Chapter 5: Can Change Happen in a Flash?
“Behold, I show you a secret:
We all won’t die,
but we will be transformed,
in a moment, in an instant…” – Corinthians
I still vividly remember dreaming of being able
to help other people change almost anything in their lives.
From a young age,
instinct told me that,
in order to help others change,
you must be able to change yourself first.
Ever since I was in middle school,
I’ve been trawling through textbooks
and tapes to learn the basics of how
to change people’s emotions and behaviors.
Obviously I want to improve in some areas of my own life:
being motivated; persevere and act,
learn the art of having fun,
and learn to communicate
and engage with others.
I don’t know why,
but somehow I feel I would be happy to have knowledge
and share what can improve the quality of people’s lives
and help them to like and love me.
That’s why since high school,
I’ve been called the “Solution Guy”.
If you have a problem,
I’m there and I’m proud to be called that by you.
The more I learn,
the more I am passionate about learning more.
Understanding how people’s emotions
and behaviors are influenced has become a passion of mine.
I took a speed reading course
and I devoured almost 700 books in just a few years,
and physiological development.
I want to know everything about
how to improve the quality of human life
and I try to immediately apply
what I learn to myself and share it with others.
As soon as I turned 21 years old,
I encountered a number of modern techniques capable of
making changes in people’s lives at almost the speed of light:
Simple techniques such as Gestalt therapy
and other techniques tools of influence
such as Erickson’s hypnosis
and Neuro-Linguistic programming.
I will never forget the first week I learned Neuro Linguistic Programming.
We’ve learned things like how to get rid of a lifelong obsession
in less than an hour that used to take 5 years
or more with traditional healing.
“What I know for sure is that every sunrise is like a new page,
a chance to right ourselves
and receive each day in all its glory.
Each day is a wonder.”— Oprah Winfrey
On the fifth day,
I suddenly turned to the psychologists
and psychiatrists in my class and said,
“Hey guys, we’re going to find some people with phobias and try them out!”.
People look at me and think I’m crazy.
They also made it clear that I wasn’t qualified
and that we had to wait six months to finish the course,
get a certificate of graduation,
pass an exam and if successful,
then we would be able to use these materials.
I do not wanna wait.
So I started my career by appearing on radio
and television shows throughout Canada
and then in the United States.
In these shows,
I talk to people about life-changing techniques
and make it clear that if we want to change our lives,
whether it’s a bad habit
or an obsession that has caused afflicted us for years,
we can change them in a matter of minutes,
even though people have tried
to change them for years to no avail.
A psychiatrist called me a quack and a charlatan
and accused me of making false statements.
I challenged this doctor to let go of his pessimism
and give me the opportunity
to treat a patient of his whom he had treated unsuccessfully for years.
It was quite daring to tell,
and he did not accept my offer at first.
But in the end he agreed.
He let one of his patients come to my treatment room on his own
and I started treating her.
After 15 minutes,
I wiped out all the snake phobia this woman had
and the other psychiatrist who had treated her unsuccessfully for 7 years.
The doctor was amazed.
And because of that I became famous,
I traveled all over the country proving
to people how quickly they can make changes.
people still sell suspicious news.
But when they see the results clearly in front of them,
they are not only interested and interested,
but also willing to take what I tell them
and apply it to their own lives.
“Things do not change;
it is we who change” – Henry David Thoreau
What are the two changes everyone wants in their life?
Do we all want change or:
1) How we perceive things
2) Our behavior?
If a person experiences a tragedy,
childhood abuse, rape, bereavement, lack of self-confidence
it is clear that the person will continue to suffer
until the feelings they try to heal with those tragic events changed.
Likewise, if a person overeats,
or is addicted to drugs,
they have a series of behaviors that need to be changed.
The only way to make this change is to associate pain
with old behavior and joy with a new behavior.
“Have the courage to follow your passion,
and if you don’t know what it is,
realize that one reason for your existence on earth is to find it.”— Oprah Winfrey
This sounds simple,
but to make the target change
real and lasting, we need a method.
In chapter 1 I said that one of the basic ingredients
for creating lasting change is changing beliefs.
The first belief we must have in order
to change quickly is that we must change now.
We must have faith that we can make a change in an instant.
Indeed, if you can create a problem in an instant,
you can also create a solution in an instant!
Make that moment present now.
The second belief we must have if we want lasting change
is that we must take responsibility for our change.
This belief is realized in the following 3 steps:
1) First, we must believe,
“Something must be changed”.
Not that it should change, can change,
or need to change,
but must change absolutely.
2) Second, not only must we believe that something must change,
but we must
believe, “I have to change that”.
We must see ourselves as the source of change.
Otherwise we will always
look to someone else to change for us and we will blame that person
when the change doesn’t work.
3) Third, we must believe, “I can change”.
If we don’t believe we have the ability to change,
we won’t have the opportunity to go to the end
The power of the mind
What a wonderful gift we are endowed with by our Creator!
We know that our brains can help us express almost anything we want.
The possibilities of the real brain are limitless.
Most of us know very little about how the brain works,
so we’ll focus on this incomparable power
and see how we can manipulate it
to produce the desired results for our brains.
Remember that the brain is always in a state of waiting for your every command
and ready to do anything you ask it to.
Just a little fuel:
Oxygen in your blood and some Glucose.
In terms of complexity and brain power,
it surpasses all of our most modern computer techniques.
It is capable of processing up to 30 billion bits of information data per second
and has the equivalent capacity of 6,000 miles of cables and wires.
The average human nervous system consists of 28 billion neurons
(Nerve cells with the function of conducting excitation).
our nervous system cannot decode the information we receive from our senses,
cannot transmit this information to the brain,
and cannot give instructions from the brain to know what to do.
Each neuron is a tiny,
self-contained microcomputer capable of processing about a million bits of information.
These neurons operate independently of each other,
but they also communicate with each other
through a wondrous network of 100,000 miles of nerve fibers.
The brain’s ability to process information is staggering,
if we know that a computer,
even the fastest computer can only process information one at a time.
a single reflex in a neuron can propagate
into hundreds of thousands of other reflexes in less than 20 milliseconds.
To put it simply, that’s ten times faster than the blink of an eye.
So, with all this power in our hands,
why can’t we make ourselves happy all the time?
Why can’t we change a habit like drinking, smoking,
overeating, or procrastination?
Why don’t we immediately shake off our depression,
disappointment, and feel happy every day of our lives?
We can! What is needed is that we know how to use our brains.
“Having intelligence is not enough;
What you need is to know how to use your intelligence.”-Rene Descartes
Associative manipulation of the brain gives us six steps to change our behavior
by breaking the patterns that disable us.
But first we have to understand how the brain works.
Every time we experience a large amount of pain or pleasure,
our brain immediately searches for the cause of this experience.
It uses the following three criteria:
1. The brain looks for something out of the ordinary
To narrow down the number of possible causes,
the brain tries to discern what is unusual in the situation.
It seems logical that if you are having strange sensations,
there must be an extraordinary cause.
2. The brain finds out if anything is present at the same time
What happens at the same time as a state of deep pain
or pleasure is most likely the cause of the feeling.
3. The brain seeks unity
If you are feeling miserable or happy,
your brain immediately begins to recognize
what is unusual and happening at the same time.
If the same thing happens every time you feel happy or sad,
you can be sure that your brain will identify that as the cause of the feeling.
Since these three association criteria are very imprecise,
it is easy to misinterpret and to have misleading associations.
We must therefore evaluate those associations
before starting the potential decision-making process eager.
Too often we blame the wrong causes
and so we don’t have the right solutions.
I know a very successful woman in the arts
who broke off ties for 12 years with a man she loved passionately.
She is a very passionate person in all she does;
This made her a talented artist.
But after she broke off her relationship,
she always felt deep pain
and her mind immediately searched for the cause of this pain-it tried
to find out what was out of the ordinary in the relationship.
Her mind recognized that her love was a particularly passionate one.
Instead of seeing it as a great element of the relationship,
she began to think that it was the reason it ended her mind also searched
to see if anything was present at the same time as her pain;
and it also realizes that she had a culmination of infatuation
just before the relationship ended.
When she searched for something that was always homogeneous,
infatuation consisted of all three elements,
so her mind concluded that it must be the cause of the love’s painful breakup.
Having attributed the cause of the breakup to infatuation,
she decided she would never experience that level of passion in relationships again.
This is a typical case of false association.
She was thinking of a wrong cause
and this cause now became her guide in her behavior
and thus it smothered all her potential
for a good relationship more in the future.
The real cause of a relationship breakup is that you
and your lover have different values and principles.
But she blamed it on her infatuation,
so she avoided it at all costs,
not only in relationships,
but also in her art.
“You cannot wait for someone to save you,
to help you,
to complete you.
No one can complete you.
You complete yourself.”— Oprah Winfrey
As a result, her quality of life deteriorated.
This is a prime example of the strange ways we sometimes get entangled;
We must understand how our brains make associations
and must question the associations we have just accepted
because they can harm our lives.
Otherwise, we will fall into disappointment
and feel unsatisfied in our personal and professional lives.
A source of self-destruction
Confusing associations are far more dangerous and harmful,
they are seen as a source of self-destruction.
If you feel like you’re about to start accomplishing something,
but then cancel it,
you can blame the association for confusion.
Maybe your business starts off well,
is doing well, but then falls apart shortly after,
you may find the cause is the very association
between pain and pleasure in the same in a situation.
One example many of us may encounter is about money.
In our culture, people have extremely mixed associations with wealth.
It is undeniable that everyone loves money.
Money can give people more freedom, more security,
the opportunity to contribute,
and make change.
But at the same time,
many people never cross the limit of “excessive” wealth which
is the source of many negative things.
They consider excess wealth to make people greedy,
become immoral or lack spiritual life.
One of the first exercises I ask in my financial life seminars is brainstorming
to come up with positive associations
as well as negative associations people have about wealth.
On the positive side,
people will write things like:
and making a difference.
On the negative side (more often) people will write:
Husband and wife quarrel,
blame and taxes.
Can you find the difference in magnitude between these two association lists?
Which side do you think has more influence in your life?
When you’re deciding to do something,
if your brain doesn’t clearly tell you what’s painful and what’s pleasurable,
it’s going to be chaotic and bewildering.
“The key to realizing a dream is
to focus not on success but significance,
and then even the small steps
and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning.”— Oprah Winfrey
As a result,
you lose the motivation and power to decide what actions get you what you want.
When you give your brain mixed associations,
you get mixed results.
You should remember that
what is important is not the number of sides that are high
and which are small,
but the dominant weight of which side.
You may have more money-related pleasure than pain associations,
but even one very strong negative association can disqualify you from financial success.
The suffering-suffering barrier
What happens when you get into a situation where no matter what you do,
I call this condition the suffering-suffering barrier.
Often when faced with this situation,
we become completely paralyzed not knowing what to do.
Usually we choose to do what we believe is less painful more miserable.
But there are also people who completely succumb
to suffering and fall into a hopeless situation.
Using the six-step association manipulation approach will help you overcome these negative patterns.
You will build pathways to truly re-arm yourself to feel
and act consistently with your new choices.
If you don’t change the associations of pain
and pleasure in your nervous system,
no change will be permanent.
Now, right now,
choose one thing that you want to change in your life.
Take action and fully follow every step that you will learn,
and you will make the changes you want.