Chapter 12: Frankly Admit Your Mistakes
A few minutes away from my home is a primeval forest that people call it forest park. There are white raspberry dust in the spring, where cute squirrels nest and raise children. I often go there with Rex, a small dog Bulldog like my Boston. Because the park was empty, I did not chain neck and muzzle Rex but let it be comfortable.
One day we met a policeman who rode a horse in the park. He spoke to me:
“Hey, why did you let the dog go in the park without neck chains and muzzles? Do you not know that is a violation? ”.
“Yes! I know, “I replied softly,” But I think it cannot cause any harm to anyone here. ”
“He thought! Huh, the law does not need to know what he thinks. This dog can kill a squirrel or bite a baby. This time I let it go, but if I caught it again, you would have to answer it before the court. ”
I gently promised to comply with the regulations. In fact, I have abolished a few weeks. Rex didn’t like the muzzle and I didn’t want it to be like that either. So we removed it. Everything was peaceful for a while, but it was matter. In the afternoon, when Rex and I were leisurely going up a hill, suddenly from the bushes right ahead we appeared the legal representative the other day was on the horse’s back. I know I’m at fault. So did not wait for the police officer to speak, I said first:
– Sir, I have mistake. I am not crooked, not healing. A few weeks ago, he warned that if I brought this dog here again without muzzle, he would punish me.
– Yes. – The police officer softly. – However, I also understand, who does not want to let the pet dog comfortable in a deserted place like this.
– Yes, everyone wants, but that is against the law. – I replied.
– What is a small dog like this. – Police said.
– No harm, but it can kill the squirrels. – I say.
– Alright, I think you’re too serious. – He told me. – I will present your way. You let it run up the hill and see if I don’t see it – and we forget this.
The police officer wants to be important. When I started to condemn myself, the superior style he wanted to show was only a wide and forgiving attitude.
Instead of quarreling with the police, I quickly accepted, openly and enthusiastically, that he was completely right, and I was completely wrong. The story ended in the interesting place that I followed his point of view and he followed my point of view. While just a few weeks ago, this person was planning to use the law with me.
Is it much easier to criticize yourself than listening to criticism from others’ mouths?
If we see our wrongdoings before others have the opportunity to speak out, we will have 99% of the opportunity to be treated with a generous attitude, forgiveness and mistakes will be reduced.
Ferdinand E. Warren, an expert in the advertising industry, has used this technique to win the goodwill of an annoying, criticized customer. He said:
“In advertising and publishing, it is important to be accurate and meticulous. Some publishers require their orders to be done immediately. In such cases, it is very likely that some small negligence occurs. Especially, the art director of one of these publishers loves to find deep.
Recently, I sent him a work that had just been completed urgently. Shortly thereafter, he called me immediately. As expected as I predicted, he found the opportunity to outline my mistake, and aggressively asked why I did this and that. I immediately realized the opportunity to apply the self -criticism that had just learned and said:
– Sir …, if just as you said, I was so sorry and there was absolutely no way to defend. Each design for him for so long we should have better understand him. I feel very ashamed.
Almost immediately he began to protect me:
– He said yes, but nonetheless, it was not a serious mistake. This is just …
I interrupted him:
– Every mistake must pay the price.
He was about to say but I did not let him in time:
– I should have been more careful, he gave me many opportunities and he deserved to be responded fairly, so I needed to draw again.
He hurriedly Can:
– Oh no! I didn’t think of such trouble.
Then he praised my work, assured me that he just wanted to fix it a little. But such trivial errors did not harm, stop bothering it anymore.
The positive attitude of my fault makes him no reason to go further. He ended by inviting me for lunch. Before breaking up, he gave me a check and ordered another new order. ”
Any idiot tries to make mistakes and most fools do that. The self -recognition will make us different from the majority and give us one feeling of pride and noble joy. But it must be a sincere self -recognition, not pretending in the “passing” style or deliberately acknowledging the error to show the superiors, in the style of “I am not accepting”.
One of the most beautiful stories that history recorded about General Robert E. Lee was that he sentenced himself to the defeat of General Pickett in the attack in Gettysburg.
General George E. Pickett let long hair, wearing hats, riding a horse first. Behind him, the row of the army soldiers fluttered and shining. They bravely stormed despite the rain of the opponent’s bombs. Sometimes they have captured the battlefield. But that intense and heroic attack was just the prelude of the failure. Pickett’s army was defeated without armor.
The Gettysburg battle is the most serious mistake, causing the biggest loss in Lee’s glorious life. This failure marks the end of the historic role of the Southern army. Lee submitted his resignation and asked Jefferson Davis, the President of the Southern Union, appointing “a younger and more competent person”. If Lee wanted to assign that bad defeat to someone else, he was able to find dozens of healing words: A few commanders did not bring troops to the reinforcement for him. The cavalry did not come in time to support the infantry.
But Lee was so noble, so he did not blame anyone. When Pickett’s defeated army returned to the route, people were full of gore, Robert E. Lee rode his horse to meet soldiers and sincerely told them to condemn himself: “All of this is due to the fault of the fault I. I, and I only made this battle of great defeat. ”
In the history of world war, rarely see any generals with brave and outstanding leadership.
Elbert Hubbard is one of the most unique authors from past to present, capable of stirring a whole country. His mocking sayings sometimes cause very intense reactions. But Hubbard, with rare talent in treating people, sometimes turns his enemies into friends. When a reader was annoyed to write a letter to the editor to protest Hubbard, he often answered as follows: “Now looking back, I also do not completely agree with what I wrote.
Not everything I wrote yesterday was interesting for me today. I am happy to know that you are interested in this. Next time, if you have the opportunity to come here, please remember to visit me, we will discuss this more. Dear”.
What can we say to the person who treats us like that?
After each training course, our students must go through a test. Each person will be commented by his classmates, strengths and points to be completed. These comments are written on paper and not signed. After that examination, a student came to see me in a very disappointing mood.
Everyone in the class criticized him without speech, which was arrogant, bossy, selfish, ugly, deserving to boycott and escorting out of the classroom. I advised him to apply the principle in this chapter.
The next lesson, that “sinful” man stood in front of the class, looked straight at everyone and said: “Dear friends, I know that I’m not cute at all. Indeed, I made a lot of bad mistakes in dealing with people. Reading your comments, I am very sad but honestly recognize that it is very helpful for me.
This is a lesson of life and I sincerely absorb. I am just a normal person and also need to be loved like everyone else. Can you help me again? This afternoon, please write me a few more lines to tell me how to fix me. I promise to change really. ”
This sincere confession touched the whole class. New people who just wanted to bring him to the “executive” now enthusiastically praised his humility and sincerity. After that, they really helped him fix himself and encourage him to overcome that difficult adjustment period.
“If you were wrong, nothing or frankly said:” I was wrong. ”
“In relationships with people, always remember that we are communicating with creatures not only rational but also emotions, they are very vulnerable to prejudice but always motivated when there is self -reliance. Hao and pride ” – Dale Carnegie.
Principle 12: If you are wrong, quickly and frankly admit that.