For many years. Dale Carnegie is an author best known for his books on how to make friends and convince others. “How to Make Friends and Convince People” is one of the best-selling books of all time and has made Dale famous around the world. But it wasn’t his first published book.
In 1926, Dale Carnegie wrote books titled “Public Speech” and “Convincing Others in Business”. This is a book on public speaking, and is still considered the official textbook of Dale Carnegie’s famous courses on Public Speaking and Human Relations. This is also considered as the textbook for the Y.M.C.A lecture course. Within ten years, the book had sold 600,000 copies and the total number of hardcover copies sold worldwide was 1,000,000 copies. The book has been published in about twenty languages around the world and has sold thousands of copies in these languages. However, it is still not a book known to the majority of the general public.
Dale Carnegie courses have taken place in many parts of the world and more than 1,000,000 people have completed these courses. The courses have helped people become braver, happier and more successful in life because they have helped them develop their own abilities.
“Public speaking – how to increase confidence and convince others” contains a lot of wise advice to help readers achieve their goals. After re-reading the book, I learned how many wise rules for overcoming fear and gaining confidence in this book. Theoretical methods and suggestions have added rules to help people meet, individually or in groups, and talk effectively.
I really hope that readers will learn as much from the book as the thousands of students of Dale Carnegie courses around the world over the years.
Chapter 1: Develop your confidence and confidence
Since 1912, more than five hundred thousand people, both men and women, have attended public speaking courses using my teaching methods. Many of them have written to me explaining why they took the course and what they expected to gain from the course. Normally, each person has a different wording, but surprisingly, most of the letters express the same desire. Everyone wrote a general idea: “When I was called to speak, I suddenly felt very embarrassed, very scared. So I couldn’t think coherently, couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t remember what I was going to say before. I want to be confident, calm and able to think for myself. I want to organize my thoughts in a logical order and I want to be able to express my opinion clearly and convincingly in front of the company, the club or in front of a large audience.” Thousands of people have similar opinions.
Here I will tell you a typical case. Many years ago, a middle-aged gentleman named D. W. Ghent attended my public speaking course in Philadelphia. This is a person who leads a fairly active life. He founded and owned his own production facility, was a leader in mass activities and in church affairs. Shortly after the first lesson, he invited me to have lunch with him at the Manufacturer club. During the meal, he leaned against the table and said, “I have been asked many times to speak in front of a crowd, but I have never been able to do it. At those times, I suddenly became anxious, my mind went blank and I always had to avoid this. But now, I’m chairing a board of university governance committees. I have to preside over council meetings. And of course I’ll have to say something in those meetings… Do you think I can learn to speak at this age?” “You ask what I would think, Mr. Ghent?” I replied, “It is not a matter of what I think. The point is, I know you can do it, and I know you can, just practice and follow my instructions.”
He wanted very much to believe what I said, but it seemed too optimistic, too good. “I’m afraid you’re just saying it out of kindness,” he replied, “and you’re only trying to encourage me.”
After finishing that course, we lost contact for a while. After that, we had the opportunity to meet again and have lunch together at the Manufacturer club. The two of us sat in the same old corner again, at the same table we sat at the first time we got here together. Recalling the previous story, I asked if I was too optimistic. In response, he pulled from his pocket a notebook with a red spine and showed me a list of the dates and talks he was invited to give a speech. “And my ability to do these things, my joy in doing these things, and my contributions to the community are some of the things that make me most satisfied in my life,” he admits my life”.
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Shortly thereafter, an important conference on disarmament was held in Washington. When they learned that the British Prime Minister was planning to attend this conference, Protestants in Philadelphia telegraphed the Prime Minister to speak at a large gathering to be held here. And Mr. Ghent informed me that, of all the Protestants in this city, it was he who was chosen to introduce the British Prime Minister to the audience at that meeting.
And it was the same man who sat at the same table with me nearly three years ago who very seriously asked me what I thought he could speak in public.
But does that mean that his speaking skills are growing faster than normal? Not really. There have been hundreds of similar situations. The next story here will be another specific example. Many years ago, a Brooklyn physician, Dr. Curtis, wintered in Florida, near the practice ground of the Giants baseball club, which was a huge fan of the sport. In this sport, he often comes here to watch the players practice. Gradually, he became acquainted with the team, and was invited to attend an intimate party of the team.
After tea, a few important guests were invited to “speak a few words”. Suddenly, in the midst of that commotion, Dr. Curtis suddenly heard the host of the party say: “Today, at this party, a therapist is with us. And here I invite Dr. Curtis to talk to us about the health of baseball players.”
Does Dr. Curtis know about the subject? Of course yes. He knows better than anyone in the world: he has studied hygiene, has performed examination and treatment for nearly a third of a century. He could sit there and talk about the subject all night long for those around him to hear. But having to get up and speak in front of a group of audiences like at this party is another matter. It’s a problem caused by fear. At that moment, his heart suddenly beat twice as fast as normal, and continued to beat. In his life, he had never spoken in front of a crowd and all he thought about was how to grow wings and fly out of that place.
What should he do now? The audience applauded loudly, everyone looked at him. Dr. Curtis shook his head, but this only made the audience clap even louder. Everyone cheered for Dr. Curtis to speak.
The chants of “Dr. Curtis! Speak up! Speak up!” getting bigger and stronger.
Dr. Curtis at that time was really pitiful. He understood that if he stood up to speak, he would fail, because he could not speak more than six sentences. And so he got up, but without saying a word, turned his back on his friends and quietly left the room in a state of great shame and humiliation.
So it’s not surprising that the first thing Dr. Curtis did after the incident on his return to Brooklyn was to take my public speaking class. He didn’t want to be embarrassed like that again.
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Dr. Curtis is the model student that can make any teacher happy. He is really serious and enthusiastic in learning. He wanted to be able to talk, and this desire was not half-hearted. He prepared his talks very carefully, practiced with determination, and he did not miss a single lesson in the whole course.
Dr. Curtis did exactly what a practitioner should do; he progressed at such a rapid pace that even he himself was surprised, it exceeded his own expectations. After only the first few lessons, his confusion and anxiety gradually disappeared, replaced by increasing confidence. After only two months, he became the most prominent person in the class. And very quickly, he received invitations to speak from many places. Dr. Curtis is now beginning to love the feeling and excitement that speaking brings, the speciality and the new friends he gets from it.
A member of the Republican Campaign Committee in New York City, through several public addresses, knew Dr. Curtis and invited him to this city to give a speech in support of the Republican Party. This statesman was surprised to discover that the famous speaker he had invited was the same man who, just a year ago, stood up and left a party in embarrassment and shame. embarrassed because he couldn’t say a word because he was afraid of the audience.
Having confidence and boldness, the ability to think boldly and coherently when speaking in public is not a tenth as difficult as most people imagine. It is not a gift from God to a few individuals. In fact, it’s like the ability to play golf. Anyone can realize their potential if there is enough desire and determination to do it.
So is there any reason, even the faintest, to explain why when standing in front of a large audience, people can’t think as coherently as when sitting? Definitely not. In fact, you will think better when facing a group of people. Their presence will have the effect of making you more excited and excited. Many speakers will tell you that audience presence is motivating, it inspires, makes their minds work clearer, more coherent, and sharper. At times like these, thoughts, events, and opinions that they didn’t know they had, suddenly “like smoke gone,” as Henry Ward Beecher once said; and they have to catch it quickly before it’s over. You should consider this a good experience for yourself. This can be achieved as you work hard to practice and maintain the habit.
The important thing, however, is that you should be absolutely certain, that practice will help you remove fear from your listeners and give you confidence; and courage will last forever.
Do not imagine that your case is very difficult, much different from the usual. Even those who would later become the best speakers of their generation, in the early days of their careers, suffered greatly from blind fear and lack of confidence.
William Jennings Bryan, a veteran public speaker, once admitted that during his first public speaking sessions, his knees were almost glued together.
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Mark Twain, the first time he spoke, felt like there was a ball in his mouth, and his heart was pounding like he was in a race for the championship.
General Grant, a man who had captured Vicksburg and led the greatest war in the history of the world at that time, but admittedly, when he spoke in public for the first time, he seemed like a man who lost his temper. so moving.
Jean Jaures, the most powerful political speaker France had in his generation, once said: before he had the courage to make his first speech, he spent a year in silence in French Parliament.
Lloyd George once confessed: “The first time I gave a public speech, to be honest I was in a very miserable state. It didn’t sound like a speech. Because if I said it in a poetic way, then my tongue was stuck in my mouth, and at first, I couldn’t utter a single word.”
John Bright, a famous Englishman who fought for the unification and liberation of England during the Civil War, gave his first speech to a group of rural people at a school. On the way there, he was very nervous, afraid he would fail, and he begged his associates to clap their hands to encourage him if he showed signs of panic or confusion.
Charles Stewart Parnell, the great Irish leader, was terrified at the beginning of his speech, according to his brother’s records, when he often clenched his fists to the point of his nails. He stabbed his hand into the palm of his hand, causing blood to burst.
Disraeli once admitted that he would rather suffer the penalty of crucifixion than stand before the House of Commons for the first time.
In fact, many famous British speakers were unsuccessful in their first presentations, so it is now felt that Parliament is not the lucky venue for success. the first speeches of young statesmen. It makes them lose their temper.
After following and helping the development of so many speakers, I don’t usually mind when my students are a bit nervous early in their careers.
The speaker has a certain responsibility to prepare and deliver a speech, even though the audience is only about twenty people in a small company meeting – a little tense, a little excited. , a little shocked. The speaker needs to be cheered up as if he had just been through a very stressful event.
Speakers often have this feeling even when they are speaking on the radio. At that time, that feeling was called: “microphobia”. When Charlie Chaplin speaks on the radio, his speech is pre-written. And of course, he is a very familiar figure to British listeners. In 1912, he toured here with a satirical comedy called “A Night in the Concert Hall”. He had previously performed on the British mainstream stage.
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However, when he entered the studio, facing the microphone, Charlie suddenly had a feeling that his stomach was wrong, and that feeling was almost like when he was in the Atlantic Ocean right on a February storm.
James Kirkwood, a famous film actor and director, has also experienced a similar case. He was once a star on the speaking stage; but as he left the studio, finishing his presentation in front of an invisible audience, sweat dripped down his face. “An opening show on Broadway is nothing compared to this,” he admitted.
Some people, whether they speak often or not, experience this restlessness right before they start speaking, but within seconds, the feeling goes away.
Even Lincoln felt awkward when he first started. “He felt awkward at first.” Herdon, an associate attorney, recounts, “and he had to work very hard to blend in with the atmosphere. He had struggled with his lack of confidence and was very sensitive, so he was only more confused. I have witnessed and felt very sympathetic to him in such times. As he began to speak, his voice was high-pitched, not pleasant at all. His attitude, his gestures, his pale, dry and wrinkled face, his odd appearance – everything seemed to be working against him. But that was only for a short time.” Once he regained his composure, decency, and enthusiasm, his speech really began.
Your experience may be similar to Lincoln’s.
To succeed in your quest to become a good public speaker quickly and neatly, keep these four essentials in mind:
First: Start with a strong and persistent desire.
In fact, this is a lot more important than you think it is. If your teacher has the ability to see into your mind and heart and know the depth of your aspirations, he can predict, almost certainly, how quickly you will progress. . If your aspirations are faint and soft, what you achieve will be the same. But, if you are very persistent in pursuing your aspirations, with strong willpower, nothing on this earth can stop you from achieving your goals.
So build up the enthusiasm within you to do this self-training process. List all the benefits of this learning. Think about what more confidence and the ability to speak in front of people more persuasively would mean to you. Think about what that could mean and how it would make financial sense. Think about what it means to you socially, think about the friends that you will gain, think about how your personal influence will increase, think about the leadership you will have . And leadership will come to you faster than you ever thought or imagined.
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Chauncey M. Depew once stated that: “Nothing can make anyone quickly have a career and be recognized with certainty beyond the ability to speak in an acceptable manner”.
Phillip D. Armor, after becoming a millionaire once said: “I would rather be a great public speaker than a great capitalist.”
That is the goal that most educated people aspire to achieve. After Andrew Carnegie’s death, in his pile of papers, one found a life plan that he made when he was only 33 years old. At the time, he felt that just two years later his business could reach an annual turnover of $55k. As a result, he plans to retire at the age of 35 and go to Oxford to study, and is “particularly interested in studying public speaking”.
Try to think of the satisfaction and satisfaction that comes from practicing this new ability. I have been to nearly every part of the world, have had countless experiences; but the real and ultimate satisfaction is, I know there are few things that can match the feeling of being in front of your audience and making them think the way you think. It is a feeling of power, a feeling of power. It will make you proud of what you have achieved. It will elevate you above the level of those around you. This is really magical and really makes you feel emotional, unforgettable. One speaker once confessed: “Two minutes before I began to speak, I would rather be beaten than have to speak. But two minutes before the end, I’d rather be shot than stop talking.”
While trying, there are always some people who get discouraged and fall off their horses in the middle of the road; so you should always think that this speaking skill means a lot to you until your aspiration becomes more intense than ever. Therefore, start with enthusiasm, and it is that enthusiasm that will lead you to success. Set aside a certain night of the week to read these chapters. In short, make it as easy as possible to get started. Make withdrawal as difficult as possible.
When Julius Ceasar sailed across the strait from Gaul and landed with his entourage in what is now England, what did he do to ensure the victory of his army? A very clever thing to do: he stopped his army on the limestone cliffs of Dover, from there looking down into the crashing waves two hundred miles below, and they saw the red tongues of the flames that had died. burned down every ship they had ever passed. In the enemy’s country, where the last link with the continent was gone, thoughts of retreat were gone, there was only one thing left for them to do: advance, fight fight and win. And they did this.
Such is the spirit of the immortal Caesar. So why don’t you create that spirit in your fight against all the silly fears of your audience.
Second: Have a thorough understanding of what you are going to say.
Anyone feels uncomfortable when facing an audience, while not understanding and not knowing what they are going to say. The situation is like a blind person leading another blind person. At that time, the speaker will feel embarrassed, feel very sorry and ashamed for his negligence.
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“In the fall of 1881, I was elected to the Legislature,” Teddy Roosevelt recounted in his Memoir, “and I found myself the youngest person there. Like all the other young and inexperienced members, I had quite a bit of trouble in the institute training myself to know how to talk. And I learned many things from a rather stubborn old country man. He was then casually praising the Lord of Wellington, who at the time was also praising someone else. And I learned, “Don’t speak until you’re sure you have something to say, and know exactly what it is, then speak and sit down.”
The old farmer told Roosevelt another way to overcome anxiety. He advised Roosevelt: “You won’t be ashamed anymore if you can find something to do in front of an audience—if you can express something, write a few words on the board, or point to a point on a map. , move a table or open a window, move some books or papers – anything that makes you feel at home.”
In practice, it is often not easy to find reasons to do such actions; but it’s a good suggestion anyway. Try it out if you get the chance, but only for the first few sessions. The child does not need to cling to the chair anymore once he is able to walk.
Third: Act confidently.
One of the most famous psychologists America has ever had, Professor William James, once wrote the following: Action always seems to come after emotion, but in reality, action and emotion go hand in hand. . And by regulating our actions, which are directly governed by the will, we can directly regulate our emotions, which do not depend on will.
That way, if the euphoric feeling is gone, the only and voluntary way to get it back is to sit up cheerfully, act and speak as if the joy was always there. available there. If this doesn’t make you happy, there’s no better way to do that.
So, to feel brave, act like you’re brave, use all your willpower to do it. And a sense of courage can replace the initial fear.
Take Professor James’ advice. Show courage in the face of an audience, acting as if you had that courage at hand. Of course, unless you’re prepared, all the drama on earth has little effect. But if you know what you’re talking about, step out forcefully and take a deep breath. In fact, take a deep breath for about 30 seconds before you step up to your audience. Having more oxygen will help you feel more energized and courageous. The famous tenor, Jean de Reszke, once said that when you take a deep breath, all your worries disappear.
In all times, in all regions, people have always admired courage; So, even if your heart is pounding, walk boldly, stop, stand still like you love it.
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Stand up straight, look straight down at the audience, and speak confidently as if everyone down there owes you money. Just imagine it. Imagine they gathered there to ask you to extend their debt. That mentality will work in your favor.
Don’t be in a hurry to fasten and unbutton your shirt, fiddle with your beads, or keep fumbling around with your hands. If you have to do those frantic actions, keep your hands behind your back and hold them together so no one can see, or just wiggle your toes.
As a general rule, it is not good for a speaker to hide behind furniture; but for the first time, you may feel more confident if you stand behind a table or chair, grasp them firmly, or clutch a coin in the palm of your hand.
So how did Teddy Roosevelt develop his inherent courage and confidence? Was he endowed with a spirit of adventure and recklessness? That’s not quite the case. In his memoirs he wrote: “I was once a rather sickly and timid boy. As a young man, at first I was ashamed and disappointed by my so-called courage. I had to practice very hard, hard not only to train my body but also my soul and spirit.”
Fortunately for us, Roosevelt told us how he changed. He wrote: “As a young boy, I read a passage from a book by Marryat that still impressed me. In that passage, the captain of a British fighting army explains to the main character how to gain courage. He said that in the beginning, any soldier is afraid to fight, but the process later forces them to suppress that fear in their hearts and fight as if they were not afraid of anything. what. After a long enough time, all pretense becomes reality, and the soldier in actual combat becomes brave in the face of the wounds of training to be brave, while not feeling at all. that. (this is my own language, not Marryat’s)”.
“That is the theory that I applied. At first, there were many things that scared me, from grizzly bears to sick horses and gunmen; but by pretending that I’m not afraid, those things gradually become less scary. Everyone can do it if they choose this way.”
If you want to be like that, you can try. Marshal Foch once said, “In war, the best defense is to attack.” So choose an offensive stance to repel your fear. Step out to face your fears, fight and conquer them with your courage whenever you get the chance.
Make your own telegram, and imagine yourself as a Western boy directed to receive it. Don’t pay too much attention to the boy. The telegram is what we care about. Pay attention to the content of the telegram. Use your mind and heart to memorize it. Understand the message of the telegram like the palm of your own hand. Trust that message with your true feelings. Then speak as if you were very determined to say it. Do that, and the chances are ten to one that you will be in control of the situation and in control of yourself.
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Fourth: practice, practice and practice.
The last point that I want to make clear here is obviously the most important one. You may have forgotten everything you’ve read above, but keep this in mind: the first, last, and never-fail way to develop confidence in speaking is to speak. It is true that all matters can ultimately be concluded with a very simple but essential conclusion: Practice, practice and practice. It is a necessary condition for all, “without it there would be nothing”.
Roosevelt once warned: “Anyone who starts out has a tendency to be hasty. It is a state of being agitated, leading to extreme anxiety, which is different from feelings of timidity or fear. This can affect the speaker for the first time in front of an audience as if going to war for the first time. What that person really needs at that time is not courage but emotional control, calmness. This can only be achieved through actual practice. He, by habit and regular practice of self-control, must put all emotions under control. This is largely a matter of habit, in the sense of the constant effort and practice of willpower. If that person has the right forte, he will get stronger and stronger with each practice of that forte.
You want to get rid of the fear of the audience. Let’s try to see what the source of that fear is.
As Dr. Robinson writes in “The Mind in the Making,” “Fear is rooted in ignorance and uncertainty.” In other words, fear is the result of lack of confidence.
So what causes this? It’s the result of you not knowing what you can really do. And this thinking stems from your lack of experience. When you have achieved much success, the fear will disappear, like the fog that dissolves under the blazing sun of a summer day in July.
One thing is for sure: to learn to swim, you must first jump into the water. You have read this book long enough. Why not toss it aside and try to practice with existing tasks.
Pick a topic, pick one that you know more about, and try to come up with a three-minute talk on that topic yourself. Practice the speech yourself a few times. Then, if possible, try giving the talk to a group of people interested in the topic, or in front of a group of friends, putting all your resolve and energy into it.
1. Several thousand learners have written to an author about why they wanted to practice public speaking and what they hope to gain from it. The main reason most of them give is this: they want to overcome fear, want to think on their own, and be able to speak confidently and comfortably in front of any group of people.
2. It’s not difficult to do that. It’s not just God’s gift for just a few. It’s like the ability to play golf: Anyone, man or woman, can develop their own genius if they have the aspiration to do so.
3. Many experienced public speakers are better able to think and speak in front of a crowd than when talking to individuals. The presence of the crowd acts as a motivator, as an inspiration. If you faithfully follow the suggestions this book offers, there will come a time when it will all become your own experience, and you will look to the future with more optimism.
4. Don’t imagine your case especially difficult than usual. Many famous speakers, in the early part of their careers, also suffered from a lack of confidence and were almost obsessed with the fear of the audience. That has been the experience of Bryan, Jean Jaures, Lloyd Georae, Charles Stewart Parnell, John Bright, Disrael, Sheridan and several others.
5. Regardless of how often you speak, you must have lost confidence before you started speaking; but, after just a few seconds you regain your composure, that feeling will disappear completely.
6. To do the things in this book as quickly and effectively as possible, try these four things:
a. Let’s start with strong and persistent desire. Make a list of the benefits that exercise will give you. Always cultivate enthusiasm during practice. Think social and economic benefits, personal influence, and leadership. Remember the depth of your aspirations will determine whether you will make easy or hard progress.
b. Be prepared before you say anything. You can’t feel comfortable if you don’t know what you’re going to say.
c. Act confidently. “To feel brave, act as if you are brave, use all your willpower to do it. And a sense of courage can replace the initial fear.” That’s Professor William’s advice, Teddy Roosevelt also confessed that he used to use this method to overcome fear. You can overcome your audience fear by applying this psychological measure.
d. Let’s practice. That is the most important of all. Fear often stems from a lack of confidence; and lack of confidence is the result of not knowing what you can do; And this is due to your lack of experience. So create yourself a leaderboard with your successes and your fears will disappear.