one of the most important principles:
Make others feel happy,
doing what you want.
Woodrow Wilson followed this principle even
when he invited William Gibbs McAdoo(25) to be a member of his cabinet.
This is the highest honor given to a citizen.
Yet he made the invitation in a way
that made McAdoo feel even more important.
This is the story in McAdoo’s own words:
“The president said he was forming a cabinet
and he would be very happy
if I accepted the position of Secretary of the Treasury.
His way of speaking made me feel
that by accepting this honor
I had done him a great favor.”
It is not only politicians
and diplomats who apply this principle.
Even an ordinary person can use it effectively.
Dale O. Ferrier of Fort Wayne,
Indiana, recounts how he encouraged a young boy
to become interested in doing a job
he previously considered tedious:
“One of Jeff’s boring jobs is picking up fallen pears.
He doesn’t like the job,
and often doesn’t do it or does it
with a very negligent attitude,
leaving out a lot of fruit.
One day I said to him,
“Hey Jeff, I’ll talk to you about this,
if you find a basket full of pears,
I’ll pay you a dollar.
But if after you’re done,
I still find a pear left in the garden,
I’ll take a dollar from you.
Do you dare to bet with me?”
As expected,
the boy picked up not a single pear.
Not only that,
I also have to watch to see
if you pick any fruit from the tree to fill your baskets.”
Gunter Schmidt,
our student in West Germany,
had a staff member in a grocery store
who was very lazy and refused to put prices on the goods.
This makes customers complain a lot.
Reminding or threatening her doesn’t work.
In the end, Schmidt appointed her as the general manager
of the store’s pricing,
where she would be responsible for pricing all merchandise.
This new responsibility
and position completely changed her attitude.
Since then she has been very attentive
and performed her duties very well.
This story seems a bit childish.
But that’s also what people say about Napoleon
when he gave his soldiers 15,000 medals of the Legion of Honor,
named 18 of his generals “Marshal of France”
and called his army “Great Army.” .
Napoleon was criticized for giving “toys”
to seasoned warriors.
Napoleon replied:
“I do it because toys have always dominated people.”
A friend of mine,
Mrs. Ernest Gent of Scarsdale,
New York,
was annoyed by the boys running indiscriminately on her lawn.
Yelling and coaxing didn’t work,
and she devised a way
to give the most rebellious of the bunch a title
and a sense of authority.
She calls the boy a “detective”
and assigns him the responsibility
of stopping anyone from running across the lawn.
This solved the problem.
The “detective” also claimed to burn a piece of red iron
and threatened to imprint on any boy
who dared to step on the grass.
Leaders should keep the following in mind
when changing the attitudes or behaviors of those they manage:
1. Honesty.
Don’t promise something you can’t deliver.
Think of your employees’ interests instead of your own.
2. Know exactly what you want your employees to do.
3. Empathy.
Ask yourself what your employees really want.
4. Consider the benefits employees will receive
when doing what you suggestion, suggestion.
5. Compare these benefits with
what the employee asked for.
6. When making a request,
you should present it from the employee’s point of view.
Do not be too naive if you think that we always receive a positive
and favorable response when choosing such an approach.
But, human beings are prone to change their attitudes anyway
if we make others happy to do what we are suggested.
Even if it’s only 10% effective, it’s still a success.
Suggesting something clever for others to do is an art.
If we persevere in our practice
and have genuine concern for others, we will.
“The most important task of human beings is to live and bring
to themselves and those around them moments of peace and happiness,
awaken all their hidden abilities
and help them overcome the difficulties of life” – Dale Carnegie.
“When we really care and are patient enough to communicate,
we always get positive responses
and get the best results” – Charlotte Bronte
“There are high points in life,
and most of them come
from someone’s encouragement” – George Adams.
Rule 30: Honor others,
make them happy to take your offer.
*********************
Summary of Effective Leadership Principles
A leader’s job includes the ability
to help others change their attitudes and behaviors.
Here are a few suggestions:
Principle 22: Begin the conversation with a sincere compliment.
Principle 23: Comment on the mistakes of others indirectly.
Principle 24: Examine yourself before criticizing others.
Principle 25: Suggest, instead of command.
Principle 26: Know how to save face for others.
Principle 27: Honestly praise the progress, even the smallest, in others.
Principle 28: Praise makes others live worthy of that praise.
Principle 29: Encourage, pave the way for others to correct mistakes.
Principle 30: Honor others, make them happy to take your offer.
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